Therapy Roulette

Vulnerability in Improv & Sketch Comedy w/ Kay Mollica

January 07, 2021 Michele Baci Season 1 Episode 116
Therapy Roulette
Vulnerability in Improv & Sketch Comedy w/ Kay Mollica
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Michele (@michelebacicomedy) talks about the riots on the US Capitol and the hypocrisy behind it. She’s also seeing a new therapist soon!

This week’s guest is Kay Mollica (@quemollica), a Brooklyn based comedian and voice over artist. Kay talks about going to art school and the ladies bond over going to New York state colleges. Kay tells us that she loves to gab, and that’s why therapy works so well for her.

Kay shares that she wanted to get into comedy since she was a teenager. She talks about writing for Reductress, embracing the cheesiness of improv, and how her coach called her out for never choosing to play vulnerable characters. She’s currently directing Moxie, a virtual sketch lab, which is a space for women, trans, and non-binary people to write comedy. Kay and Michele discuss the “crazy ex-girlfriend” stereotype.

Kay tells us why she’s obsessed with Nate: A One Man Show by Natalie Palamides and that she’s been watching intuitive eating videos on Tik Tok lately.

Also, the comic who has a bit about free printing who Michele references is Sheng Wang @shengwangtime.

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Theme music by @hannahvsthemany

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Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you don’t have problems, then you’re likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Who’s not me)

Hello and welcome to another episode of Therapy Roulette: consent to vent. My name is Michele Baci, I am your host. And today, I am recording this Wednesday night. Today was the day the US Capitol was overrun by Trump supporters and people with a confederate tilt to them. I watched the news once Joseph came running into the living room and say said, you know, do you know what's happening? And I said, No, I am working. I'm not on my phone. Even though I always get the CNN alerts I usually have. I've grown desensitized to them. So I didn't notice there was a revolt happening in DC. But Joseph drew my attention to it. And then I watched the news for a few hours and totally spun out watching what was unfolding. And it's crazy to me to watch people who blindly worship the president, adhere to his every beck and call and how Trump can just you know, he has this power over the country over the American people, simply because he's the president and he is unfit to be the president. And just seeing the way these magga hat wearing folks were able to overrun Congress and kind of sacred grounds that are usually very heavily secured and guarded. Just run in there and pose these like, touristy jackass, take pictures, thumbs up, stole the podium, you know, jumped into Congress, grab the gavel these idiotic things. I don't know, it made me sick to watch that, while hearing GOP members of Congress saying oh, we're still gonna contest the electoral votes because we believe there was fraud in the election, which is a bold faced lie. So this is not a political podcast, but this is how I'm feeling mentally. And I'm just gonna read a blurb from a CNN article that is titled, US Capitol secured for dead after rioters stormed the halls of Congress to block Biden's win by Ted Barrett and Manu Raju and Peter Nicholas. Just to sum up the hypocrisy that I cannot believe is happening in front of our eyes. The shocking scene was met with less police force. The many of the Black Lives Matter protests that rolled across the country in the wake of George Floyd's killing at the hands of Minneapolis police officers last year, while federal police attacked peaceful protesters in Lafayette Square outside the White House over the summer, clearing the way for Trump's and take a photo in front of a nearby church at the time protesters on Wednesday, we're able to overrun Capitol Police and infiltrate the country's legislative chambers. That's the article and I will add look like total fucking jackasses while posing for tourists photos like they were in breaking into the Capitol building. And just to sum up my feelings right now, here's a quote about hypocrisy by Noam Chomsky. For the powerful crimes are those that others commit Noam Chomsky. And I think that is how Trump runs his life. He commits crimes left and right all day every day. And he's never held accountable. yet. he hires lawyers to insinuate that other people are committing crimes all the time. And he, you know, gets a thrill out of it, or he gets his ego, pat it a little bit. I don't know what his goal is there. He's a visa criminal and he's not being held accountable for his crimes. So seeing what will unfold in the next two weeks before Biden becomes our president will be very interesting. And I'm sure like nothing we've seen before, hang on to this season of America because it's still going folks still going. Anyway. In other mental health news, I have found a therapist to have a first appointment with virtually

I think we'll do zoom. And I'm excited about it. I reached out to two different therapists and I think I will like talk to a couple until I find a good match for me, or I'll talk to one, see how it goes for a month or so and then, you know, once you get a vibe breeding, then you can figure out like, is this a therapist I want to continue with or should I look for someone else. But I'm definitely more confident in my therapy mindset. After having been in therapy, off and on for about three years, I feel like having taken the time to be a patient of different types of therapists, different personalities, and also just being interested in psychology and mental health. I've learned it's better to speak up and offer what you're thinking, even if it's like a little embarrassing, or a little uncomfortable to say, Hey, I don't know if we're really like a great fit as a client patient relationship, or client, Doctor relationship patient doctor, I don't know if we're a great fit. Do you have any other referrals? Or, like, what do you think of the situation? Do you think I could be doing something differently to make these sessions more productive? And even though it's a weird thing to offer, and I don't know, if I would phrase it like that, usually, I just kind of like, end things. And I'm like, Oh, I think this is working. With my last therapist, the one on talkspace. I actually said, like, I think I'm feeling confident enough to operate without therapy. What do you think? And she was like, hell yeah, go for it. Go navigate life on your own. So she was clearly either sick of me, or she thought I could handle life on my own and didn't need a referral or anything. So I felt very mature asking her, what do you think? I think I'm good with therapy right now. But what do you think as my therapist, she said, fuck therapy, go live your life. I think she was kind of overworked. Because this has been a hell of a pandemic. But anyway, so my approach to a new therapist who I'm seeing tomorrow over zoom, isn't just going to take it a day at a time, I'm going to commit to at least a month, to a couple months of sessions, until I feel like, Hey, this is working, I want to stick with this long term with this therapist, or, hey, this isn't working, I should bring it up to her. And it may be asked like if she referred someone else, or if she can suggest some way to make our sessions more productive for me. So I'm excited. I think I just need someone to talk to you and like spill my brain out to instead of just always writing in a journal, or putting it on Joseph, or getting it out through the podcast, I think it'd be helpful to talk to a professional. So I'm excited to get back into that swing. We're just gonna dive into the interview. It's a really fun one. I get to talk to Kay Mollica, who is the sister of Gabe Mollica, who I had on the podcast a few weeks back, and Kay is from my hometown on Long Island, and we kind of bond about that. We bond about going to SUNY schools in New York, and she's just such a funny person. I forgot how hilarious she is. Kay Mollica is a Brooklyn based comedian. She's an improviser, a sketch performer, a director and voiceover artists. I'd like to welcome to the podcast, Kay Mollica. 

guest interview / a friend for you / strangers whose issues are relatable / guest interview / They're the voice that's new / this person has problems and they don't mind discussing it, but they still need a therapist / (Who’s not me) 

Cool. All right, so Okay, just tell me what you've done today. How's

it?

How's your day been going?

Oh, man, Michele. Um, well, right off the bat. your listeners have to cancel me because I've been going to the gym. But you know, I use the machines. I wipe the machine down before I use it. And then I wipe it down after and I wash my hands. I used to do stuff on the mat.

Oh damn, you've been going 

I know

 You've been going to a real life gym?

A Real Life gym. This is really controversial

that's awesome, though 

less than a minute in. Yeah, it's been really nice.

That's something I miss. I miss the gym desperately. Because that's like my way of getting out rage or frustration. All those negative emotions. Yes. So you're, you're healthy and like maybe stable compared to most people right now.

At what cost at the cost of social suicide, I guess. But for good reason. I really do try to be careful.

I try not to fear being canceled. So I try to encourage others if you know, the world's Twitter, Twitter's gonna do what they're gonna do.

Twitter do your thing I can do is sit back and watch.

come at us. He's going to the gym.

Yeah, really?

What is it the Long Island's like, gym or Brooklyn?

I'm on Long Island right now. And I was actually home for like, a little under two years. Right before I moved out January 2020. And one thing that I really missed about being home was this gym right near my house. It was really spacious. LA Fitness.

What a time to move out of your parents house.

Yeah, yeah.

I've been hearing these funny, right. I'm like, I'm obviously very privileged. And like a lot of people, the pandemic totally fucked up my life. But I haven't taken the time to just mourn and be like, why are you literally like, just got it together and moved out and had three months of really, they're really great three months, January to March of 2020.

Before everything changes, tax is such a such a brief run of independence, and then it's like, and now don't leave your house. It's just lock it down state put a

nail on the head.

Yeah, well, I'm glad you're going to the gym. Is it like, people are spread out? And it's not? Is it at a capacity? Like everything else?

Yeah, it's out of capacity. There's like cleaners everywhere that I overly use, and it's every other machine. And I've been tattling if you're not wearing a mask, which is great, because that's like my new philosophy for 2021 is just always tattle. So if you're not willing to ask me, I'm going to tell you.

We have to call out the anti maskers. Especially the people who have their nose hanging out everywhere. If you're in line at a business and someone's like, heavily breathing through their nose, I walked by this guy in public the other day, no mask just as easily coughing, just coughing everywhere. We're like, he has the Rona, and we have it now too, because he's coughing so close.

Oh, no, you can't.

You can't control what people are doing. So many people are not cognizant of how they're affecting others.

I mean, should still spreading right like, and a lot of people are going, Yeah, like essential workers are still going in. It's so different though. Because like me and Gabe both worked in the city. So like we're not going in. But we have friends and neighbors who don't live in the city who've been going into wherever they work, whether that be an office or like a school or some sort of Central work.

Yeah, in California, a lot of stuff is shut down. But I know some people are going to their offices, like Joseph was going into his office for a while. And in December, they were like, maybe not this month, like maybe we'll play it safe this month because of the holiday spread out. So it's been back and forth.

That's interesting. Yeah, I've heard other people say like, they went in for a month and then they got some email that was like, don't go in anymore. We my office has just been closed. And we're definitely because I know, bro.

I know there's for me, if I was running an office, I would be like, there's spikes in the news. Let's shut it down. But then I know other places of work have had like outbreaks. So that's probably a bunch of a bunch of reasons.

You're not wrong. I love the I love the podcast, Mike. It looks so sleek. This is my new Christmas toy. I like it a lot. It's awesome. Yes. Oh, cute. Good job. Good job. Gabe. He got it for me. Good job right now.

Nice. I

rarely give him credit for anything. I tell him all the time. I'm impressed by you.

You have to keep the oldest child in their play. That's true.

You're the oldest right, Michelle?

Yeah, and my ego like can inflate sometimes. So I feel like you have to not give us too much. Too many compliments.

You have a lot of siblings. We'll roll with it. You have

one or four form.

I feel like you and gave her a good like comedy. Family. So

yeah, both people ask us if our parents are funny entertainers. Minimum we're entertaining. Yeah, it's a train wreck in slow motion.

So we're here with Kay mollica. Okay, how are you doing? It's been forever since I've seen you.

I know. It's been like you were saying I think a decade if not more. I've been doing fine. Everyone is healthy. And well. We are in month 10 of quarantine. And everyone's just pretty used to the routine.

Mm hmm. No complaints sign is a good sign is a good word for it. I've been saying I'm okay. I'm okay today like I am. I'm doing better than other days, you know, but I'm never doing good or great or any of those like, explanatory over the top words. Oh, yeah. I

think you're like a sociopath. If you're like, I'm amazing. Everything's great for me.

I've never never been better. 2020 was my year.

Right. So

coming into the new year. I feel like it's that little reset button. I feel like people are like, happier about a new a new year on our calendar.

Oh yeah. I love all that shit. I love Mondays. I Love New Years like a fresh hour. I love that like I love a fresh start. I Love New journals all of it really into that stuff.

Oh my god, Instagram has been like bombarding me with the ads for journals. One planner slash gratitude journal thing and now they're like, why don't you look at all varieties that exists in the world like here you go on your Instagram feed it's it's over Well, yeah. And then when you

order one it like literally falls apart and all the pages will fall out. And it's all a sham. Yeah,

it looks like it was made. It looks like it was made in like a Elementary School. Like, from 10 years ago factory.

Definitely not even not even vibrant. Like the picture. Exactly. Instagram is live in every way, shape and form. I've been getting into post sets and just like old school, writing a list out Ooh, nice. Good sticky note.

Something basic, so I can't fuck it up. So tell us, how's your therapy life going right now? Are you in therapy? How's it going?

That's a great question. I am in therapy. I am in zoom therapy since August question mark. I have Yeah, I've been on and off with therapy since college. But I've only had one like major therapist who I saw pretty religiously every other week IRL. And then this new therapist I've been seeing every other week over zoom. And before that I'm in college, there's like a certain amount of therapy sessions. You can see it like the counseling center until they kind of run out. And then I did an a program with AmeriCorps and they had like six free therapy sessions, and I took my six of them and then they were out.

So I've never I never went into like counseling in college because I feel like I wasn't that advanced mentally to be like, Oh, you can seek help for your problem. I didn't realize that was that was an option in college. So it wasn't like on campus. They give you so many sessions and they're like, we offer this to every student like Here you go. Was it just like, everyone gets us if you want to take advantage of it

from what I remember. Yes. And I remembered like distinctly like the sessions running out. But really, Michelle, I did that like my senior year, like I was just raw dog and life from freshman year, junior year, which was like inadvisable.

Because if you think about a college student, you're What do you have your peers to like seek advice from and everyone's just like, man, wild and crazy. A bunch of art students

no one's everyone's in their feelings. No one's giving

you No one's giving you like mature wise nuggets. So

unfortunately, no SUNY Purchase not filled with a lot of psych majors in terms of who will eventually go on to be the best therapists but no shade I love SUNY Purchase.

Did you study psych in college?

I didn't. But you know what if I can go back I think I would have double majored or honestly minor in either that or sociology.

Oh, nice. Yeah,

I love those topics. And I actually minor in arts management, which we all called farts management, lol. And I like I don't like regret it regret it. But if I could go back, I definitely those were a waste of five classes. Like I didn't learn anything in them, I found that pretty uninteresting. And it was mostly just like, just go get an internship, if you want to be an a manager of the arts.

I feel like because you were at SUNY Purchase, it's an art school, maybe they were they were like we could specialize in arts management. And then it looks good when you get it on your diploma and your, your GPA resume and everything.

Absolutely. And like it really took me a while into college and then a little bit outside of college to just know the purpose of a liberal arts education is like not so much. That specialization like I learned how to think get into like read and write and like made mistakes and like change my mind and a lot of things and I think that was the point of those four years. Like if I really want to specialize, I can give a grad school lots of money, which is the only prerequisite to getting into grad school.

I know I feel the same way like I studied English and creative writing so I feel like I didn't have to do that traditionally at a four year school but it did help me like give myself that time to really delve into it and socialize and you know learn how much alcohol like I you know learned all these important things. Right But the degree it's like, oh, the degree is whatever in the end it's like not gonna make or break me long term.

Yeah, agreed and that's awesome that you studied those things. Okay, let me see if I get this right. Was it Binghamton you went to Oh, dang dang. Yes, state school.

That's us. They call it a public Ivy just make you feel better. Great public school.

You can say like the something of Ivy is But nothing of not anything

it's all marketing jargon to like pull you in that in the free cookies they give you

we are spilling the tea right now on every form of higher ed for higher ed found dead.

Honestly, yeah, it's nice to talk to another SUNY student because I only have my my clothes begin to talk about this stuff and then no one else understands what a CD is

no. And like, I'm really proud to be the product of a public school education too.

And your knees are great. I feel like it was economically a good choice. Like being from New York, you

got a pretty discounted tuition. Exactly. And even outside of New York, it's not so bad.

Yeah, it's a good school, SUNY Binghamton, so you need to check them out. What made you want to go to art school? Because what did you end up majoring in a purchase?

Oh, God. It's so strange thinking about why I made the decisions I did at 17. Like, I'm because I go ahead,

I applied to purchase I applied to purchase, because I just applied to like a bunch of schools. And I remember thinking maybe I want to specialize in creative writing at like a specific art school. And I applied to their water polo team, and they accepted me Oh, that's out of out of No, you know, no water polo test. And I was like, I don't know if I trust this acceptance.

Test. And I can't swim. Wow. Oh, no,

I don't, I don't know what it was. Maybe they made you pick an extracurricular on the application or

something like that. I probably blocked it all out. Yeah. And to Michelle, like we both grew up in Garden City, which is like an affluent suburb. And so much of our self worth was based on like, the college we got into and what we even were comfortable applying to, they like publish all of our names in the schools who were going to and like our graduation programs. And I actually,

I assisted with the publication in the newspaper. I am fully part of the problem, but I had to I had to do it. I was on the newspaper. You had to do it gun to

your head, you had to list where all our peers went to very expensive private schools. Yeah, but it's like, I don't think other schools do that. Like, I remember like,

if you go ahead, go to college at all. It's like a huge like, accolade. Like, you're going to college. Awesome. And then the name. I mean, the name really matters in Garden City. Everything's about the brand. Everyone's wearing Burberry. But it shouldn't matter that much like I was, I didn't know what Binghamton was. I was like, Oh, it's a school in New York. Yeah. And people there were rain boots. I thought that was cool. That rain is college.

That's so true. College students love rain, right?

Like tall rain boots with pajama pants and just not really caring with the whole outfit looks.

Absolutely that's living the dream. Yeah. And

like I didn't realize before how much rain and snow it would be but then it all works.

Yeah, really? Now you're in LA. Um, but yeah, I distinctly remember I like

made you decide art school?

Mm hmm. Well, I'll say this too. Like, I remember people like sticking up their noses kind of like, this person's going to SUNY Purchase. Or like, maybe you experienced that with binghampton. Um,

well, I wasn't really I've ever people. People say like, Oh, I got into Binghamton. As like my safety. I'm like, Okay. I don't know what's what safeties are. I mean, whatever.

Right? Yeah, the whole culture

of Go ahead, get

a mass. No, that's okay. We're vibing it's all good. I just didn't even remember not really not going into like a conservatory and purchases, pretty known for their different conservatories for just like kind of all means of art, like visual and performing arts and music. So I just joined the liberal arts program, and it was close enough to home where I could pop home for the weekend. It was expensive. Most importantly, I got in to it. I am not the most academically inclined person. I feel like I wasn't really focused on school or grades like that. I'm still really not that interested. And I think I'm a smart person too. But I just like, I don't care. I don't care about testing. Well, I just wanted to get out. That was really my only mo I remember at the time.

Like, did you feel like you had to go to college? I feel like it was expected in our hometown.

Yeah, I did feel like I had to go to college. But I also was just like, Oh, I can't wait to like live in a dorm and eat microwave popcorn with my new cool friends and like meet boys. Which like to have those three things happen. All the boys at sea right? Exactly. That's what that's definitely my reputation as SUNY Purchase. Just a real

Fox microwave popping Yeah,

that's her popping your microwave popcorn just a revolving door of adorable men and beanies. No, no, no no.

I do remember looking into it cuz I think it was one of the first schools I got into and then and I looked up like Regina Spektor went there and a couple super famous people. And then I I don't know why I didn't look further into it. I was like, I'm not really that artsy. Why I applied to this. We do have

a pretty illustrious alumni. Stanley Tucci and Ed Falco both went to SUNY Purchase.

Oh my god,

I love Ed. Oh, yeah. And we have these two scanners in the library. fidi Falco and Stanley Tucci.

What an homage

to scanners. Isn't that what you want is just a scanner that has some sort of pun on Michelle bacigalupo?

Sure, I mean, I could take a more updated technology. Give me the new iPhone named after me, right? Yeah, my

legacy is definitely gonna be like a deeper knowing.

It'll be retro by the time it comes back.

It's definitely my brand. I'll take it.

So you you went to purchase and then dabbled in therapy senior year? And then how did you come up with this like new? Or is it new the once every other week schedule? The bi weekly schedule? How did you like go into therapy saying I want to see you every other week? Is that your idea?

I think it's standard question mark. I also just know it's better economically to have a payment twice a month as opposed to four times a month.

For sure. I've always wanted that schedule and the therapist side. The therapist I find is always like, Oh no, we do weekly if not more interesting. Oh,

yeah, that's what's so interesting about therapy. It's like it's so varies. And honestly, it really just boils down to who this therapist is. And there's lots of different types of therapy. I just do regular old talk therapy. But I love to gab I definitely love to express my feelings through so much talking. But I know other people prefer more of a goal based therapy or behavioral therapy. I happen to not see a psychiatrist for my needs, but some people do and that's all good. And I kind of wish those things weren't so separate, right? Like the medicine man and then the person you talk about your feelings with but we'll take down the medical industrial complex next time I'm on too many charge.

Feel free to dabble if you I know it's a conversation. But I feel like it's hard to get into the whole field of psychology saying like, I need help with something. Where do I start? There's a budget different branches of the tree. So yeah, I don't know how people go from like psychiatry to talk therapy to whatever specializes they're looking at too. But you're doing talk therapy. So what's that like right now? How is your like rapport with your therapist? Are they really good in some areas? Or not so much?

Yeah, I have really been enjoying her so far. And and I got really lucky because I went on Psychology Today, I typed in my health insurance and kind of just went speed dating with a couple different ones. And the reason I liked my current therapist L which is cool, because both our names or letters, but not. Yeah, so first sign really good. You have that in common. not uncommon, exactly. Um, she was really prompt and she answered my email right away. She scheduled a time and just called me at the time she said she was going to and like another person called me really late. And like, that's not a good look like, I'm looking for you to provide me a service. So you should like follow like the basic protocol of like being on time and stuff. So I really like I mean, they call you. They call you late in the day. What would you just like I'll call you at 315. And she actually called me at 315 for that initial constantly. Right? It's a constellation. Yeah.

Yeah. So she was just like, prompt with what she was promised exact gonna deliver at 315.

Yeah. And what's cool about her, she's actually a therapist for artists. Which,

oh, that's also pretty heaven in LA, but I feel like it's the ones I've seen in LA online. It's like super over the top where I'm like, I don't need this acting coach therapist. Sure. But I love the whole idea of it. Like I would love like someone who knows what creative people are like, and who struggles creative, creative people tend to go through because it's so different from like, regular business, say people.

I agree. Yeah, we've talked about this before, too. Like, you can wager so much of your self worth on what you produce or like, Oh, I didn't write today and I'm a writer, like Who am I if I don't do the thing, and luckily, that's not so much my problem. Don't worry, I have other problems. But she knows

during the pandemic, during the pandemic, everything's like heavier on creative people.

So many things have been taken taken away from Oh yeah, it sucks. Like I was doing shows, I think like every other night, like at least once a week. And like, that was a huge part of my life wrong. You know? Sorry, what you said? You do? You do improv and the sketches that I was doing. Yeah. improv and sketch comedy on stage. That's,

that's a lot of shows every other night.

Yeah, I mean, if it wasn't, I guess I'll say like, it was either like rehearsals or writers meetings, or really just like meeting up with friends from comedy. And that accumulates to you like having a better rapport on stage. So I consider that part of the journey, but I really miss it. I was really that's such a big part of my life. Yeah. You align chemistry with like, different people in the field, and it makes for a better show on? Absolutely. And I've been wanting to kind of get involved in the comedy scene, like, honestly, since I was like 13. So it was this like, huge dream of mine to just like, be in New York and just like, do the thing, like, be involved in the world, even if that didn't mean like, the star of everything, and everyone knows your name, like I kind of just wanted to be involved. They looked like they were having fun, and they've always looked like they're having me and I finally just got to do it. And I'm glad I kind of went down.

That's awesome. I mean, that's I feel like how you have to get into the scene, you just want to be in it to begin then like having fun as a great goal. You don't want to be the top of the playbill, or like the number one headliner even have to push Mark Marin out of the way or some like famous comedian. Exactly. It's good. It's good to be like humble about it.

Oh, yeah, that's me. No hubris on my end.

I like how everything sounds so fantastic. Coming out of your mind.

I know. I'm terrible. People really think I mean, I'm not mean I'm sorry. I just come off that way all the time. That is so my cross to bear Michelle.

I feel okay. We all have a cross. And then you write for reductionist? Do you do you write like headlines? Or do you how What's your relationship with rhodochrous? Because I love that website. Yeah,

me too. I've been writing for them for a little over two years. Oh, nice. Yeah, as a freelance, I freelance for them. So the way it works is that they take new writers once every season, so four times a year. And once you're in, like, when you submit your packet, and they accept you, you're in for life. And you get on the listserv, and every Tuesday they send you like the list of headlines that got kind of picked that week. So it's nice to get like a sneak peek of what's going to come on the website. But you can pitch every single week, you just have to pitch a minimum of 10 headlines. So usually, if I think of a headline, I'm like, Okay, I'm just gonna sit on that until I think of nine more. Yeah, that's fine. But yeah, it's a lot. It's 10 is a lot. And a lot of writing for a doctor's is just like, putting shit up against the wall and seeing what sticks, you know. So I have like, I'm sitting on so many rejected headlines, which is fine.

It's like the audience, but with like a feminist bent, I would say Yeah,

that's a great way to describe it. Um, I really like their ability to punch up and like they are really determined to punch up and like, they're just like, set on showing a woman's perspective. And even with the onion, you'll see headlines like area man does blah, blah, blah. And that's not really their style. Yeah, even like, if it's kind of this sub deprecating headline or like a truth in comedy headline, the focus is on women. And that's just like, not something really seeing overall and media, as I'm sure you know. And they're just determined to like, cut a little niche like that. And I was a reader for so many years. So it was really like one of my bigger accomplishments, comedy wise to start writing for them. I love them.

That's awesome. Yeah, I feel like reductor says more of like, let's get into the individual story. Whereas the onions like broader news topic we're attacking.

Yeah, I think it Tisha, for sure.

I do. appreciate how like humor websites can make something funny when it's just text. It's like that's really hard to pull off to do. headline blurb, that's the humor. There's no like video. There's no flashy, you know, montage going on. It's not very, it's not very modern day. It's kind of like old school now.

Yeah. It's hard to write headlines, because like, the joke has to be there. And it has to be clear immediately. And if people aren't laughing upon like a first scroll through like an Instagram headline, like, it's just not going to work. And it takes a lot of practice. I think you should write for them too. Michelle, you're funny.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah,

I was actually helping someone edit their packet yesterday. Oh, sweet. So I was thinking about it.

That's great. And I was like, Oh, this

is so much fun to like, it was so much fun to edit it I was like, I think I could write this. You know, I could write something similar. But yeah, that's similar to how like I got into comedy thinking of like writing funny. Humor stuff. Like I took a class that had a submit to McSweeney's, and the onion. And just just look at those different, like websites of people are getting paid money to make something funny online and like, you should try that for the class. So I think I got into it from like taking a class in college is that like, did you have some kind of like light bulb go off for you where you were like, I want to do comedy, and I want to do it all the time. Like, what made you want to do so much of your life devoted to comedy? Oh, man, I

comedy is truly one of my like, my favorite thing. I think it'll always be my favorite thing. And I know that's true, because that hasn't really changed since I've been little. And it's funny how I really just kind of dug in my heels. I think like the last three years, and I'm like, 27 now. But you know, purchase didn't have much of what I was looking for in terms of like improv and sketch, and I started writing for the late night show my senior year, which again, is pretty late. So it was nice to kind of just like finally like, put those I guess dreams so corny. I'm so earnest someone can kill me. But those like drops to the forefront. Um, but yeah, I've loved him. Thank you. Oh, my gosh, so COVID will do that to both of us. Um,

true. down the line. COVID 35.

Yeah. Did you ever see that tweet? That was like in 2021. The only jobs will be only fans Amazon or dead.

I can't believe so many fans skyrocketed in the pandemic. Like that's how everyone's doing a side hustle slash quitting their job. And I'm like, Oh, I'm only fans Amazon. And what was the last one was dead? Dead. Okay, so I choose only I think. three options. Dead is the is the ends there's nothing after that. Maybe? I don't know.

Yeah, that's my dark edge Lord comedy for you. I'm not being TVD

only fans. You can take pictures of your feet though. Like you get to really totally low effort, low effort things and make money.

Oh, yeah. It's the people's medium. We love that. If you aren't only fans, I love you. And I love you. Yeah, I'm so sorry, Michelle. I

forgotten entirely your feminism power. Exactly.

Got it so complicated. Um, no, it's good.

This is the comedy part of the podcast. So roll with it.

But I,

I don't think senior year is late. Like if you started full 100% improv sketch. You know, writing for doctors. If you did it all freshman year of college, you would have burnt out probably like, I know, you're right, one or two, one or two people who started from day one. And they're kind of like over it. Now. They're like, I've done that. I've been on TV. I'm like, as good as 11. Like, they kind of like have given up already. And they're 24. Now

what a humble brag already been on? What a good problem to have. Yeah, it's

like the child star who had a short run and

his young 20s Hmm, yeah, those child stars. So sad. Right. Can't get it together. Yeah, I think that's how I know I'm just like, genuinely passionate about it is like, this has always been on the back of my mind. Which is great. And I've been kind of doing stuff virtually now, in this new era, although kind of sparingly. It's not the same. And just enjoying kind of focusing on other things. But yeah, I've loved comedy and like, being funny since I was little, and I remember taking improv classes when I was 13. And being like, I don't think there's anything more fun than this. This rules. See, that's

that's your youngster? Yeah. 13 doing improv that's, you know, not a lot of kids do improv.

Yeah, agreed. And like, improv is really hard. And like, I've had so many bad shows, and it's cool. And that's fine. I have no shame.

It is really Yeah, I love seeing a good team perform, though. Like I feel like it's really hard to find people who, like you said are like, chemically in line with each other. They like know how to react to each other. They are confident on stage. You don't see that in like an amateur improv show.

No, you really don't. And like improv is so funny that way, because when it's good, it's like really transcendent. It's like, wow, that was amazing. That was so good. And when it's bad. Oh my god, it's so bad. It's so hard to watch straight up pain

before like they're there to support the show. Like usually someone you know, is in this. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, none of this is for accolades. It was like for fun and you'll meet a lot of people who are like, I'm not here to have fun. I'm here to like network, and that's just not my vibe.

I'm here to work on my people skills as a lawyer.

Yes, corporate job is real. And you know what, that's fine. I have no contention with improvisers who are like I'm going to make some money and teach a corporate workshop. And it's crazy like you'd be surprised like people really do not have the tools to to like, have basic methods of teamwork and like listen and collaborate with each other. It's really messed up and strange, especially now like, I know my social skills have like totally atrophied since the pandemic.

Same, like, I don't know, like, if you've noticed while we're talking, but I feel like I'm always like, so excited to talk to someone in the beginning because it's like, it's rare to talk to someone who's not a work colleague, you know, or like the people you live with. So totally, it's like, how do I talk to someone without seeming like way too crazy? Way too way too excited for the one on one hang time.

Oh, absolutely. And then,

yeah, with improv, I think I I've taken a couple of improv classes. I've always been nervous in the beginning. But then when I look around the room, I'm like, everyone here is not that good. Or they're also nervous. Like, why

am I Why am I stressing? Oh, am I not cool? Like if you're going to a show to be cool, like you pick the wrong place? Yeah, I remember, I was warming up for a show once. And like with my team, and we were like, whatever doing if you've ever played past the face, Michelle.

No, I don't think so fun.

So I make like a face and then you have to repeat the face and maybe heighten it a little bit and then pass it to the next person.

Oh, that's,

I think that's too advanced. For me. I think we were doing like, word games. Sure. Yeah,

all of it. All of it is straight up for children. But there was this other team performing that night. And someone like turned to us and was like, Oh, you guys still warm up? That's so cute.

Like what Ariana Grande a warms up like

everyone warms up. I should have said that. That's a perfect comeback. You know who else? Ariana Grande day? You better eat those words.

Yeah, how much she's you know how much she's worth like billions of

billions of dollars. You're not wrong. Yeah, it was. So like, why are you trying to flex on us right now? Like, we're playing pretend and we paid for it.

That's someone whose soul has withered and died and they're just like, why is your soul still going like just calling you out for having fun and like being professional?

Yeah, you're performing like it's okay to like, want to look nice and like be excited. It was always something to look forward to. Like at the end of the day, like, you guys got to embrace the cheese like, it's too late. Yeah, you have to train us. You

have to roll past me. You have to have fun. Yeah. I think that's for the best like people who are trying to be cool as adults let it go.

I know so sad, sad,

sad ship to run after Exactly. What do you see in your comedy life? Do you see like a correspondence to mental health? Like do you see? Not mental illness? Do you see like mental health themes in comedy or like in your own classes and troops and everything? Oh, for sure. I

mean, every other person in comedy is highly medicated. And in general, like comedians are bruised people. And I consider myself one of them. I mean, if you've been through the wringer, it's true. Yeah. And if you talk to a lot of people kind of like their Genesis story of comedy, they were like I was at a really low point. And I started doing something I thought would be fun. And now I'm like, performing every other week or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. Something hit you made you vulnerable or made you like, see how fragile life was. And you're like, I think

life is fragile. do comedy. That should be the tagline. Absolutely. I was

on the edge of a cliff and then I saw a microphone or like something pulled you back. Yeah, but it's true. Like I feel like a lot of people have this like do or die moment and they realize they have to do what they think is worth it in life.

Yeah. I mean, I love Jacqueline Novak. She's this great comedian. And I

yeah, she has the, like a long one woman show that came out.

Yeah, it's called Get on your knees. It's about blowjobs it rules. Yeah.

I think I heard about it. I think I saw a little bit of it at a comedy festival. But I've heard it was like, well, praise me. Yeah,

yeah. It's just very unique and like, obviously, really provocative and just like this interesting perspective on something that's like heavily intimate, even though it's like, constantly joked about and stuff. But she was saying she started getting into comedy because she did one of those artists way journals. And she wrote down like, yeah, would you do if you knew you could not fail? And she said she would wanted to start going into comedy. And I love that ice.

I have to keep reading the artists way I started it and stopped it. But Gabe called me his podcast. Yes, I did. Is that the artists way? Nice. I've been trying to do a lot of those like mental exercises because it does make you reflect really well and make you think like, this is what I want to spend time on. I only have one life How do I devote time to the thing I want to do?

Yeah, it seems really cool. I know. It's just like very ad looking. And I can't be earnest about anything. I have such an irony disease. And I'm like, that looks old and weird and I'm smarter than it. So I haven't picked it up. But it is around For more sweet, sensitive people like Gabe to do and for me to, you know, mock it.

It's more of a tool. It is like, it's a lot of like, you got to take what you can from it and not take it 100% Seriously?

Yes, exactly. I love I mean, I had an improv teacher who said that like, even with improv notes, like, take what you want, and then leave what you don't like, this is your, you're on your own mat. This is your yoga journey. Like,

this is not a strict Bible, just, you know, read it, throw it away, whatever.

Yeah, heavens, no, I mean, you're driving, right? Like you're in charge. I love that. And I use that to when I was more involved in theaters, it was just like, use the theater, don't let the theater use you. You don't want to constantly be saying I need to get on this house team or like, have these teachers at this theater like me and suck up to them. Like you're taking these classes for a reason. It's for your own self growth and self improvement, and whatever doesn't serve you. You don't have to do it like you're a paying customer. Honestly, when it comes down debt,

like you can do the assignments, do the exercise, but you don't have to do that thing ever again. Yes, you had that one second

in class, that's rad about being an adult. So choose your own adventure.

That's so true. So you think there's a lot of damaged people in comedy? As I I agree, I feel like we're all broken in some way. Whether or not it's like outwardly showing. Do you think like the way you do sketch and improv, is that like a healing cathartic thing for you? Or how does that relate to like, mental health for you?

Yeah, um, well, I genuinely really expressive, I feel like I can be very expressive on stage. I have a Leo moon. So I express myself through being a ham. And that's just like, for me, personally, all

of this. All of the zodiac moons are over my head. But I'll, I'll try to get from what you're saying what it means. Yeah,

got it. You went to SUNY Binghamton, you know, how to cultural how to, like, critically think and unpack? Absolutely, I believe in you. Um, so a moon is like how you express what's inside.

It's not representative of Long Island, but it's representative of something in the celestial sphere.

Exactly. We have to think bigger, faster, stronger than Long Island, because Long Island will be ignorant every time.

Like, what? What motto? Is that bigger, faster, stronger?

I don't know. Probably something with sports, right? But I Franklin squared, New York

some competitive of our hometown. But I digress. Leo mood. Tell me for all the lay men out there. What does that mean?

Um, so the I mean, I also could be describing this in a way that's not 100% correct to cancel me for a second time. But a moon is like how you express what's going on inside and that can be different from like, how you are emotionally. So an emotion is like one thing that how you express an emotion or express yourself is another thing and usually a moon Express like describes that for you. So my main sign is a cancer so I'm have a squishy center and like a big jokey brain. And it can be very sensitive. I love to like Nast and be really maternal I like I'm the mom friend and dopey. And then like I'm also just like the one who's always doing karaoke and getting on stage and like volunteering to be in a talent show, which is stupid, because adults shouldn't be intelligent. But yeah, I love being onstage like that was never a problem for me. I think like learning improv, I wasn't like, people are gonna look at me. I'm like, that's fine. Like, face the audience. Some people don't even know how to do that. Which is fine. You should take an improv class.

Yeah, making eye contact very hard. Yeah,

it is very hard for people. It takes a practice like anything else. But I feel like, as of late, like after I kind of learned the basics of improv. I tried to always play characters that were a little more multi dimensional. I wasn't very good at playing like vulnerable characters. I had improv coaches Tell me like your character is always put together and they always know what to do. And that's because I always like wanted to portray like strong women. And I'm kind of like not afraid to call people out on stage. Like I was in the show once and someone was playing like, like a gym rat. And they're like, well, you have a nice form. And immediately I was like, don't comment on my body. And shirt like, don't comment on women's bodies like, and don't.

Like don't objectify

during my special show. Yeah. And like, I'm just like, not really afraid to say things like that. And the beauty of improv is like, you say it like if you feel sad, you can say I feel sad and like we don't do that in real life, which is a bummer. But we were kind of able to take the scene from there and like, portray, like the reality Use of like trying to navigate a gym space as someone who has like body issues and it ended up being a pretty funny and like good scene from what I remember.

That's pretty interesting too. Because the way the other guy saying like you have a nice body, it seems more like oh, we know where this is going. Like she's gonna love it or she's gonna hate it and like he'll face the backlash, but then body issues like a different kind of scene that I would be way more interested in seeing.

Yeah, I think so too. And I think people misinterpret like that. Yes. And model of improv, which is super important. But I think like, a more basic move would have been like, Yeah, I like yours, too. We both like each other's bodies, like it's more important to just be really truthful. And like, respond genuinely, is the best thing you can do. It really gets the laugh at that time. It's surprising.

That's Mexico, more vulnerable and strong character, because you're saying like, Don't say that about my body, protecting your body, but also like, put putting down someone objectifying the body. So you're doing both?

Yeah, yeah. And like, maybe a coach would have said, like, Oh, that was a negation. Like, who knows? I can't remember really, if I even said anything, but little stuff like that. I feel like that's important to me as like a woman on stage. I've been, I don't write as much. But when I did write sketches, mostly I was just writing with friends and for a friend shows, always punching up, which is like the person in power should be the butt of the joke, as opposed to like a person who is marginalized in society. And reductive is great at that, right? They're always punching up. And at this point, because I've been doing, like sketch and improv for a minute, last year, I started directing this awesome workshop that the magnet Theatre in New York put up, which is, it's called Moxie. And it's a free like nine week course, with only women, non binary and trans comedians. And you learn how to write a sketch and then you put up a show together at the end of the workshop. And I was actually like a member like I signed up to do it in 2000. I think 18. And then, last year, I did it, but we didn't get to put it. Hey, Oh, go ahead.

Sorry. Okay, my Alexa is go now. Sorry, later. Oh, that's good. You're doing Moxie with non binary, trans and women, identifying people. And you're directing? What are you directing a sketch show? Yeah,

it's all accumulates in a sketch show. And it can be a pretty big workshop. Last year was actually smaller than we usually got. It was like 80 participants, but in the past, it's been like a little under 200. And it's just a space where you can like, try stuff out in a room that's safe, and just be really encouraged and supported. And it's a space designed for if you're new to it, you can come to it, and be supported and like meet people meet like minded people. And yeah,

I remember like that stuff is so vital to like our craft our communities. Because I know you can't create this fake world where it's all like it's not the straight white male in dominance, but like to have space for like women, trans non binary people, it's really important so they can feel safe and can like experiment without saying like, I'm afraid of like, what this straight white dude is gonna say after Yeah,

exactly. That can be such a turn off, right? Like, I'm sure if you experienced that, and not only in comedy, and like, literally everywhere. Yeah, but this was years ago, like I remember I tried to like do this sketch thing at UCB back when I was in college. And I would like try to take the hike over the way to the train and get to the get to UCB because I was living on campus, which is far from the city. And I remember it being really inhospitable. And I didn't like it. And I kind of like left after like, the first week. This was some I forget even what it was called. But I remember thinking like, I kind of wish this was available to me, or at least I knew about it when I was like young and loving comedy and just wanted to be like all my favorite people on SNL and my favorite people doing stand up and like those, like cool, like all Brooklyn spaces, that seems like so fun and welcoming. And then sometimes when we get there and invite Yeah, sometimes when you get there, it's not warm and inviting. So that's been like a really important space for me. Yeah, to like,

most of the time. Yeah, let's like you are at a UCB, a second city like something where it's like someone's being paid to make the place warm and inviting. Maybe it's good. But the typical comedy room, it's like, dark smells. No one's there because they're having fun. It's like, it's always like a place of sadness. At least like when you're when you're starting out.

Totally. Yeah. And like, that's not the kind of work I want. Like, I just want to put up work that makes people feel less alone. Like that's the only especially like marginalized people like young women in particular, like 30 rock got me through high school. I loved watching that show and like looking back on it 30 rock. Fantastic and like it's so doesn't age well, there's so many parts of it we should be critical about. But like, I just remember that that's all my peers comedy.

Yeah, comedy doesn't age. Well, comedy is very in the moment. And so like you have to rock like, roll with it in the moment. I mean, Tina Fey is taken down a bunch of the episodes too, I think. Yeah. Someone's blackface.

I mean, there was they did blackface four separate times. That is completely unacceptable. That's one Oh, my God, like, we should totally be critical of that. And she's right to take them down like, and she knew it was wrong when she probably first did it. Like we really have to hold her accountable. But in general, just the idea of like, Liz lemon, like betting on a bag of bras on eBay, like that's someone who's relatable and like, in high school, everyone was watching like the OC and like, Gossip Girl, and I guess I watched those shows sometimes, but really, I was just like, I love Liz lemon. Like I love watching her have a cool job and like be struggling kind of like I feel like I am

Yeah, just like kick ass in this male dominated world where Alec boss the head of Jeannie. She's great in that show. And also like I fell off those See, I don't think I really got into God Gossip Girl because they were so unbelievable. That these rich kids had everything everyone wanted them. They got into Ivy League schools and it's like they never go to school. They like fuck around online go and like, look into the ocean. They don't do anything better time.

They sit on like they're all beautiful. Every side. Yeah.

They can model Abercrombie and Fitch or whatever. But Liz lemons, a real person where you're like, Oh, I can like learn from her journey. I can see the comedy in this. Yeah, if it's from from a prior time period, and you're like, I don't know if all those jokes hit in 2021. I admire that show. For sure. I love Tina Fey. I feel like her memoir. Her story is really like, this is a woman who started with nothing works at the YMCA. Yeah. And claimed to be a head writer on SNL.

Oh, yeah, like super cool. Um, I definitely look up to her. She's one of my favorites. But even just like women not being afraid to like, look bad and like, be silly. is so fun. Like, we don't play as adults. And it was it's just like fun to put up sketches where you have to be like a drunk bridesmaid on the for train. Like, I can't think of anything more fun than that. That's fun to me. And like having Yeah, having like other women, like, who worked like these corporate jobs, like come to this comedy workshop with me on Saturday afternoons. Like, that was definitely where I wanted to be comedy wise before COVID.

Yeah, I think that's awesome that you're creating that space for people. Are you like, Did you say you're directing it? Do you have like, co director? How long have you been doing?

Yeah, well, last year, we actually didn't get put to put up our shows because they were supposed to go up in March and early April. Now I know. But we had a worse time. Yeah, the way the workshop works is that you're putting a group with three directors, just because the groups are so big. It's about like 20 plus people in a room. So I worked with two co directors on that one. And I'll get two different co directors for this next round that's coming up. I don't know who they are yet. And the way it works is you really focus on writing for the first many weeks of the workshop because like a good show, has the basis of good writing. And then the fun part is picking the sketches and casting and rehearsing and then putting it all up and it's supposed to be kind of messy. It's sketch like, it's not fine art. It's like get knocked over the head with the joke. And that's fine. Like clarity is great.

Yeah, I'm sure a lot changes, like from one performance to the next.

Yeah, they get to put up I think two to three shows. But this time, we're doing it all virtually. So we'll pre record everything and then stream it on Twitch.

So that's cool. Your your new microphone will come in handy.

I know. Right? I'm ready. I'm prepared.

That's awesome. So

are you are you writing with it? Also, like do you write the sketches, um, as a director, people bring in their sketches and you note them and really just like the fundamentals of sketch writing, which is like bringing in an idea and then that's the best part is just like sussing it out in the room. Like, being in a writers room is so fun. Yeah, because you can come in with like a half idea. And then, like, suss out what the beats the sketch might look like, with like funny people. And I feel like that's such an easier way to write than less thinking of something in your own head, like alone in a room. Like, it's super collaborative. Yeah,

were you were you probably like I usually write alone. So I feel like you spend a lot of time with something you perfected and then it turns out like, it's like half baked anyway. You're like, it's so good. It's It's probably so much more productive to write in a room with other comedy people exactly.

And it's really vulnerable to bring in like, I think I have this idea, like, Let's read it out loud. So I really applaud everybody who comes in and has people read their stuff out loud. It's not the easiest place to be in. But it's really the only way you get better if this is what you really want to do.

That's so cool. So did you did you do it before 2020? Or was that the first year the first year I

directed it was 2020. And then I'll be doing it again this year. And I was a participant in 2018. And then in 2019, I remember I didn't do it, because by that point, I kind of taken off and like I had an indie sketch team, and I was on a sketch team at the magnet theater. So I was kind of just like too busy for it, but coming back and like having this new position, and it was really full circle. It was really fun. But that's just one example of like, just kind of where I want to be is just sharing the wealth of something that I like to do combined with my feminism.

Yeah, it sounds like a good philanthropic way.

Exactly. My volunteer hours.

giving back to the community like what you have gained from it. And also like being like, I'm a woman, I want to create a safe space for other women, other marginalized people. I know in in LA, I really seek out like, female curated, stand up venues. Oh, yeah, my ex just because, because I'm like, Oh, it's so it's a woman only mic. That means like, people will laugh. And they like what, they won't take too long to get there. Like they you know, they understand where I'm coming from. So it's nice to have that similar mental space where people are like, No, no, we get it. Like you don't have to explain for 30 minutes, we

get it? Yes, I couldn't agree more. Yeah, it's there's something really special women around you so special about like, and I know people like kind of pushback on the gender exclusive spaces. But I think it's great that you just have time with people who understand your specific struggles. And ideally, those spaces would be opened up to like, trans folks or non binary folks. Because those experiences are different from like my being assessed woman and like, assist white woman at that, right. So this project is just one of many that like, ideally, you just create the space and a therapy does that to boom tie in and your two themes. Therapy is just creating that space.

They totally go together. Because I know for me, like going to a women's only open mic. It's it's like this is a safe space where you can say whatever you want, and no one's gonna like, kind of boo you in, you know, with their eyes or whatever. And if men are allowed to come they have to understand like, this is a no rape joke, is like you have to be at least presenting gender equality can't like just be shitting on your ex girlfriend for like these stupid rules. Yeah,

seriously, we know this crazy ex girlfriend stereotype like, we know that you're in the wrong, they're like, I doubt your ex girlfriend is crazy. I'm sure you were just treating her like shit, like so boring. So boring. Like, give me something.

on Netflix, you'll like I'll see a special on Netflix of some, you know, they could be as famous as Chris Rock, not saying this is Chris Rock, it could be that level or they could be lesser than, like a less famous person, they can be saying some stereotype about their ex girlfriend and they seem so pissed and so angry. None of it's funny. So, like, those are the people who should be also going to therapy and like working out the shit with a therapist and also going to comedy separately. While they are related, you should do both of them. Oh, yeah,

I've had that thought to saying stand ups. Just be like, I feel like you should just be having a conversation with your therapist. Like there are no jokes here. This is just a rant of thoughts. And that's fine. Like, it's just not comedy, like comedy is effort and work and like memorization and writing like, and that's it. People make it look easy constantly.

Like when you're constantly like, what's it called catering to the audience being like, no, this is totally fine. Like, I don't mean what I'm saying. Like, I'm really over it.

I'm not.

This is not true. It's like, are you over? Yeah, you seem like you haven't separated that emotion totally.

But it's it's hard because you, you want to write about stuff you are vulnerable about you are going through, but you have to make it funny at the same time and separate that hard emotion.

Yeah. And like, I think it was Cameron Esposito who said this, but she's like, if your art is like punching down, it's just propaganda. And using a term that strong like really makes you think of like, you're right, like, this is a really serious art form. And like comedies like anything else, there's bad versions of it. There's a lot of bad writing out there and the good version should make you like transcend the pain and like laugh about it which is so special and like such a special part of the human experience to like fuck that up deliberately. I'm just so bored with you like, what a dole man, so many of them.

Yeah, and you know women do it's like, I just don't see it that often but also there's not a lot of women making it onto Netflix. So who knows, but I'm just saying, we're all here to see comedy. It's hard to keep it comedic and not bring down whoever wronged you in the butt. Do you have any comedic inspirations like Who do you look up to? Who do you try to like, follow in the footsteps of when you're when you're doing your sketching your improv stuff?

Yeah, um, that is such a fun question. I mean, I feel like I love everybody. I love the women of SNL, Julio Torres puts out continually fantastic stuff. I love Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers. They're my favorite comedic duo right now. Go tabora has that

last culture? He

said, yeah, that's my favorite podcast. I listened really religiously. It's so fun to me.

They're funny.

Yeah. Just like really like the Brooklyn alt scene kind of before everything went crashing down. I thought was really fun.

Yeah, those shows that like are in lofts or like warehouses.

Yeah.

Scattered throughout Brooklyn.

Yeah. Like, there's a lot of like, musical comedy. That's really fun. Like, I think Larry Owens is just God's gift to man. He's so funny. Um, Katherine Cohen, I think can be a real hit. With like, millennial problems, and like, relatability she's really great at that. Although sometimes I don't always like agree with their politic. But that's okay. Um, yeah,

that's life.

I think in general, a lot of people I admire really just like kind of are doing the thing that I was doing, which is just doing improv with friends and seeing what happened. Which is really fun. And let's like the whole say, yes, part of the improv, like mode of thinking was just like, all of a sudden, you have this network, just because you said, I will take that class, and I will join your indie thing. And I will write for your late night show, you're filming on YouTube, stuff like that. And that was just the plan just to continue and see where it led me. But I think what's interesting about this time is that I can pivot a little bit and see what else outside of comedy makes me excited. Probably even about comedy more. You only get to be a better comedian, if you like, learn more things because you have to know things to subvert them. And that's what comedy is. And

that's been like the strange gifts of the time period is you can have a little bit more time to think and be like, Where do I want to go next? Like what am I doing with my life right now? And you got more like time for reflection? reflection in the pandemic?

Yeah. Reflecting we America was just sitting in its room thinking about what it's done. Like, that's been a whole year. What a strange and terrible year. But yeah, I was just listening to Phoebe Robinson to author her name in there. I love her.

She's Yeah, right. Do you find it easy to like, say no to stuff or like, choose what projects you want to take on? And how do you balance that with working a day job?

Yeah, well, this is brings up therapy a little bit, too, because I told my therapist, I was approached to do Moxie again. And at first I was like, I don't know, I don't know if I want to be on zoom. Like, it's not the same. I kind of just feel bombed. And what's great about my current therapist is like, she'll just give me advice. And my former therapist was like, Well, why do you think you asked me if you want advice? She's like, No, you should do. Which is great, which is super pragmatic and fun. Um,

that kind of cuts to the chase way fast. Yeah, you're like, oh, the professional things. I should do that. Maybe I should just try it.

Exactly. Um, yeah, I think right before locked down, I was actually thinking of cutting back doing shows and stuff anyway. But I was at the point where I was like, I really just want to do stuff with friends. I think I'm done. taking classes. Like with all the friends I've made from classes, I'd like just to work together and put stuff up that's really unique and help like, kind of support other people's visions.

Especially when you have that, that network in place where you're like, oh, everyone's doing stuff, why not just collaborate for now?

Yeah, that's the best just like making stuff with friends is totally the best. So I'm doing that. And then I also just signed up for this all virtual sketch team, again, with like, the advice of my therapist of like, we're going to be in quarantine for a while, just try the thing that made you happy a year ago and see how it feels. And you can always kind of circle back after doing a season and see if you want to do it again. So I think I'm just less precious right now, which is fun. And in terms of balancing things with a day job, like you really have to treat your job like you can't afford to lose it because you can't and luckily for me, I really love my job. That's good advice. Yeah, really. I'm funnier with health insurance. That's just a fact. Like, I know some people don't have it very privileged on the,

the Maslow hierarchy where you're like I have my needs taken care of and I can think about other stuff now. Absolutely. Yeah.

And like Luckily, that's usually when shows happen is that night so between the hours of nine and five, I am not doing anything. No, no bookings. Although I use the printer at work a lot to print out sketches.

That's I think that's just like economically savvy. Oh, yeah. smart thing to do.

Good. Thank you for your approval. I love that. Yeah,

I'm blanking on his comics name, but someone has a bit. This asian guy open for Ali Wong has a bit about you should print everything at work. Have a printer in your?

Yeah, let me know if yes, you might have heard that is that's funny.

That's a perk of having a job. His name will probably come to me like 10 minutes or get a good bit about, you know, when you have to learn something. comedically you do not print it out unless it's out.

Yeah. But yeah.

Is there anything? I want to spend some roulette wheel questions, but is there anything you want to say about like, the positivity of going to therapy just to like, promote it? For people who haven't tried therapy? Or might be like reluctant about it?

Yeah. I mean, if anything I would have started earlier. And luckily, I feel like, I used to live in Brooklyn, like I live in a space where people like, are drunk and talk to you about the therapist on like, a rooftop. Like, it's cool to have therapists now, which is really privileged of our group of friends or whatever. But in general, like having an hour away, just for yourself. Yeah, exactly. is like, that's not a lot of time. It's not a lot of time at all, like, take it take this, but it feels so good. Just to be like, no, this is 100% mine. And you'd be surprised like how that quote unquote, selfishness during that time, it's just like, helps you relax. And really, sometimes when something bad happens to me, or you know, whatever, I can be like, Okay, I'm gonna pack this away, and I'll talk about it in therapy on Friday. And that really helps like, I'm not gonna put this away, like I have to move on, but I'm not going to let it go. Like, I'm really going to take the time to digest that. That's my plug for therapy.

That's so well rounded and healthy. I love it. Because you, you're right. It's like such little time you're devoting to yourself anyway. Why? Why not take advantage of that, especially if you feel like you need it. And to have something heavy happen to you and not repress it for the rest of your life. Such a healthy outlet.

We're living in a dentist's go to therapy. It is all good. There are no rules. There's so much of it available. I

love how you mentioned Psychology Today, because that's where I i've been like shopping therapists lately. And that's where I've been looking just like who takes my insurance? That's something I can afford. I will Yeah, go on a few like dates with a therapist and see who's a good match.

Yeah, it's fun. It's better than real day. Yeah. Nothing's a mess.

I mean, you get to talk about your shit. So like, either way you're getting something.

Totally.

Yeah, you don't have to pay for someone's taco appetizer. It's it's a win. Oh, God. I don't know. Okay, so this is just like, light hearted. random questions. I think we have time for like a couple. So I'll give you a spin. Okay, okay. Travel.

Okay, hold on one second. Michelle. I am getting a call it Okay, hold on. Okay. I'm back. You're good. We're good. Everything's good.

Okay, you have to take a second.

I don't I'm gonna cancel a project when we hang up, because that's what I have to do. Where would you go? Okay.

I'll try to remind you if you need remind. Thank

you. Yeah, we can cut all of that out. And we can spin again if you need to.

Yeah, for sure. Do you want to stick with travel or you want to spend again,

what is the wheel? Can you explain the wheel to me?

So cute. So it's like, very light hearted, like money, travel health, just like where you're at in that area of your life. There's a couple. There's a couple weird ones, but it's mostly like basic stuff. Okay. So I just spent on it. I say hey, Kay, where's the last place you traveled to? Or where would you like to travel to once we're out of the pandemic? Now? We just hear your thoughts like a riff on it for a few minutes. Oh,

okay. Well, why don't we spin again because travel is non existent.

I know it's hard. It's it's good in like pre 2020. Okay.

Oh, this is such a good we'll Michelle. If the listeners can Yeah, man

from Jeff Bezos. Okay. landed on travel again. I'll spin again for you.

We can't travel wheel. I know people are but I

know oh my god the people traveling right now I'm judging them.

I don't get it.

Especially like I know these people in exotic islands and like what Where are you? Like, are you on st Barts with Chrissy Teigen. Otherwise, what are you doing? I

know, right?

It landed on obsessed. So tell us something you've been obsessed with. It can be good, bad. It's probably on the internet. Tell us Sure. Oh, this

is such a fun one. Michelle. Okay, so me and Gabe watched the other night. It's on Netflix. It's called Nate a one man show. Yes, it's Have you seen it? Oh my god. I've been looking for someone who's seen it because I loved it. It was truly one of the best things I've seen. I still marriage so provocative. Like, it made me think really stupid things like art is really cool. Like,

art can have a message like it's very mean to oriented message. Yeah. Not and not at all preachy.

Yeah, it's like, sunk into the gray areas of even like performance itself. You heard it here first. And of consent culture and of just like, being a woman on stage, like, she was this comedian, and she played this character neat. And like she was topless the whole time because her character had a shirt off. And like Netflix did not censor the nipple. But even that this woman is topless. I

watched with Joseph and he was like, he's like, you could see her boobs. And I was like, there's no way those are her boobs. Like there's for sure, like makeup on or something. And I denied it for a long time. And I was like, no,

yeah, I remember thinking that too. Like, oh, maybe it's a prosthetic. It was not. Um, and she's just so talented. Like, she was really good at like the commedia dell'arte of like, playing multiple characters. And like, that's what like a good actor, like you don't need a lot on stage like you can make you can make us feel for you and make thing come to life just with your body. And she absolutely did that. And I've been telling people, you have to watch it, but don't watch it with your parents, like don't watch with people who are sensitive. Honestly, there was no trigger warning to it. And maybe there should have been, but it talks about, like consent culture, and like the gray areas of what consent can and can't look like. And its audience participatory. Like I must have been a real trip being in the audience. Right. Can you imagine?

I wonder what they told that audience before they want. Yeah, I wonder that. Like, there's a handful of people who get called up in half, and they have like a participant role in the show. And they like touch this half naked woman. Yeah. And I'm like, how did what did they know going in? I

want to know, unless you Yeah, I mean, the show starts with her groping people in the audience. Like it goes there. In a way that was really cool with permission. Yeah, but it like it also unpacked, like, permission at its most basic level is not enough, which is like scary for people to hear. But like, we don't have these conversations. Like I thought she just did a phenomenal job. And if you want to watch something that really just makes you think and really makes you laugh, like her improv skills were so honestly, like, I watched it and I was like, man, like, I really need to be better at my physical stuff. She's so in the moment and like, She's so good at playing characters. Like it really made me inspired to like be a better performer like as well.

That's so cool. That's a rave review.

It's a rave review. And I am such a hater. I'm so critical. Like I don't like the things that everybody likes like such a bummer. And then this one thing well this is definitely

an all production Yeah, it's so off the cuff. I think Amy Poehler has some kind of hands in it. I think she's

Yeah,

I think she's produced the Netflix show and I think she like saw the stage show and really liked it

because she's in the beginning like saying like something about it. Yeah. But yeah, it totally is not like anything else out there there is nudity there is a prosthetic dick sure is definitely go see it.

Oh, yeah. And like it just wasn't a Yeah, like it was um, and I think a lot too about how the right is always like liberals are so sensitive. Like you can't say anything around them. Like this show was like quote unquote, woke and like kind of lefty but it like went there. Like it said things that your quote not supposed to say. But it did it in a way that was really like, yeah, like it was really uncomfortable. And like, she reminded me of all the artists I like studied in college. Like she's like, carolee schneemann of our time, like she rolls I really liked her.

Nice. Yeah. I kept wondering about the character. She's playing his backstory being like, what has Nate gone through?

Yeah,

we will get to this point.

Yeah, exactly. I keep saying her Michele, and I'm not saying her name was The name of the actor lol I

don't know. Do you want to look it up real quick enough

real quick because I feel like I'm not saying her name. Give her the credit.

She got a shout out on hoo ha ha. About like one of the top comedy performances this year so I think she's getting recognition.

Yeah, her name is Natalie Palamides. 

Okay, I'm Natalie Palamides

Yeah. And she did like UCB stuff to it like, LA, which is awesome.

Yeah. I don't know. For sure if it was filmed at UCB, but it looks like you So does it. Okay. 

Yeah, I

was wondering where that was. I think

it's UCB Franklin out here. Gotcha.

Very cool. Yeah, I was like gonna say she won the same like award for like, our and public service that Pussy Riot did a couple years ago. Okay. Yeah. So away. Yeah. Right. So it's kind of similar like, reclaiming, like pussy right was so cool. Because I like reclaimed like punk rock, which is normally like white guys being like, the man. It's like, no, this can be used to like rebel against an authoritarian Russian government. How do you feel that that's very similar with like, the

world or other things? That's so cool.

Yeah, give Natalie all the credit. Because when I was watching that, I was like, this is a, I don't know, you probably did something similar. Like you see yourself as the performer. Oh, yeah.

You're hearing her our

show. It's hard. I

didn't like putting that on every night.

I know. Like just putting your body on the line. It's just like, people just think you can just be an actor. It's like, that's a fucking actor right there. Like, she's, she's in the trenches. She's working really hard. And it was so funny. Like, I laughed so much and like a deep, perfect way. Like, Michele, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with it. It's so good.

It was great shock value and also like, Great like, standpoint on gender. This woman is playing a man with fake body hair. And I don't know, you can see the effort she put in. It's very smart. Go watch Nate on Netflix.

Totally made a one man show get there.

Let's give you one more random question. Okay.

You know, I love to talk.

Let's keep getting into it on health. How is your health?

How could it be better? Oh, my health? Um, well, I've been watching a lot of intuitive eating tic tok. And that's a cool sentence. 

What is that? 

I know, right. I'm so strange. So intuitive eating is like, it's like an anti diet mindset. And it was kind of created by people who were like helping folks out of eating disorders. Get back in tune with their body. Right? So if you have an eating disorder, you're probably really out of whack of like, I don't even know if I'm hungry. Like I've kind of fucked up my hunger signals signals, because I've repressed them, or I've said that they were bad or like, taking up space and eating is bad, like in some aspects of eating disorders, right. And that's not just like anorexia. It could be like binge eating, or just like eating at odd intervals, or just like having a shitty relationship with food. And a lot of women in particular have shitty relationships with food.

Yeah, because you've totally turned off any natural relationship you had exactly. Controlled it in some like, dictator regimen. Like no food for me. No, food is the only way.

Yeah, and like a diet culture is such a bummer. Like diet culture is just like everything that they say is a load of crap. Yeah, just trying to erase culture and history and our self esteem. It sucks. But intuitive eating is like, oh, what does it feel like to be hungry? What does it feel like to be satisfied? What does it feel like to make a meal for myself and like put my body into something that's going to come back and nourish my body. So these tech talks are like quick one minute videos. And one of the people I love the most Her name is like I am I own I think my name is Ayana. She cooks a meal and like shows you like the quick little videos of her cooking the meal and says like diet culture, I'm making cookies like diet culture, demonize cookies, even though cookies were first invented in the 1800s. And they've been used in celebrations and baked goods, and they're used all around the world. And yet diet culture says You shouldn't have them. Well, we're gonna eat one today. And cookies have been a part of culture since a very long time. You can't just erase them or demonize them because they're part of like the world we're in and like a really beautiful way. And I've been thinking about food that way a lot. And in core, we've been cooking a lot. I've been trying to eat really plant based. I've been trying to eat really intuitively, in a way that makes me happy and full. And sometimes that means like a lot of vegetables and tofu but other times I like eat ice cream and like have a nice night with my mom. Like those things are entwined. I shouldn't make you happy. So I feel like health wise, a lot of cooking and eating in a really mindful way.

Like intuitively you can say this night is about sweets or like a celebration and ice cream and cookies are totally welcome tonight.

Yeah, and like there's no such thing as bad food. Like they're trying to get rid of the mindset of like, those are no no foods, like all food is food. And once you stop putting a stigma on food, you have this less, like really contentious and really damaging relationship with it. Because then you're probably more likely to like, Oh, that's pie. That's a bad food. I'm not going to eat it. And then when all your family leaves, you eat an entire pie, and then you hate yourself. That's a bad idea. Like

you have to like, shame eat the pie.

Yeah.

It's so sad. Like, Oh, my God, everyone has such a damaged relationship with food. And I feel like this is a small step for me to be like, I'm gonna try to improve my relationship with food a little bit.

That's great. I had no idea this kind of content was on Tick tock, tick tock has everything. Oh

my god. It's crazy, does it? Oh, yeah.

I am still that old person who hasn't opened or downloaded the app. So

Oh, yeah. quarantine it for sure. suck

me in with intuitive eating.

I recommend it. I really do.

If there's health on there, you know, I mean, there's comedy and I'm like intimidated by the comedy but the health could teach me something. Exactly. Yeah, I've

gotten a lot of recipes from tik tok, which is great, because when you look at a recipe online, it's like, here's a long story about my handsome son Mason and will always remember 911 like when you get to the Rockies. Oh my god, it's so annoying. Like Tick Tok is just like, boom, give me the video. Give me the ingredients in a screenshot so much easier. I can't go back. Let's

cut to the chase.

Let's cut to the chase. It's so noxious.

The recipes are really driving me crazy. I think I have to like write, I have to be that person writing out the recipes by hand or cutting them out to get rid of the blog post before it something has to change. I know this like, I don't need to know about Mason, I can just you know, I'm better off without him.

It's crazy. In my mind. Okay, we're

at the test.

We are aware Oh by dude.

I know it was so much fun talking to you. You're very funny. Gabe really has a lot to compete with in the household. Now let us know where to find you online if you want to promote anything.

Oh, well do I one of my core projects was finishing my website so you can find so much about me on kay mollica.com. How easy is that? 

it looks great. 

Thank you. Yeah, it was fun to make.

I was checking it out yesterday, you have a cute intro to who you are and all the projects you're doing.

That's right. And I'm doing some voiceover stuff in quar. So if you have a project and need a melodious voice of a 27 year old who sounds like they're 12 you know where to find me.

And you've got a good range.

It's all about the range. You gotta show the range.

Do you want to plug your Twitter or social?

Yeah, sure thing I am everywhere at Kay mollica. So it's Q-U-E and then my last name M-O-L-L-I-C-A. All right. We'll

find you, Kay. this is so great. Thanks for chatting with us. 

Thank

you so much for having me. This was a blast. 

Likewise. 

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year. 

This has been Therapy Roulette: consent to vent. If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe. leave a review if you can and tell your friends. I'll be back with a new episode next Thursday.

Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you don’t have problems, then you’re likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Who’s not me)


Intro - Hypocrisy in D.C. and a new therapist
Interview w/ Kay Mollica