How to Be Your Best Self in a Relationship w/ Harrison Thompson

Michele spills about her latest therapy session and how she’s doing with anxiety and depression. She might start a political career someday or she might find a writing agent in Hollywood. Or both!

Today’s guest is Harrison Thompson, a cognitive behavioral therapist who specializes in relationships. Harrison talks about running a therapy practice in the Bahamas, seeking therapy for himself, the rewards of helping challenging clients, parenting a new baby, being a good husband and partner for his family, being present, and the pillars of being your best self in a relationship. 

He and Michele also discuss how the pandemic has disrupted navigating relationships and how we now have to micromanage displaying love and affection. He talks about mental health stigmas in the Bahamas surrounding counseling and how he first started his therapy career with a series of online comedy skits!

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Transcript

Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you don’t have problems, then you’re likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Who’s not me)

Hey, welcome back to a new episode of Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent. My name is Michele Baci, and this week, I talked to my new therapist on the phone. This time, we did not have our session in the car. From my end, I did not have the car available, because my boyfriend was out running an errand and we have one car. So to still get some privacy, I took a walk around the neighborhood and talk to my therapist with the phone in my hand, because I don't have any air pods. And it was nice. I felt like a little overwhelmed with walking and talking about therapy for 15 minutes. In the beginning, like it was, it was like it was panting a little bit. I was like, Oh, I have to prove I'm in shape, and keep talking about my problems. And then on the phone at some point, it said, Oh, I'm sorry. It's loud. There's like, you know, motorcyclists trying to prove how cool they are. And people mowing their lawn. And I was like, I'm sorry. It's flat and walking. And she said, Oh, you're getting some exercise. That's good. I said, Yeah, I'm doing something. She's really nice. I like this therapist, and really lucky that I found her and grateful. She asked me, how's your anxiety? And I said, I think it's okay. And she said, Why don't you journal on it? And let me know next time. Because I feel like I have persistent daily anxiety about a lot of things in my life. But it's not crippling. And it's not like a panic attack or an anxiety attack necessarily. So it's in control, but it helps to talk about it. And the fact that she asked me to journal on it, I was like, Oh, I love journaling. I could totally do that. So I'm excited to do the homework she gave me. She also said, How is your depression going? And I said, I guess it's okay. Cuz I haven't been thinking about it. As much lately. I feel like I was wallowing in depression for a while, a few months ago, especially when the fall started. And then the winter started. I was like, why is COVID still going on? What is the point of anything anymore. But now that we're in this new year, Joe Biden is our president. I feel a little bit more hopeful about the future. Although it still sucks to like, be in quarantine. Doing this COVID life. It could be worse. Bless you, Joseph.

So yeah, my depressions at bay is that very term, it doesn't feel too bad. It just feels like, again, like a daily gray cloud that I'm carrying around, mostly circumstantial, because I can't travel home to see my family, I can't travel period, I can't really leave my apartment. And that just sucks. And I feel stir crazy. But I mean, we're all kind of in that boat. So at least I know, I'm not alone. And before I jumped on the phone with my therapist, I thought, Oh, I wonder what I'll talk to her about, I didn't have like an intention, necessarily just to say, Oh, I did this. And this. Like the homework, she gave me last time, just things that she wanted me to look into, or things she wanted me to do. And I thought a lot about like my job trajectory and my career path. And she said, you know, what, if you want to go more into politics, or what if you want to do more writing and look for an agent for your writing. And I was like, you know what I've thought about both, but haven't really given either my full attention. So I thought about both those paths, like going down towards more politics or going down towards being

a writer with an agent, whether it's through screenwriting, or writing a book, or whatever. And they both seem intimidating from where I am right now, but not impossible. So I think I'm going to stick with the writing path, because I've been on that path for so long, and I want to see it, get somewhere where I'm proud of it. And then I wouldn't be surprised by like, write a book, get an agent. And then I'm like, oh, now I'm going to run for office. Or I don't know if I'd run for office. But I think I would like to work in the political sphere, helping out on a campaign at some point in my life, maybe down the road. And she asked me, how's your writing going? And I said, I'm not really writing. But I want you and I have written a little bit of doing a lot of like brain dumps, spilling my thoughts into a journal or a notebook. Just like writing

about my feelings at some point in the day, and that helps me get my head into the right space, just in life. So I've been writing in some sense. And I did meet up with a friend over zoom to write on writer's duet, this website where you can write on the same page at the same time, that was really cool. I didn't even know that existed. We could write on the same page, like writing a script together, which was awesome. So I've done small creative things. But I haven't tackled like a big project. Or what I really want to do is go back to a TV pilot, I wrote, at this point, I think two or three years ago, I want to go back to that pilot and just kind of remould it, pick up a skeleton of what it was, and write a brand new outline, like give it new life, because I think it's time I picked that story back up. And I don't know if it'll become a TV pilot, or if it'll become like a short story or what, but I signed up for a writing class at Second City online. And I'm hoping that'll kick some inspiration into me. So here's hoping this week's guest is Harrison Thompson. He's a therapist. He's a cognitive behavioral therapist, and he focuses on relationships and helping people become their best selves in relationships. I think we have a really good connection. I think you'll enjoy our conversation. I like to welcome Harrison Thompson!

guest interview / a friend for you / strangers whose issues are relatable / guest interview / They're the voice that's new / this person has problems and they don't mind discussing it, but they still need a therapist / (Who’s not me) 

Alright, so we can dive right in. How's it going? It's going good, man. I am actually in the middle of my workday right now. So this is actually a welcomed break. Yeah, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me in the middle of a Tuesday. I love it. It's my pleasure. And you're in the Bahamas, right? Yes, actually, it's really cold considering that it's like 61 degrees. Right now. This is freezing. For us. We're used to like maybe high 80s. Low 90s. This is ridiculous. It's freezing. I mean, is it technically winter? Or is this like an unusually cold time? So this is usually our winter, but it's never been this cold this early in February. So this is usually a change of pace. That's weird. Yeah, I guess it's just like climate change going nuts. I'm telling you. How are you? I'm good. Thanks. I'm in Los Angeles. So it's today's unusually Sunny, but we've been having weird back and forth, turned on the heat. Open the windows, like very much every other day is different. Right? I can only imagine. I've been to LA once and that was during our commute to Las Vegas. Did you spend time in LA or Vegas? Which one were you going to? So he went to Vegas? And then we went over to LA for the chicken and waffles? And then we came right back? I think it was Ross goes. Okay. Yeah. Not enough familiar. Just Just like quick, here for a second then back? No, no. Okay. That's sometimes that's the best way to do it.

So let's talk about therapy. You are a cognitive behavioral therapist, is that correct? That's correct. Okay, cool. And I wanted to ask you, in your personal life, do you do therapy on your own? Or have you ever in the past? So I work at relationship management? A lot of times I feel like I have been doing therapy on my own in the past. But um, I would say no, I've been doing it since about 2011 professionally here in this country. And it's been a very rewarding experience. I must say, you don't seek therapy on your own outside of your own practice? Oh, if I see therapy? Yes, totally. I totally do. I have a therapist, who is also a cognitive behavioral therapist. And so I think that's so cool. Yeah, I always wonder about that. Like, do you get sick of the whole? You know, we're in a therapy session, like, do you just want to break some times? Or is it help you to have your own therapist to talk to you? Yeah. Because, you know, sometimes I think we get so caught up in identifying maybe with other people's challenges and trying to assist them with what it is they have to go through. We don't realize how disconnected maybe we become from our own challenges. I think sometimes we need to just stop being something and just be for a moment, you know? Yeah, I mean, I think it's huge to like, take that time for yourself and also get your own mental health checks. You're a better therapist, to your own clients. Exactly. I want to be of good help to you. So I got to be a good help to myself. Yeah, that's great. Do you have you done it like you since you said since? Sorry, since 2011? Is that how long you've been practicing as a therapist? Yeah, since 2011. It's been quite a while. Oh, cool. So what's,

what do you like the most about it? What's the biggest like reward? I think one of the biggest things for me.

It's got to be those challenging clients, right where, you know, they're getting

Okay, they don't really know what it is to do, they're really leaning on you for that assistance in that guidance to kind of help them make sense of their their situations. And just when you think, you know, there's going to be a troublesome situation that you may not help them resolve to have a breakthrough, in that breakthrough is something that I don't think even money can buy, I can't, I can't explain the feeling of joy, the gratification that you get from being able to see that someone is now able to kind of take control over their life and, and be better because of that, that's priceless. Here, and also that you get excited about helping the challenging clients, so you don't get frustrated more. So like, I think it's good to accept the challenge and try to build those people up. Definitely, man because I I've heard some horror stories about people that have just completely associated with what it is their clients are going through. And their pain becomes their their own individual pain, you know, and that can be a very difficult thing to kind of get out of, yeah, do you find that you go to your own personal therapy to unleash like, what clients might be putting on you? Or is it like you're dealing with some more individual stuff? So So here's the weird thing, I have never felt the need to decompress from what it is I do. But I always feel the need to kind of have to decompress from how I'm thinking about myself. It's so interesting. And this is really what allowed me to think that I am working in my purpose here. I find that I get energized when I deal with my clients. But it's when I'm not dealing with my clients. And then I'm left with my own thoughts like, Am I being a good husband? Am I being a good father? Am I being a good brother? And these are the kind of things and I often struggled to kind of make sense of. So it's one of those situations where I'm helping people but maybe not able to help me. So yeah, cuz you want to, like, reflect on just kind of like the basics of who you are, and your little interweb of like, your family, your close circle, like, how is that version of Harrison doing like the one who maybe doesn't get all the attention? Because you're so focused on other people so much of the week? That's powerful. Because you hit the nail on the head, we devote the majority of our day to our clients with time Do we really have left to kind of focus on us, right?

Do you?

Do you have like a similar approach to your own clients as your therapist does? Like, do you guys have a similar way of working? Or are you totally different? So I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm kind of like,

I'm a pretty known therapist, right? I'm the guy that everybody knows in the food store, and you know, about so am I famous down there? You can say that, right?

So it's sometimes an interesting dynamic, because I don't want my therapist to be intimidated by just my presence. I want my therapist to be my therapist, and sometimes, you know, I, I find myself kind of having to remind them, Hey, I'm a human being first, you know?

So it's an interesting thing. It's an interesting dynamic, but it's grown though it's definitely much better now. It's, it's straight to the straight to the meat of what it is I got to do. I'm not really a kind of dance around the situation kind of guy like my stuff better, straight up. You don't have all that like extra fluff going on. It's more direct to the point. Definitely. Do you focus on relationships? Because I noticed looking at your website, your social media, your your like, a lot of relationship type offerings, is that your core focus? Yeah, so I have always had this belief that

in order for us to, to be to change as a nation, we need to make sure that we have healthier relationships. And in the Bahamas, one of the things that I don't think we get right, is learning what developing healthy relationships look like. I think so many people spend time trying to find the right person, instead of actually being the right person. And so we can't stop people from getting into relationships. And so I figured if we can kind of help people do that a little bit better, then maybe we can all be like better fathers better, better mothers, better brothers, brothers and sisters and whatever respective place we hold in our society. Yeah, that's a really good point. I've never thought about it in those words, before, you know that we should be really thinking like, how am I treating the relationship? Not necessarily the person or the other end of it, but like, how is the relationship doing? Can I make that stronger, healthier? What's my role? I think that i think that's such a cool way to look at it. Because you know, the relationship is a living, breathing thing. And we have to pay attention to what the relationship needs sometimes, which may also mean not ignoring what I feel, but rising up to the occasion about what the relationship is requiring from me because I chose to be in this relationship out of my freewill and so that my wife and so we have to give this thing do you respect for the kind of flourish? Do you want to? Yeah, you want to like give it water you want to give it whatever it needs to be thriving. You don't want to neglect the

relationship because then it's not going to be doing well. You know, so on point, I have this flower in my house, and it's the most romantic flower in the world when it does not get water. And I'm like, this is totally me, this is who I am when I am not able to water these things that are important to me. And so it's just about being responsible, I think, you know, right. And you were saying you have a new baby. So how does that

play into the relationship with your wife, your new child? Like, how is how's your family relationship going? Yeah. So it's been an interesting adjustment, right? Because my, my baby doesn't really sleep. Well. Ryan, she's a beautiful soul. I feel like she's been here before. But the nighttime, she just doesn't want to stay asleep. And so you know what it's like to come home at the end of the day, you're mentally exhausted. And then you kind of have to pick up another role of being an active parent who's not supposed to be so frustrated and are responding out of anger, making sure that we're disciplining and it can be a lot. And so me and the wife have kind of had to develop a system where it's like, you know, she kind of allows me some time to decompress when I get home. And then I kind of take over from her. And then while I go to eat, she's resting with the baby. And then now she's a little bit better. So we have more time to kind of do these things. But man, months, one through nine were amazingly hard. under nine oh my gosh, yeah. I know. Because you hear it's, it's like a no sleep period for new parents, I get it. I am, I am operating currently, like off of four hours of sleep. To me, this is the new eight hours of sleep per night, I'm happy that I can get four consistently.

Yeah, that's wild. I mean, it's so ironic that the baby, even if the baby's not sleeping super well, like she's probably getting so much more sleep and comparisons, probably getting like 10 plus hours a day, I help someone, please, just a little bit.

spread the wealth for the sake of the family?

Well, it sounds like you're getting a good balance on it, it's hard when like you have a newborn, as they get older, hopefully it gets a little easier. Right? That's the expectation. And I'm learning that I came into fatherhood with an expectation that you love your kid in the day you put them down to sleep in the night.

That's not necessarily how it works. You know, sometimes you're going to have to parent when you're not expecting to parent and you know, these are the things that people can kind of prepare you for, even though they have their own stories about what they went through. You and your wife, you and your partner will kind of go through whatever it is you have to go through for that child. And so I'm just trying to stay present, I'm trying to be mindful that these are experiences that I have to cherish because time is not on our side. And I I like how you're taking an approach as like a team player, you know, like kind of tagging in when your wife needs rest, or vice versa. Because you one of you has to be there. But you can't both be there.

That's so true. That's good to approach it like a winning team. I like that, I think I think I think teams are important because it helps us to recognize that us having shortcomings is not a problem. But not being able to communicate about that as challenging. I've realized that and I thought so much of myself as being a a Dewar, you know, I looked at not being able to do something, that's a problem. And really, that's the value of the team that I have with my wife, she fills the gaps where I can on and I fill the gaps where she cannot. And together, we can produce a pretty, pretty good result. That's great. It gives me hope for other parents, or if I become a parent someday, we can all figure it out, too.

When you when you're doing the therapy for your own clients, treating like a relationship problem, do you stress communication? Or what do you think are like the pillars you really try to teach people? Oh, beautiful question. So the first pillar and I actually do use that word is purposeful communication, because I find so many people are only talking, they're not necessarily communicating about the issues that matter. Once we can kind of iron out what purposeful communication looks like, we can move into the second pillar, which is like deepening our understanding, right? There's what we are presented with, there's what we believe. And then there's the actual truth, we have to make sure that we find out what that truth is. The third thing is learning how to release negativity. Because when you've been with one person for a long time, they're going to offend you, they're going to hurt you. They're going to forget things. You have to learn how to release that to exist in harmony in our relationship. And then the last thing is you have to learn to accept more responsibility, right? We can continue to blame we can continue to be victims, we have to figure out how can I become more responsible for the things that affect me? If clients can kind of work through those four pillars, relationship happiness and peace is right around the corner? Yeah, I think that's so good to stress especially like if you're I don't know if you do couples counseling or if you do more individual but my boyfriend

And I moved together moved in together for the quarantine. And it's been like such an obstacle to like, navigate that and a pandemic. So we recently started couples counseling. It's been like a huge aid in our communication efforts. Like we're, you know, we're at least talking better now and figuring out household stuff a lot easier. Isn't it interesting how COVID-19 just changed him so much of our dynamics and relationships in terms of, you know, how we communicate and what we do for our personal space. I think that's so intriguing. Yeah, it's been hard to get over, you know, all these like, they seem like such small battles, because you're like, Oh, it's a pandemic, the world is crumbling. But I, you know, I can't get my alone time in my apartment that's bothering me. And it seems like it's a small battle. Yeah. And I've actually found, some people said that they struggle with the distance because those that didn't decide to move in, you know, we are an island that's 21 miles by seven. That became a long distance relationship overnight, right? Because we were on lockdown from about 7pm until 6am. with, you know, very restricted movements and physical and social distancing. It's been tough. Yeah. Do you think more people have come to you because of like, those kind of problems? Like, oh, I don't know how to deal with social distancing? I don't know how to deal with like, no distancing. It's like you either have a lot of wind or a lot of nothing.

Yeah, because you know, you don't want to offend your partner, but the hard from your end. Oh, totally. Because, well, here we were, we were identified as an essential services. So we were allowed to operate with a kind of one to two client per per hour marker. And that allowed us to kind of still be in office while regulating the kind of people that come in. But it's just so interesting, because it I don't think as human beings, we ever thought that we would have to micromanage how we show love and affection. You know, I'm not used to having to consider our cycle to I'm not used to having to consider a curfew, you know, when I want to come over by our house, so I'm not having to think about oh, I probably shouldn't hug you these are natural things. And in the Bahamas, we're touchy feely, right? So we hug, we are embracing a lot. were close. That has been a challenge for us. Definitely. Yeah, I, I know, I was in therapy, luckily, when this whole thing started, so I would complain to my therapist, like, Oh, this is bothering me. I'm so annoyed all the time. She was like, Listen, like, everything is unprecedented. Like, we're not supposed to live like this. Everyone's annoyed, everyone's depressed. And I was like, Okay, I guess that makes me feel slightly better. COVID fatigue is definitely a real thing. I'm hoping that they put that in the DSM.

They know, it's gonna be leaving some triggering effects, like as we move on throughout the years, for sure. Definitely. Do you have any thoughts on that, about what the effects may be because of all of them.

I mean, I think our health just like our like sedentary, non active lifestyles, that's going to take a hit, and will will have like health effects. So I'm trying to combat that in my own life, just with like, neighborhood walks and stuff.

And then I feel like I'm more picky about my house and my, you know, my relationship, like, I want it to be much more fine tuned, there's a lot of like things I want to fix. And then I also have to let that go and be like, you can't fix everything. So I'm learning a lot about relationships, and also like, what I cannot negotiate and what I can let go.

That's powerful stuff. But I didn't ask to like learn all of this in the pandemic. It's all it's coming at me.

Yeah, we were kind of forced fed a lot of things that we weren't ready to learn. But here we are. Right. Thank you. I wanted to ask what, what inspired you to get into therapy? Like, why did you decide to take this on as your line of work? So interestingly enough, my father as a clinical psychologist, and I've always kind of observed just kind of what he does and what he did.

Because I always found myself to be a talker. I knew that I wanted to help people. And I figured that law would kind of be that thing. But it wasn't until I actually started communicating. Oh, it broke up. I was still there. That's interesting. You started in law. Can you hear me? I can hear you now. You're a little delayed, but I think it's the Wi Fi is catching up to itself. Yeah. So I started in law. That's, that's much smoother.

You can see and hear me okay. Okay. So um, yeah, I started off in law. Yes, you're clear. You're sharp. Okay, cool. I started off in law. But I realized very early on that that was, what it was he did and the scope of things that he was able to do under psychology. This is where I want to be. I started off doing

interviewing teenagers. And once I got into adults and realized adult relationships is where I'm passionate. I shifted gears. And I just went all in. That's so cool, did you? How long were you in the law fields before you kind of navigated out of it? So that would have been about from 2007 to about 2008 2009, to be honest, okay, so you did it for a few years, and then decided it wasn't really clicking. And then Luckily, your father could like, give you his experience to show you more about clinical psychology. Oh, totally. But man, let me tell you it was a hard road because Bahamians are not very good at self report. And there is a stigma on mental health in the Bahamas. And so people often look at having to go to a therapist as though they are weak, you know, and that has been a challenge. But the challenge that I've been embracing challenge that I've been willing to disarm, and I think now I'm beginning to become humble, I'm beginning to change the narratives around mental and emotional health to good wave. Like that's such a good banner to carry. Cuz I feel like I'm trying to do that with the podcast. I'll be it on I feel like a smaller scale, because it's just like a podcast, anyone can listen to it. But to take on something you know, is like, not super welcome in your own hometown. Like, that's a lot to carry. It sounds like you're doing really well with it, though. Yeah, I'm trying my best because what I had to do, I instead of expecting people to come to me, I had to go to people. And so I took the Facebook, and took to social media. And I started doing like, improvised skits about some challenges that a lot of us normalize and relationships, but showing people Hey, there is a person that can help you work through this, and kind of plugging myself in there as a therapist. And it got really took off and went viral. I landed myself on all of the national radio stations, all of the news stations and some personalities picked it up. Yeah. And then it just became, it's from, like Facebook skits. Like we were just posting them on a group or your own personal face. Yeah, I personally, on my personal page before I kind of made a professional one, and it just kind of took off. And so I wanted to make sure that anytime someone says the word relationship, that that would be synonymous with hires,

into creation, it takes some creativity. But now I think it's getting to the point where people are warming up to the idea that therapy is okay. So cool. Because that also, I'm fascinated with relationships, dating, like all of that world. Like I listened to a bunch of podcasts in that genre, just because it's like, you can always be learning more you can always apply it to your own life or just learn something for like, someone you might know something that'll happen in the future. Like there's never a lack of things to learn in the fields of relationships. So I feel like that's a great it's a great gamut to like take Oh, yeah, and then promote it with skits, sketches and skits that's right up my alley with the commie I love it. Make it funny to definitely I think humor is the is the gateway. You know, humor is the thing that unites us all, it allows us to talk about issues that we otherwise wouldn't be able to. And I think comedy disarms, right, yeah, helps, it helps what we are challenged with to seem so much more

manageable, right, comedy, has us has a has a way of bringing things down to earth, so that we can feel less intimidated by them. I think once we can do that, and you realize as human beings, we're all trying to do the same thing. We're trying to feel better. We're trying to be seen, and we're trying to be understood. Yes. And you

open the conversation that way by like saying, here's a funny skit. Don't take it seriously. But like, hey, if you are wondering how your relationship could be better call Harrison. It's a good way to like introduce you. Are you a fly on the wall? Because that's exactly how it goes.

I've just, you know, learning your story as we go. But I, I feel that approach. Like I've tried to do something similar with the podcast and comedy side, I totally get where you're coming from? Did you expand on those videos at all? Did you put them on YouTube? Or are they still available out there for people to see? Yeah, so on my personal page, I kind of have this folder section with all these funny videos. And people have actually identified me as like a comedian. They didn't read

that decided to start talking about his feelings on relationships, because I did so well in the comedy. People were looking for more comedy. But it wasn't until I was able to kind of bridge the gap between the two that I kind of showed people Hey, I'm a funny guy who's actually a therapist. And I think together we can we can marry this thing and make this an awesome movement. I think that's so refreshing to find someone who's funny but also like doing something way more helpful for the world or like applicable than just like just straight comedy but also like, just a funny person working as a therapist. That's

Way more helpful for the world? I think totally. And, you know, I guess it gives my clients a sense of like trust and transparency because I often use myself as the basis of the skits, you know, like, I'm using my stories, my various mishaps and embarrassment, because I want to show people where all I think trying as best as we can in this world, sometimes we're gonna mess up and that's perfectly fine. Right? It's just about developing an awareness about what is what are the motivations, you know, why is this particular train of thought? always a challenge for me? And I think comedy allows us to embrace that idea. without feeling so threatened by it. Yeah, maybe if you're identifying strongly with something in that skit, or in that joke, you can you can laugh at it. You know, think about it more, because it's not as like, oppressive in your mind and then seek help if you want. Like, it really opens it up like, this is totally okay. It doesn't matter that you're feeling weird or ashamed, like we all are. So it makes it normal. It does. It normalizes it. And I think sometimes two people are able to release a lot just from even having a good laugh, recognizing that, hey, I'm not alone in this, like, wow, that happens to us. Holy crap, what did you do about that? Right? And then it kind of creates that conversation about what is it that we can do to begin changing these things now that we've developed in a way? Yeah, I'm so glad he, you know, found your calling that way. And it sounds like, you know, you're working hard in the Bahamas. So keep at it. Thank you. I so appreciate her. I wanted to ask you one question about clients. If you have like a difficult you were saying you really like the difficult clients or someone who challenges you, how do you get them to listen, if they're kind of resisting you or resisting your treatment suggestions. So we live in a very religious country, right. And a lot of our beliefs come out of old school, traditional Christianity. And a lot of times, that makes it very hard for people to receive new ideas or new thoughts about things. And so I recognize that we can do one or two, we can either tap into the belief system that this client already has, or we can challenge it. Usually, when we challenge those belief systems, people stop looking at us as an ally, and they start looking at us looking at us as an enemy, right, so that they need to protect themselves against. And so I try to find some kind of common ground between how this person feels and what that person is going through. And something that I can kind of call upon in my life, to kind of create rapport with. And usually, once I'm able to kind of find that similar ground, it's like the locks just kind of opened up. And people start looking at what I'm saying is something to consider, instead of something that they kind of have to disprove, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, I've definitely been reading more about that with our like, heated political climate. And, you know, America is going crazy all the time. So I've been reading about opposing views. And it helps to find that common ground. Before you start arguing, or like, differentiating your ways of thought, definitely, I think I think being a therapist has successfully helped me, if not destroy my ego, minimize it to the point where it's almost absent, right? Because so many times I realized, like, early on in my career, I wanted people to hear what it was, I was saying, I wasn't really seeing people for who they were apologies to my earlier clients, who didn't get the best of me. But I'm better now. And, yeah, it's kind of like one of those things where you kind of have to step back and realize hold on Harrison, this is their journey. purpose here is to simply show them their options, your your purpose is to simply show them, what is it that they have the power to control? What is it that they don't have the power to control, and if they choose to get your help with this, then you can get invested, right. But before that, you really have to be used wisdom in terms of how you set your expectations, because we understand what it is we want to say we understand that psychological process, but our clients don't necessarily understand that on day one. So we have to use we have to be patient with throw something at a client before they're ready, or before they're willing to like hear it. So you have to, I guess set the speed for what the client is bringing out you. Yeah, and I think this is what separates like maybe the really good therapists from the not so good ones, your ability to kind of real time make that adjustment call, right? Using the cues of openness to say, Okay, this person seems more receptive or respecting those cues of closure, and learning how to navigate that in such a way that you don't threaten that person more than you need to because this is a safe space where or we're trying to create a safe space, so that this person can talk about things that they may have never even opened up about before. Right? You want to break down walls, of course, and that's funny you say that I often say that we are in the business of building tables and breaking down walls, right. I like that. You're repurposing or repurposing more people to sit at the table, more conversation, less obstruction in our way.

invite more people in. Yeah, that's awesome. We're almost at the end, I have a roulette wheel. And usually I spend like a random question. So we'll, we'll fit in one question for you. Sure.

Stuck on a chord. There we go. Okay, give you a good spin.

Money, Money Money. Right? If only it was for money. It's just for the mind.

Okay, have you learned anything new lately? Whether it's a skill or something in psychology or life? Have you learned anything? Yes, I am, I am learning to embrace the idea that the majority of things that we experience in life is all about discovery. But our human ego has been forcing us to create. And here's why I find this to be so interesting. Just because we are trying to create something doesn't necessarily mean that that thing we are creating is going to be what is best for us. Instead, I think it's more important to discover who we are, and then to align ourselves with what makes sense. Based on our discovery, I looked at myself and I realized, everything about my life, from being a young boy to being a father to being a husband, has always been about create this create that. But what happens when you're not able to write that really, that really affects your self esteem and your self worth, and just your ability to kind of be happy in your skin. And so instead of creating, which also makes it very easy for you to internalize failing, I wanted to discover more about who I was, and then learn to kind of work with who I am naturally, as opposed to kind of trying to force myself to fit into this mask, and present to the world who I think I should be. And so that's been a really amazing thing that I'm learning to embrace. I have my clients to fight for that actually.

You're learning through your own practice. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's cool. And totally applicable to our, you know, 2021 pandemic, you know, who knows what it's gonna end, we may as well keep reinventing things based on like, this is our new normal, how do we how do we live in it? Yeah, it's, it's, it's a new normal, which doesn't mean that we can't get back some old things. But we want to be present, so that we can solve the situations that we're in today, I find most people are trying to feel better about things instead of actually being better about what's going on. And so once we can kind of shift that mindset, all of a sudden, the solutions, they just start to jump, once they start jumping out, get your fishing net, because it's time to grab some fish. Great. And it really is all about like, for me talk therapy has been so helpful, because it really like puts out what you're keeping locked up in your head, puts it out into the open, someone helps you navigate that and boom, your mind shift, your mindset shifts and things get better. That is the sweetest spot and as a therapist.

Yes. So thank you so much for coming on. Let us know where to find you online and anything you want to promote. So it's my pleasure. I thank you for having me. If you want to find out more about who I am, you can hit me up on my website. Harrison helps calm. If you want to find me on Instagram. You can find me at ht four. That's the number for real. Or if you're on Facebook, you can find me at Harrison Thompson official. I'm still trying to get used to clubhouse but if you're on there, you can find me just by typing in my name Harrison Thompson. And I'll pop right up clubhouse for all the new savvy people. The tech guys, what was the one you said before Facebook? Was it Instagram? I think you got cut out for my audio. Okay, I'll repeat it. Yes. So my Instagram handle is h t for real. That's h t the number four r EA. Okay. And we'll hit you up for all of our relationship and therapy deeds. And in the meantime, keep rocking it out in the Bahamas. Thank you so very much. It's been a pleasure connecting with you, man. I look forward to more in the future. For sure it was a joy. Thank you. Thank you so much. 

This has been Therapy Roulette: Consent toVent. If you liked this episode, the best way to help the podcast is by leaving a review especially on iTunes because iTunes is still the Big Daddy of the podcast game. But leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Rate me five stars if you think I'm worth it, and rate, subscribe, tell your friends- word of mouth will really get the podcast off the ground. So just tell people about it. If you know friends who are into mental health or comedy or both, or you think they could use a little comedy in their life, hey, we all know people like that right? The more people you tell, the more this podcast will grow. So please tell people about Therapy Roulette. And something else you could do that's fun is if you're listening, and take a screenshot of the episode, share it on social media, tag me on Instagram, Twitter, my handles are down below and I'll repost you and give you a shout out. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back with a new episode next Thursday.

Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you don’t have problems, then you’re likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Who’s not me)