Lately, Michele is experiencing bad depression, but better anxiety. Yay? She tells us how her DBT lessons, meditation, and couples counseling are going.
Today’s guest is Hannah Fairchild, a singer-songwriter and performer based in Brooklyn, NY. Hannah talks about socializing over the internet and making new friends in the gaming, art, and music communities, including Dungeons & Dragons. She reminisces on the Before Times when she could experience New York City with everything open. She tells us how hard it’s been to pursue her dream of a music career. The ladies swap horror stories of working in the service industry and criticize gender double standards.
Hannah shares what it was like growing up in Minnesota, getting bullied as a kid, and how moving to New York helped her feel like she fit in. They discuss why older millennials were late to destigmatize therapy, not wanting a therapist to find out your secrets, struggling to be creative, audio engineering, piano lessons, and juggling creative pursuits. Hannah also tells us about her tarot card ritual.
Follow Therapy Roulette!
Twitter: @TherapyRoulette
YouTube channel: Therapy Roulette
Email us! therapyroulette@gmail.com
Follow Hannah Fairchild!
IG: @hannahvsthemany
Twitter: @hannahvsthemany
YouTube: hannahvsthemany
Follow Michele Baci!
Twitter: @michelebaci
Theme music by Hannah Fairchild
Spotify: Hannah Vs. The Many
Lately, Michele is experiencing bad depression, but better anxiety. Yay? She tells us how her DBT lessons, meditation, and couples counseling are going.
Today’s guest is Hannah Fairchild, a singer-songwriter and performer based in Brooklyn, NY. Hannah talks about socializing over the internet and making new friends in the gaming, art, and music communities, including Dungeons & Dragons. She reminisces on the Before Times when she could experience New York City with everything open. She tells us how hard it’s been to pursue her dream of a music career. The ladies swap horror stories of working in the service industry and criticize gender double standards.
Hannah shares what it was like growing up in Minnesota, getting bullied as a kid, and how moving to New York helped her feel like she fit in. They discuss why older millennials were late to destigmatize therapy, not wanting a therapist to find out your secrets, struggling to be creative, audio engineering, piano lessons, and juggling creative pursuits. Hannah also tells us about her tarot card ritual.
Follow Therapy Roulette!
Twitter: @TherapyRoulette
YouTube channel: Therapy Roulette
Email us! therapyroulette@gmail.com
Follow Hannah Fairchild!
IG: @hannahvsthemany
Twitter: @hannahvsthemany
YouTube: hannahvsthemany
Follow Michele Baci!
Twitter: @michelebaci
Theme music by Hannah Fairchild
Spotify: Hannah Vs. The Many
Theme Song
Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you don’t have problems, then you’re likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Who’s not me)
Michele Baci
Hey people. Hey, listeners, how are you doing today? I hope you're doing well. Or at least
better than you were yesterday, I have been feeling more depressed. In the past week, I've been feeling super alone and lonely. And I think it's because I live so far from my home, you know, from my family. And the city I know. And the town I now I live on the other side of the country in California, and I'm from New York. So I just feel displaced. And we're coming up on a year of COVID. And I wish this was over. I wish I could fly home and see my parents and my family and my friends and go out in New York. I'm used to doing that, like, you know, at least twice a year for holidays. And then lately, it's been going home for friends weddings, in the pre COVID times. So not going back has been weird. And I've been trying to set up, zoom hangs and virtual hangs with friends and say more social than I have been online. But it's hard to like get the motivation to set all those things up. It's hard to show up, because I'm just so tired all the time. And I just kind of want to like be a couch potato and be vegetative and not be so active. To be like, Hey, we should do a zoom. Hey, we should go on a walk outside. I haven't even been doing that I haven't been meeting up with friends in real life, because I've been scared of COVID. And the numbers are finally decreasing slightly in LA. So I'm feeling a little bit more inclined to hang out with people. On Valentine's Day. Joseph and I went and met, we met up with a few friends we went bike riding. And that was nice. But other than those two people, the two friends we really haven't like, seen many people. We've been home with each other. So I was telling my therapist, like I'm feeling lonely. And she said, Well, you could you know, meet up with friends. You could hang out socially distance, wearing a mask outdoors. I was like, Yeah, I was doing that before. The holidays before like peak la numbers struck. So I'm almost at the point where I'm like, comfortable to do it again. I'm lucky like, the weather here is nice enough, I can hang out outside. Maybe I'll go on a socially distance walk with a friend or outdoor picnic with a friend or something like that. I just missed people. Why are all the people so far away? It's it's been harder and harder to like adjust to this new normal. My therapist also asked how's your anxiety and I said, Oh, my anxiety is doing fine. Like, I've had a week of depression, and a week of very minimal anxiety because I think I've been breathing a little easier. I've been actually meditating. My mom, Sue Baci, she was on the podcast a few episodes back talking about DBT. And she's been teaching me these little mini lessons to learn DBT one of the lessons is focus on one thing for five minutes. And that's the meditation you focus on one thing could be a food that you love, it could be a piece of clothing. It can be, you know, an object in your home, it can be a color, but you can only think about that one thing for five minutes. And if your mind starts to wander, or intrusive thoughts come in about something unrelated to that thing you picked. You try to bring your mind back to the thing. So I've been doing it with pieces of clothing, and it's really soothing. It's centering. I'm not really well versed in meditation. So this has been a good introduction. For me, I recommend it CBT and meditation, even if it sounds woowoo and like, I don't need that. It can help everyone you're not above breathing. Breathing is good for you. Um, Joseph and I are also moving along in our couples therapy. I think we've been doing it for like, a little over a month, maybe a month and a half. And it's been great. I want to remove the stigma of couples therapy because like anything, you hear about it, you see it in media, television film, and you think oh, that's that's not for me. That's really People who are fighting who are about to break up about to divorce people who hate each other. But then I signed up for a couples therapy with my boyfriend because I have a friend who did it recently. And it seems like in this pandemic, we're all so stressed to the max, it seems like it really helps my friend. So I thought, oh, maybe you would help me and Joseph, because we had a much different relationship before COVID. Because with COVID, we've, you know, been spending all of our time together versus one or two nights out of the week. And we, you know, we started living together in March of last year. So it's been, you know, it's been a wild ride of like, Oh, this is what you're like, every day, 24 hours. This is what I'm like, every day, 24 hours. This is what it's like when we cook all of our meals, and we don't have a dishwasher. And you know, how we navigate our free time and our work time. And it's been an arduous learning process. But I think we've really overcome a lot of challenges together. And what we've really gained from couples therapy is like, communication skills, because I personally thought we could improve upon those and I didn't really know how to communicate, what I wanted to express and the counselor has really been helpful. So I recommend couples therapy, let's de stigmatize it. I want to ask you, the listener, to send me an email, email me, tell me what you're thinking. What do you think about the podcast? How could it be better? You know, what do you like the most about it? If you have a therapy problem, a mental health problem, or a story, if you have a therapist you want to rant about, or anything, send me an email and I'd love to hear about it. My email address is down below. in the show notes. It's Therapy roulette@gmail.com. Also, while you're at it, go on Apple podcasts and leave me a review. Five stars. I'm the best tell everyone. If you leave me a review on Apple podcasts, more people will find Therapy Roulette. And that is awesome. Today's guest is Hannah Fairchild. You already know her voice. She does the theme music for Therapy Roulette. She is a musician and a performer based in Brooklyn, New York. I'd love to welcome to the podcast, Hannah.
Theme Song
guest interview / a friend for you / strangers whose issues are relatable / guest interview / They're the voice that's new / this person has problems and they don't mind discussing it, but they still need a therapist / (Who’s not me)
Michele Baci
today. I'm here with Hannah Fairchild. She is a musician and performer based in Brooklyn, and her band is called Hannah versus the many. They do the theme music for Therapy Roulette. So you've already heard them. I like to welcome to the podcast, Hannah Fairchild!
Hi. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Of course.
Is that correct? what I said? Or should I say? Just use it the theme music, Hannah?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, no, that is true. Well, I mean, technically, I did that without the band. The gentleman in the band. We're not a part of that theme song. But
Michele Baci
the music is is by Hannah herself. So you've already got accustomed to her voice. It's so nice to talk to you. You're in New York, you're in your apartment. How's it going over there?
Hannah Fairchild
Well, I'm in New York, and I'm in my apartment. That's kind of been the vibe for a while now.
Michele Baci
Right? Um,
Hannah Fairchild
it's been really cold here the last couple of days. And I'm from Minnesota. And I feel like you get two kinds of Minnesotans where it's the ones who were like, this isn't that bad. And then the ones who were like, this is terrible. And I'm one of those ones that like moved out of Minnesota and stopped being able to be cold. So I'm like literally sitting on a space heater.
Michele Baci
It's not weird how no matter how many years you spent in like a more harsh environment. Once you're in a new environment, you quickly adapt and you're like, nope, this is this is what I can take now.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it's like oh, it is three and that is so cold. And I am staying inside all day.
Michele Baci
Yes, that's where I'm at. not messing with that outdoor atmosphere.
Hannah Fairchild
not messing with the cold and also the COVID of it all just not not here for the
Michele Baci
smart stay inside while you can. I give you props for like, you know, doing that in New York because now I'm in LA I'm like a little peach. I can I can barely handle weather. I miss my tough armor for sure.
Hannah Fairchild
I wish I were in LA so I could go
Michele Baci
I know I feel like I'm too lucky over here. I got to switch to some East coasters. So the podcast is about therapy. Tell us are you in therapy right now? And
Hannah Fairchild
if not, have you done it in the past currently for cost reasons, which I wish was not the case. I was in therapy up through like the middle of quarantine so like after the middle of last summer. And it was a combination of me moving into like a way more expensive apartment because of COVID reasons
Michele Baci
I know I followed your housing journey online and I was like, Oh my god, she's really like, yeah, bad your grades right now.
Hannah Fairchild
It was like already kind of bad. And then when COVID hit, it became unsafe. So I spent the first six months of lockdown living in my best friend's house, he and his wife had gone to her parents house. So I just lived in their house for six months, which was weird. It was great like I was basically pass awesome room share my old place while living in this like really nice apartment in Jersey City. But you know, Michael and Jesse were like, we would like our house back down. And I was like, cool, I will find someplace else to live and I didn't want to move in with roommates during the middle of quarantine. Do you know what I mean? Like, I didn't want to
Michele Baci
risk leaders. Yeah, you don't know what you're getting into.
Hannah Fairchild
And you're just like, you have no way of knowing other people's risk tolerance levels and also just like the idea of being stuck inside all the time. Yeah, with people I maybe didn't know that well. So I sucked it up. And like now budget nearly all of my salary towards living in a really a really nice studio in Brooklyn that I'm super happy to have. Which,
Michele Baci
which neighborhood are you in?
Hannah Fairchild
I'm in Sunset Park. Okay. Which is just like a just a really nice neighborhood II part of Brooklyn. I'm really close to Chinatown. So I'm really excited for when things start opening up again, so I can let go get dimsum I have not gone for Dim Sum yet. Excited about the summer when I can be vaccinated for dimsum? Um,
Michele Baci
are you going out at all? Are you like pretty much apartment bound all the time?
Hannah Fairchild
I'm pretty much apartment bound at the moment, our levels went back up. And so I'm pretty antsy about that. I just like I figure we're so close to the to the end of it now and getting vaccinated that now would be a really bad time to get COVID I just be so mad at
Michele Baci
myself. That's what I think to like Dr. Fauci. I forgot where I was listening to him on some news podcast. And he was saying if you get COVID now, I mean, we're almost at the end. And I was like, oh, Dr. Fauci would be ashamed if I got COVID now, I gotta say straw.
Unknown Speaker
I don't want Dr. Fauci to be disappointed.
Michele Baci
That would be the ultimate shame.
Unknown Speaker
so bad.
Michele Baci
Um, but you're, um, you're saying pretty confident back
Hannah Fairchild
into therapy soon. But at the moment, I am without therapy.
Michele Baci
I feel Yeah. Do you think you'd be? Do you think it was? Were you paying with it with insurance before he had to quit?
Hannah Fairchild
I was going through a school that had a sliding scale program. Okay.
Michele Baci
So it's like, so affordable before he took on a much bigger expense.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And they also do a sliding scale based on salary. And like, even the slit like it would be a perfectly reasonable amount to pay. If I wasn't paying so much money in rent, if that makes sense. Like, it's like, Wow, that's a deal. That's less than therapy, even with insurance in most places. But
Michele Baci
yeah, I read this is so insane in New York, and it always climbs and never really stays the same.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and for a studio in this neighborhood, I'm actually like, this may be not very interesting to a podcast, but like New Yorkers really like to talk about real estate, I have a really good deal on this apartment. It's like, way cheaper than I was expecting to pay. So it was crazy.
Michele Baci
But that's awesome. I think people are obsessed with New York. That's my own opinion. As a New Yorker. sending it content about New York is good content.
Unknown Speaker
Well, I'm here.
Michele Baci
So you usually pay on a sliding scale for therapy quit because you upgraded your housing situation. Do you think you're gonna go back once you can, like more reasonably afford it?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. 100%. I'm, I'm currently like, within the last couple of weeks, I was like, Huh, before the world opens up again, I should maybe talk to someone about the whole living inside and not talking to other people thing for months. Just might be good to have somebody like that some thoughts.
Michele Baci
Yeah, for sure. And also the fact that you had to quit kind of without planning to quit. That sucks. So you probably had unfinished things.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I think I left it an OK spot. But there's definitely it's when you spend so much time alone. I don't know if you've been fighting this. I know that you're living with someone but like, Yeah, when you spend so much time alone, or just with like the one person I find myself thinking about a lot of things and like, sort of dwelling on things and having realizations about situations from my past or like feelings I've had, and I'm like, Oh, that's interesting. I wish I had a therapist to discuss this way.
Michele Baci
Yeah, no, I've been living with Joseph the whole time. But I still feel like internally very alone, just because like, I feel like we all feel alone alone right now. So even if we like are physically near each other all day. It's like, I don't have my friends anymore. I don't have my family. I feel like kind of isolated in that way. So it helps to have a therapist, I recently got back into it. And I'm grateful like, I got that going. So I was like, I think I'm going crazy. And I like don't trust myself all the time.
Hannah Fairchild
That's so relatable.
Michele Baci
Yeah, because you have too much time to think and you don't Have your real you don't have your real routines, your normal life. So everything's totally new and I don't know how to navigate it. So I, I personally was like, I need a professional to help me realize I am not that crazy, I hope.
Hannah Fairchild
And like, for me one of my like mental health coping mechanisms, so I'm just feeling really extroverted by nature and like, doing stuff and seeing my friends and being out in the world are like huge, like,
Michele Baci
especially for me in New York, because your apartments kind of like your space. And then New York is a world it's a whole universe.
Hannah Fairchild
There's so much New York. It's just so much stuff that I have no access to right now.
Michele Baci
Yeah. So how do you substitute that for all the you know, extrovert needs? You probably have like, how do you socialize? Oh, man,
Hannah Fairchild
I play so much Dungeons and Dragons now.
Michele Baci
I saw that on your on your social media.
Hannah Fairchild
I did not play Dungeons and Dragons before lockdown. And now I'm in three different campaigns. Oh my God,
Michele Baci
that's a lot.
Unknown Speaker
I have special fancy magic dice.
Hannah Fairchild
Like so much Dungeons and Dragons. I'm so and that's just like, that's the idea of having a group of people who you see regularly to do a specific thing has become
Michele Baci
a gang. You joined a community.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And so I also have a group with whom I read Shakespeare plays once a month. And I also have a group who does like a zoom based open mic on Monday nights. And I
Michele Baci
these are such good communities. They're all like artsy and like a little nerdy. I like this.
Hannah Fairchild
It's it's been really nice for me and like I have, I've been really lucky in that. I've been able to keep tabs on most of my friends through lockdown. And I've made a couple of friends in lockdown. Like there are people who I met over zoom playing Dungeons and Dragons, who are now my closest friends. And
Michele Baci
that's incredible.
Hannah Fairchild
One of them I have never met in person.
Michele Baci
Oh, you still hang out through this game group.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, we text every day. So that's cool. And like a couple of people who were just like Twitter friends, I what are the other groups I started with, like a, like a musical theater composers support group. So it's a bunch of us who were like trying to write music and lockdown and going crazy slightly because of it. Like, several of those people were like people who I wasn't disclosed to and now I do feel much closer to them. So like that's, that's been a cool thing of just the the zoom and the virtual hangs.
Michele Baci
Do you feel is that like all pretty much regular on your calendar? Do you as an individual? Do you have to reach out and be like, hey, are we doing the group tonight? Or like, is it happening? Or is this just automatically happen all the time?
Hannah Fairchild
Some things are weekly. Like I have one Dungeons and Dragons game that happens every Tuesday. And that's just what we do it. Some things everyone is super invested. So it's like, Yeah, what are we hanging out next? Let's plan that right now. Before
Michele Baci
we all hang up, which is smart that you'll most likely make it happen or like half of you will show up. I like that idea.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and then I have some friends who like I have to a little bit be the instigator and be like, Hi. It's like I hang out with a group of like my really old friends in New York like people I've known since I was 22. Mm hmm. Last night on zoom and I was one who was like, Hi guys haven't seen you since Christmas. Let's plan a zoo.
Michele Baci
How long have you been in New York?
Unknown Speaker
15 years. 15 years?
Michele Baci
Oh my god. That's such a long time to live in New York City.
Hannah Fairchild
It is and that's been consistent. Like I haven't like come and gone or that's just been I moved here right after I graduated college. Still I can do the math and figure out how old I am.
Michele Baci
Do you sell what do you still love it?
Hannah Fairchild
I do. And the weird thing about lockdown like I keep calling it lockdown. It's a weird word to keep using the weird thing about quarantines
Michele Baci
and like, like lockdown, I've also transition to lockdown times.
Hannah Fairchild
Just here we are unable to leave I I miss New York. I still live here. But I live in this little apartment. Yeah. And just I miss being on the subway and listening to music and I miss like, going to a dive bar with my friends and then taking a cab home over the Brooklyn Bridge. Like I miss walking around and window shopping and Williamsburg like just little things that aren't even really anything but were just huge aspects of my usual day to day life. I really miss.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I imagine it's still something of a ghost town I've seen because a lot of my friends are in New York. So I see like, things they post where it's like the subway looks kind of full today or like the street. The streets look kind of empty, but there are people drinking outside. So like you kind of you see people out doing their lives. Maybe they're going to work, but it seems much emptier than what New York is supposed to be.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, in the summer when it was warmer and the numbers were way down like I would I live not too far from Prospect Park. So like I was constantly meeting people in the park and like smuggling in bottles of wine and just like sitting slightly apart from each other and drinking wine in the park and tons of people were doing that like the park was always full of people. We're respectfully distanced. Yeah, that it's cold and snowy, it's a little harder to do.
Michele Baci
And I trust New Yorkers way more than I'll trust anyone in Los Angeles because I feel like in New York, people are using their brains. They're thinking about what they're doing. They put their mask back on, if they're close to someone, this is what I get from Instagram. I think it's what's happening. And then in Los Angeles, people just don't wear masks, or they're rude or like, entitled, as a stereotype. But it makes me so angry that wealthy, educated people in Los Angeles can't get their shit together. And New York is like, way bigger. And they don't I don't know. Why is New York so much better than us.
Hannah Fairchild
I It's wild to me. Like I have another friend who lives in LA too. And she reports the same stuff back to me that it's like, kind of scary for her to go outside. Yeah, and I just can't understand that. Like, the whole like, anti masker nonsense. I'm just like, why this is such a stupid Hill to die on. Mm hmm. In some cases, literally. Like that's a tacky joke to make. But like, honestly, like, this is a very easy thing you can do that can protect yourself and others. Why wouldn't you just do that
Michele Baci
thing? the bare minimum you can do just put a piece of cloth over your face while you're next to other people.
Unknown Speaker
It can be a cute piece of cloth.
Michele Baci
That's the thing I heard of your outfit. I heard the comic Nicole buyer was saying on her podcast. We have to make masks cool. And we have to kind of make anti maskers. uncool and then they'll they'll want to be cool again and then we'll we'll get him on board.
Hannah Fairchild
Did Did you see the pod the masks so that I don't know if she made them or if a fan of hers made them because I'm I love Nicole by her. I follow her on Twitter.
Michele Baci
Yeah. She said, buddy.
Hannah Fairchild
Somebody put one of her tweets that said like, Am I allowed to swear on your podcast? Michele? Oh, of course. It's
Michele Baci
explicit.
Hannah Fairchild
The she had tweeted something like, where everyone should wear masks so I can get dicked down and 2021 or something like that or so I can get fucked in 2021? Yes. And so somebody made masks of that tweet, you can get a mask that says I wear this mask, Nicole buyer can get fucked and
Michele Baci
Nicole byer is trying so hard. Let's help her out. I love her so much. I listened to her podcast, why would you date me, which is all about like her dating problems. And I never get tired of it. I'm like, I know. She's like encountering some shitty dude on an app over and over again. But it's always a little different. And you always learn something new.
Hannah Fairchild
I really want to listen to that one. But my dating life is such a nightmare that I'm like, I don't know if I can listen to Nicole Bartok.
Michele Baci
Well, she interviews people who are mostly in happy relationships. Like usually she interviews people who are somehow like, you know, wifed up, coupled up. Sometimes she interviews single people, but usually it's someone whose romantic life is going much better than hers. So yep, both.
Hannah Fairchild
Okay. All right, then maybe I'll check that out. Then I need to do podcasts.
Michele Baci
Yeah. But she's so funny. I think we should put everything on a mask, whatever, I'll get people to wear it. When you were in therapy in the past, did you ever have like a really bad therapist or a really good therapist?
Hannah Fairchild
The first therapist I had, unfortunately, was not a good fit for me. And it was my first experience with therapy. So I was like, Oh, no, is that is this what this is good at? I don't like this at all. And she her attitude towards me was kind of like, very smug and condescending. Like she was like, well, but why is that a problem. And I'm like, because it's upsetting. And it was like, I was going through a period where I had I did not have a steady job. I was doing some freelance work, but and then while I was in therapy with this woman, I run to being made redundant at my freelance job like they lost the account I was working on. So I lost all sense of income. And I had a really bad year and I'd gone through a really traumatic breakup and a previous really traumatic job loss, like all within a few months span.
Michele Baci
Yeah, it was not a great time for for your life for the life of me. Oh,
Hannah Fairchild
that was a really bad 2016 it was a really bad year for me and Meredith, this woman's name is Meredith at one point was like, What will you do if you never have a career in music? And I was like, Oh, um, she kept trying to say things like you could get a job doing ad executives for musicians or doing advertising for musicians and I'm like, Nope,
Michele Baci
not the same. like trying to stop in your dream and to some other dream that she's creating for you.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, into something more lucrative and it's like it's the kind of thing that people it's like, the stereotypical like, my parents don't understand my art they always say these things kind of thing except my parents talk to me like that. They're like sure living a life and so I had a therapist. I was paying $125 an hour being like your dreams are stupid.
Michele Baci
That's so shitty. And I hate when strangers try to mother you where you're like, Do I know you like Why are you giving me this parental Condon like condescending advice like it's not at all what I came to For your professional, I'm paying you what
Hannah Fairchild
what is this? Yeah, it just wasn't helpful at all. And then, so I quit that. And then because I did not have a job did not get back to therapy for some time because I didn't have a job for several months. 2016 was a rough year I had like stopped waitressing and then I had to go back to waitressing Mm hmm.
Michele Baci
I think you and I met before that what did when did we meet about writing classes up before 2016
Hannah Fairchild
I think it must have been 2017 because that's what I got my current job okay. And I had definitely started that job when I met you like maybe just barely
Michele Baci
cuz you had you had a your current job. You said you had a good job in that class. I remember you talking about it.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I mean, it's a friend of mine, I waitress for 11 years. And in combination of like I worked in high end places I worked in like family neighborhood places. It was all terrible. You are
Michele Baci
You are a survivor of the service industry.
Hannah Fairchild
And the service industry survivor and I it's one of those things that I didn't realize how bad that job was for my mental health until I got another job. But no, I I just don't have panic attacks anymore ever. Now. I'm like a completely different person.
Michele Baci
11 years and I've never I've waitress most of my time in New York. But I was never in a high end place. I was always in like, you know, a beer house, a cafe. So I feel like it was like a little less pressure. But I still felt the need to cry often. Where I was like, This is too much. Why am I Why am I here for 12 hours, I can't
Hannah Fairchild
12 hours. And then like, in the high end places, they hold you to incredibly impossible standards. They'll be like this needs to happen in this exact order. And if you don't do it, you're a bad employee. And we're gonna take you off dinners and put you on one shift. And like, there'll be like, you need to make sure that the spoon hits the table before dessert gets the table and then but there will only be like eight spoons of the entire restaurant. Yeah, there's never enough spoons in high end restaurants. If you're eating someplace fancy.
Michele Baci
There are not enough spoons there. Well, you probably need a new one for every new plate you are served.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Hannah Fairchild
And then in but my experience in like bar casual places was I got sexually harassed way more often. Management. I don't mean
Michele Baci
to laugh. I'm just thinking like, why is it
Hannah Fairchild
like that? I don't know. And like management wouldn't do anything. They just be like, Oh, he's just flirting with you. But I'm like, nope, he is talking about my ass while I am at work. That is that is not a flirt that I am interested in engaging with.
Michele Baci
Whenever these whenever there's a new sexual allegation story in the news, I constantly go back to my memories of working in restaurants where I'm like, this was happening that was happening. I could tell like my manager was doing this like you just like a lot of puzzle pieces come together. where you're like, no, like they were probably you know, having sex in the office. And that's why they were so happy all day. I don't know.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, we're just like, lots of drugs, especially in the high end places like Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So much cocaine.
Michele Baci
Because they need to be awake for I don't understand the needs like for cocaine into restaurant like, it's it seems like very extreme to me. But
Hannah Fairchild
it's amazing. I'm really bad at his job like the the GM who was very irritable him do drugs. Yeah, he was very irritable. He was really like, I mean, keyed up all the time. And like, constantly, like running around and making a fuss and making people nervous. And just like, asking why nobody else was going faster. I heard it's like,
Michele Baci
you're describing all the people in power at the restaurants I worked in. were like, you know, they come up from the kitchen. Like, suddenly it's an emergency, but we don't have that many customers. So I don't know why.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And then they're yelling at you to clean stuff. And it's like, but I did.
Michele Baci
But I'm trying to drink water because I haven't stopped moving in 12 hours.
Hannah Fairchild
I don't get to sit down at least let me lean on some.
Michele Baci
Yes. Oh my god. I'm glad you're out. I'm glad I'm out.
Hannah Fairchild
I'm glad we're out.
Michele Baci
Everyone should do it if they want to, at one point in your life, but it is hard. It's like going to war. I think
Hannah Fairchild
it does feel like going to war. Like, and I will say like the only good thing about my years in the restaurant industry is how many excellent friends I made during that time. Like some of my best friends to this day are people who I met working in restaurants and that that's why Yeah, because you're like even people who you ordinarily wouldn't maybe have been the best friends with you're like, nope, we're in this together.
Michele Baci
There's something about working a crappy job that really unites people in that workplace. Yeah, I think that's why I had such an easy time. My my first few months in alykes, I started waitressing, like immediately so I was instantly in a group of people where we all hated our manager, like, you know, unites you.
Unknown Speaker
And then suddenly, we're friends like Yeah,
Michele Baci
perfect. Do you want to? Are there any like restaurant stories you want to share? Or,
Hannah Fairchild
oh man, I'm trying to think of like what is funny but not Trump. amortizing What do I have that's funny and not traumatizing?
Michele Baci
What did you have to wear for for like one of the fancy jobs?
Hannah Fairchild
Ooh, that's that's actually a good one. Because that comes into the, the the sexual harassment aspect of it all. In one of the fancy restaurants that I worked in the fanciest one that I worked out the longest, which I'm not going to name but people who are familiar with restaurants in New York will probably be able to guess based on my uniform description. They were really into the idea of it being like a sexy downtown. cool kid. So the middle got to wear button downs and pants. The women had to wear black cocktail dresses like we were little boys
Michele Baci
wear a dress while you're dancing.
Hannah Fairchild
And don't get me wrong. It was a cute dress, I looked great. I'm sure. But we also we didn't have aprons and we weren't allowed to wear like restaurant shoes. We had to wear ballet flats, and the floors were marble. Oh my god. So I had this little dress on with no aprons. So I had to have I the first dress that I was issued had pockets. So I had pens and a notebook in my pocket. But anything else you need, it had to be kept in like one of the side stations. And then we got a new manager who, like they'd run out of the dresses with pockets. So they said okay, we're all gonna switch to this other dress that didn't have pockets. And we were like, but pockets and they were like, you don't need pockets. And we were like we do. We'll waitresses, I
Michele Baci
know, what are we supposed to memorize every complicated order people come in with you want us to not screw up and memorize everything like,
Hannah Fairchild
and they were like, well, you can keep things in the side station. And I'm like, you've just added so much back and forth to my day. Like, no, I can't just constantly be running back and forth to get this notebook. This is such a waitress problem. And then like might, by the time I quit that job, my feet were like, utterly destroyed from I think four and a half years of wearing ballet flats on marble floors, just for us, you know, hashtag aesthetics.
Michele Baci
And yeah, I mean, that looks beautiful if you don't move if you like stay stationary the whole time.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And then, during the same time when we were fighting with them about the the server, women's dresses, which also were short enough that I couldn't really bend over. So I had to like do little tiny dainty plays whenever I had to pick something up off the floor at a restaurant is fairly frequent. Yeah, um, they decided that the hostesses should wear heels on marble floors. This also had to go up and down stairs all the time, because they were constantly getting guests in the like lounge area and bringing them down to the restaurant. Yeah. And the idea of being eight hours on your feet in heels on I just I cannot believe and that the hostesses were like, No, we literally can't do that. And the manager who is of course, a man did not understand, like, did not even try to understand that we were saying like, no, you're forcing us to wear things that make our job harder for no reason.
Michele Baci
Yeah. And give us like, so many health and joint problems, when we're just trying to make minimum wage. It's
Hannah Fairchild
not we also are pretty sure we're stealing our tips. So
Michele Baci
yeah, I've never, you know, I've never been paid less and done more work. And yeah, really got into existential questions in my mind, like, why am I here? Why am I spending so much time at this stupid job. But I had a similar argument with a manager about aprons where like, he didn't want to supply aprons for the staff. And we're like, but we need these things. Because we work in your restaurant, we need aprons to do the job. And he like what he was like, get your own, like, okay,
Hannah Fairchild
I had a manager once who refused to change the menus when we changed out wines. Mm hmm. So like, the menus would have three wrong wines on them. And I was just supposed to remember and if I accidentally ordered the wrong wine, she got mad at me. And I'm like, but, but there's three wrong lines on here. And you know, I can't just go printing new menus all the time, and I'm like, then you should replace the wine. Why are you like this? She was she was the worst. So that's Oh, my most I was Go ahead. Once I was I was working on Christmas Eve for this restaurant where this woman was and I was only supposed to work like, I think 11 to three It was a shortened shift because it was Christmas Eve and around noon. She was like, actually, we're gonna stay up until five today and I was like,
Unknown Speaker
but it's Christmas Eve.
Hannah Fairchild
Like you're gonna do that she passive aggressively threatened me and she was like, Oh, well, I'll just call your coworker and she could have been for the last two hours then and I'm like, you are a horrible person. And there weren't any customers and there was literally no reason for us to be open another
Michele Baci
two hours. That's the thing is they make they make you work holidays because they think people will come in and my experience only people come in Are you know, sad. They're not gonna tip you. They're foreigners. They don't know that you're supposed to tip Americans. And it's like barely any customers. No one's coming into your restaurant on New Year's Eve Christmas Eve unless you're running some like beautiful prefix special.
Hannah Fairchild
So I refuse to work New Year's Eve at the at the fancy place. They always had like a champagne thing going every time and I was like, nope, absolutely not. Not coming in.
Michele Baci
I'm not doing that. putting your foot down. Most recent restaurant I worked at the manager was like constantly intoxicated, and he would insist on being a waiter because he wanted the tips and which is like its own problem. Because you're a manager, you're getting a better wage, I'm sure. You can also be a waiter getting a bunch of tips. So he would come in drunk or get drunk on the job. fuck up my happy hour. And I'm like, You're spilling things and breaking them and I could be getting much better tips. It was like so hard to work with my boss.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I restaurant office now or I work I have a desk job that I was thankfully able to keep during COVID. And I'm just so happy. Like I just you know, casually login, answer emails, schedule social media posts. Like it's so much better.
Michele Baci
It's so much more what I think you're supposed to do for work. I think it's like, you're supposed to have that ease of like, I could sit down. I could. I could have a beverage whenever I was like, I don't have to, like beg to drink water.
Hannah Fairchild
Oh, my God, I can eat.
Michele Baci
Yeah, you can eat could take a break. They pay you to take a break. Or they encourage it.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it's it's so much better. Yeah, the toxic
Michele Baci
industry of restaurants, a lot of entertainment places where they like rush you to not take a break. It's not cool. We got a fight back and subway. Favorite.
Hannah Fairchild
I think removing tipping culture is going to be a huge thing. Like, I think people who work in restaurants need to get paid a salary and paid a lot more especially like people in the back who are getting like a really crappy hourly wage to get yelled at by you. Yeah, white men who went to culinary school. Like they need to be getting paid so much more.
Michele Baci
There. There was a restaurant I worked at in New York, we got paid $5 an hour. That was not minimum wage. That was less than minimum wage. Insane. Cuz they were like, Oh, you make tips.
Hannah Fairchild
Give me tips. Sometimes. You're not allowed to ask. So somebody doesn't give them to you? Because they're like, I don't know, French. which happened all the time.
Michele Baci
Yeah, in New York City. like half of your customer base is not from New York City.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And sometimes they know, and sometimes they know to tip like a little.
Michele Baci
Mm hmm. That's a good idea.
Hannah Fairchild
The fact that, you know, or there's there's the American people who were like your tip starts out at 20%. And then everything you do wrong, I knock off a couple of percentage points. Like you're a horrible person.
Michele Baci
Yeah. Tip. Well, and I like your idea of removing tipping culture. I hadn't thought of that. But I think that's a great, great step forward.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I think I think that has to be
Michele Baci
glad you're at a desk job. I'm in a desk job. We can be creative on the
Hannah Fairchild
side. Sometimes during lunch, when not when possible.
Michele Baci
Yeah. When I need a break. How was your childhood? It was in was it in Minnesota?
Hannah Fairchild
It was in Minnesota? Yeah.
Michele Baci
What was that?
Hannah Fairchild
I'm cold and dark. I'm
Michele Baci
full of snow.
Hannah Fairchild
I love snow. Like I'm from northern Minnesota to from like a small town. I'm I'm being I'm from the town in Minnesota. That's right next, like literally overlapping with Fargo, North Dakota. So if you've ever seen the movie Fargo or the TV show, Fargo, that takes place in Fargo. But that's what my childhood looked
Michele Baci
like. And it sounded like very cold, very desolate.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And like I would when you when I was a kid, it's like I'd have to get up before the sun rises to get ready for school put on 18 layers go wait for the school bus, the wind would blow so much that my eyes would water and then they'd free shut. Oh my god, hop on the freezing cold school bus go to school, you know, slug off all of your cold weather gear be in school all day. And like my high school specifically did not have windows and a lot of the classrooms because it was built to be a bomb shelter,
Michele Baci
the high school.
Hannah Fairchild
So like a lot of the classes just full on didn't have windows. So if I did extracurriculars I was usually I wouldn't get home until after the sun had set. So there were whole days where I didn't see the sun.
Michele Baci
Okay, so I think this is why you're adapting so well in isolation in New York. Because you went through all of that.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it's like, I'm just gonna bench just inside times. Just like just like October to
Michele Baci
March, um, you build so much character as a child and, like adolescent
Unknown Speaker
like shaking my head like I could have done with a little less character.
Michele Baci
How was that? Like, how was your home life and all that stuff? was anything really good? Really bad? Yeah,
Hannah Fairchild
I mean, I come from a slightly dysfunctional but very loving family.
Michele Baci
Like slightly dysfunctional. doesn't sound too bad.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, like my, my parents are now divorced. They were not until I was 27. But I think it is good that they did get divorced. But for the most part, like, I at home, I never felt like I was unloved or, like, not respected. Like the things I was worried about. matters. The things I wanted to do mattered the things I was interested in mattered when I was like, at actual school, I was bullied pretty heavily. Really Yeah, and like pretty consistently from preschool, like up through high school. And
Michele Baci
how do you have that strength? How do you have the strength to bully someone in 18 layers of clothes? Like just just deal with your own problems?
Unknown Speaker
I think maybe there's just so little to do.
Michele Baci
They like think I can't believe bullies exist everywhere. Like you would think in Minnesota. We got, you know, life probably isn't that easy. Probably other things to worry about.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. But yeah, I was I was treated pretty miserably by my classmates. It was also the 90s. So like, teachers didn't take bullying that so i think i think things have changed a little bit. And teachers and school officials treat bullying more seriously. Now. When I was a kid, it was all just like, just ignore them. They'll stop. And I'm like, No, they won't. They sure did. Not.
Michele Baci
The advice toughen up, like you know,
Hannah Fairchild
yeah, don't take everything. So seriously, your two cents and yes, this is my fault. Yeah.
Michele Baci
Well, again, I guess your character was built, but that sucks. I feel like I I don't think I was really bullied by one of my sisters was. And I can only imagine what it's like now with the internet. But that you know, had to have left a mark on you and leaving Minnesota.
Hannah Fairchild
That's one thing I'm super grateful for is that social media like the internet barely existed when I was in high school and like, by the time aim was a thing American online instant messenger for the unacquainted. But I called I added one of those. I was like a senior in high school.
Michele Baci
So Oh, wow. So yeah, you miss a lot of like, cyber bullying,
Hannah Fairchild
I guess. Cyber bullying and I just don't know. Yeah, that that would have been real bad news. For me. I think I probably would have had to not have social media as a kid just in order to not be hassled.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I think about kids now. And I, I want to like take away their devices. I feel like it's just not good.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's interesting to me how fast technology has changed. And like, how even like, like there's a there's a six year split between me and my little sister and a 12 year split between me and my brother. So like she was born in 89. And he was born in 95. And just like even just the differences in what we grew up with, like he doesn't remember a time without the internet. He doesn't know what dialing phones is.
Michele Baci
That is crazy to think like It's wild. You know what a phone is, you know, what a dial up was? And pre internet times?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, like he had a Facebook in junior high. I'm pretty sure like, yeah, I didn't have a Facebook until my senior year of college.
Michele Baci
Did you? How did you recover from like, all the all that bullying stuff?
Hannah Fairchild
It's hard to say, um, I knew you were gonna ask this question. So I was thinking about it a little bit today and how like, I feel like, I also have like, pretty bad anxiety, like for which I am diagnosed and medicated, and it's a whole thing. And I feel like bullying and anxiety are both things where you can't tell someone that you've experienced this without going into how bad it is. And nobody wants to hear about that. So if I'm just like, Yeah, I was bullied as a kid. People are like, Oh, yeah, I've watched people go through that. I'm like, no, not. Not like I did. Or like a lot of people have anxiety. And I'm like, Oh, do you stop eating? When do you think people are mad at you? Because I do. Yeah,
Michele Baci
I like, just to interrupt for a second. I hope if you are listening, I hope you do not do that. Hope you don't say everyone has that everyone has anxiety. That is like the worst thing to hear. I encounter that in my own life when when I'm just like complaining about something and then if someone goes, everyone has that problem, it makes you feel worse. So
Hannah Fairchild
yeah, it doesn't make you feel like you're part of a community it makes you feel like your problem is dumb.
Michele Baci
Yeah, like, Oh, your problem is just generalized. So but I, I was bullied as a younger kid. Occasionally, because I was from like a smaller school. So what I mixed with the bigger school, I feel like I was bullied. Because I went to Catholic school. So when I like had a sport with the public school, I feel like I was the weird one. I remember getting called Big eyes, which like, I think would be a compliment, but it made me feel like really terrible. And I was leaving mega big guys. And I like I went through a lot of periods with like, no friends. So that really sucks. But overall, I don't think I was like, harassed or anything. So I can only imagine what like your experience would have been.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And it like I went through a period in like my 20s where I was like, oh, it wasn't that bad. And then I talked to people who had like, experienced average amounts of bullying. And even now I feel like I'm making too big of a deal out of it. It's like it wasn't that bad. And I get over it. But
Michele Baci
yeah, it's hard when you're talking about something in the past, because then you probably told yourself like I'm over it now. I've gone past it.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it's like, weirdly, moving to New York really helped. Like I had a pretty miserable high school experience. And then I really didn't have a great college experience either because I think I was still so lightweight. From the high school stuff that when I got to college, I was like, none of you people won't even like me. Well, I give them a chance and like that's, that was asked or if
Michele Baci
you have like a GCSE reaction to things.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. Like I was still kind of like processing my early times. And then when I was in college, I was like, very sort of prickly and easily excitable and, you know, didn't didn't really mesh with a lot of my classmates. Um,
Michele Baci
when did you want to seek out like mental health, mental health support, and they're not until
Hannah Fairchild
2016 26th. year? Um, I think I think that's another thing that's like, older millennials, I think came to therapy later, because there was a even, like, 1015 years ago, there was kind of a stigma on it. Like, you wouldn't go to therapy for like, just regular run of the mill problems. That was something that you went to if you had something that you were like, really not okay, like therapy was for, like, if you had a severe eating disorder, or if you try to commit suicide, like, basically, if like, someone took you there. Like if someone doctor ordered, you should go to psychiatrists. Yeah. And so when when things went really south for me, at the beginning of 2016, and I was just like, really having a hard time coping. I was like, You know what, maybe I should talk to a person about this. Maybe that would be helpful. And even during times now, where I feel like I'm a little more like, even keel and I'm have coping mechanisms for the things that were like really causing me grief in my 20s. Like, you know, it's still just nice to have somebody to bounce stuff off of, and to just have that resource. Like, I think it's just a really, everyone should have therapy should be free.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I wish it I wish it wasn't so stigmatized for us, like growing up, because I also like had trouble seeking out in New York, because I feel like no one I knew was in therapy. And then when I moved to LA seemed much more accessible. So I like really went on a therapy journey while I was in LA. And also I've been doing more stand up comedy. So I was like, I could talk about this on stage. But in New York, I felt like it was a secret because I lived with a bunch of roommates. And like I had friends from 10 years ago, and I was like, they can't No, no one can know something's wrong with me. So I I wish I had broken the stigma earlier.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, whereas now like, pretty much everybody I know is either in therapy or has been in therapy. And people talk very openly about it. Like I know the names of some of my friends therapist, because they'll be local. Yeah, well, Sara said the other day,
Michele Baci
which is great.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it's really nice and really positive to be able to talk about it and to be able to like just not feel like you need to be at the very end of your rope before getting some kind of help.
Michele Baci
Yeah, cuz if you're someone or you know, people who like dismiss, seeking mental health help and therapy, like those people are hiding a bunch of baggage and they like they need they probably need therapy the most.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. Oh, Lord. Yeah, like Sorry, I started super Minnesota and just terrible the Lord. Everybody gotta be in therapy. Jesus. Okay, money. Yeah, that's such a red flag if like a man that you are attempting to date is not on some kind of mental wellness journey. All those?
Michele Baci
I don't think there means but there's a bunch of tweets out there. They're like, men won't go to therapy, but and like they'll do XYZ.
Unknown Speaker
I mean, it's a really good meme.
Michele Baci
It is. I have to find the meme because I've only seen the tweets. But
Hannah Fairchild
yeah, I'm trying to think if I like saw a really good wonder if I can search it on Twitter right now and see if I can find it. Please do spend so much time on Twitter.
Michele Baci
It's good and bad. In so many ways, good and bad. I have
Hannah Fairchild
I have been trying to spend less time on Twitter and more time on like Tick Tock and Pinterest where there's like a little more positivity happening.
Michele Baci
Yeah, anything that seems more positive, generate gravitate towards that. But one of the things I really like about my boyfriend is he is very open about talking about stuff. And he he's done therapy in the past. And he's also sober. So he like went through his own sobriety journey. And he like, I feel like he's done so much work on himself. I'm like, oh, you're one of the guys out there who's like, done personal development you've like investigated your mind and what, you know, bad shit has happened to you? And I feel like really? Yeah, a lot of people don't do that. Whether they're men or women or whatever. Like a lot of people don't take the time to like, fix themselves or work on themselves.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I think I think they're scared of what they'll find out, I think is a common even for me, like before I got into therapy. I was like, Oh, she's gonna find out a bunch of secrets about me and I don't wanna but like,
Michele Baci
I know. I think that was like, that was like my first few sessions. I was like, in a standoff, silent standoff with the therapist. Like, I don't want her to find out my secrets. And then she was like, please talk to me. But it was Yeah, the first therapist wasn't great, but I had had to start somewhere. So Yeah.
Hannah Fairchild
And I think that's like the biggest takeaway, if like somebody listening to this hasn't started therapy or is like, starting on that journey, like, you might not like the first one. That's okay. You're going find another one? Yeah, they're not all the same. Yeah, and even even good therapists might not be the best fit for one person or other like I have. I have a friend whose therapist talks a lot about her own life. Mm hmm. And I don't think I would like that. Like, I prefer having like a therapist who is sort of neutral and who I don't know that much about what they're dealing with in their marriage.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I don't like that either. Like, if you want to interject and tell me one or two things that are helpful, but otherwise, I'm like, I'm paying you so I can talk. Because I feel like that's what I need.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and like just not wanting to have anybody's anybody else's stuff skew how you think about your own stuff, if that makes sense?
Michele Baci
Yeah, it's not a therapy swap. It's like, I'm still your client.
Unknown Speaker
you swap
Michele Baci
if you want me to be your therapist, we can arrange that separately.
Hannah Fairchild
And I'm gonna need some training.
Michele Baci
Maybe a class? Um, what are you up to creatively these days?
Hannah Fairchild
So I've had a really hard time writing and quarantined same. I think I'm a lot of the creatives that I talked to are having a really hard time making new stuff right now. I think partly it's because nothing is happening. So like, I don't have anything to talk about.
Michele Baci
I know we can only talk about our past or like, some deep fantasy fiction.
Hannah Fairchild
So I guess now is the time to write something that is definitely not real. Yeah. Which is hard for me is like a confessional singer, songwriter. My songs are
Michele Baci
about people. You could develop an alter ego.
Hannah Fairchild
Oh my god, like a like Sasha Fierce. Yeah. I need. Um, so one of the things that's been helping me is sort of to take the pressure off writing, I'm learning more technical stuff,
Michele Baci
like, audio, the audio space,
Hannah Fairchild
I've been learning, audio engineering, that's when you're Yeah, and when you're learning tricks, like, Oh, this is how you do auto tune. It's like, Okay, well, I should just, you know, put a cover song into logic now with guitar and vocals, and then I should auto tune it for practice. Oh, well, okay. Well, now it needs backup harmonies, okay, well, now I need to baseline like, and that's been, like learning all the cool stuff this new program can do has been really fulfilling. I'm also taking piano lessons, which probably I should be spending that money on therapy, but like, I want to take piano lessons.
Michele Baci
But you did therapy a few months ago. So switch it up.
Hannah Fairchild
Hopefully, I will be able to do both of those things soon. And I think so working on something that's like art adjacent without having the pressure on it to be like you need to write a musical right now has has made me feel like more in a creative space, which I think is like, solid advice. For any creative. It's like, okay, you. You can't write right now. So learn how to do something.
Michele Baci
Yeah, keep your creative brain active, like be doing something in that sphere. But it doesn't have to be writing if you don't feel like writing.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Michele Baci
Are you? Are you taking piano lessons,
Hannah Fairchild
I bought a keyboard with my holiday bonus that I got from my job. Nice. And I'm looking at him. He's over there. Like this is my little office quarter of my studio is like set up to be both my work desk and a recording studio. So like, here is my microphone. my guitar is right here. It's nice. But so my my friend kg, who is brilliant, teaches virtual piano lessons. And so he's in his house in Queens, with his piano and his iPad. I like set him up right next to my piano. And he'll be like, Okay, do this. And I'll do that. And then he'll teach me like, so I can see his keys and he can see mine. It's
Michele Baci
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I
like that. I'm glad we can like learn music virtually, like that can still translate over the internet.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, so that's been just, again, it's like I'm not doing something. It's not writing. But while I'm working on that, I'll have ideas for songs. Like while I'm working on this, I can see like, Oh, I could write a piano part for the song that was on guitar before. Like just things to get your brain working in that way again.
Michele Baci
And I think it's important, like as creative people, you give yourself time off if you feel like you need time off or go live your life in some way. Like, I know, we're living life in our houses right now. But like, as long as you're getting new experiences, you're doing something like learning new skills. You're still having that experience you could write about later if you want to.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and I think it's one thing that I keep forgetting is that like it's a global pandemic. And up until recently, we had a terrifying president. Now we have a president who I wouldn't have picked but fine.
Michele Baci
He's like boring. in the best way possible.
Hannah Fairchild
It's like I voted for him like,
Michele Baci
I support him. Yeah,
Hannah Fairchild
it's certainly better than the last one. Um,
Michele Baci
he's definitely he's surprising me all the time with like, the Cabinet picks and everything. So I feel like he has a great team.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, he's doing better than I thought he would. He's not like doing everything I wanted. But like, it's, we're off to an okay start.
Michele Baci
Yeah, we're definitely on a better path. Yeah, we've been living through some pretty like, globally traumatizing times. And it makes sense if you can't function the way you normally can. Like, everything was real scary and continues to be real scary. And just because we've kind of gotten used to it doesn't mean it's not so bad. I feel like life has never felt more fragile. Like we're constantly reminded how easy it is to get sick to you know how close death is. This is like my own dark view of it. But I I constantly am like, what do I really want to do? That's what I should be doing. Like, I should not be wasting my time at all.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I, I I'll be like lying in bed at night and be like, Oh, no, but if my mom gets sick, oh, no.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I feel you. But that's not productive. They say it's not productive to like, worry too much. I've heard you could like worry. On a timer, like give yourself 10 minutes, 20 minutes to just worry about everything. And then when that timer goes off, you're done. Like you're back to life. It kind of helped try that. I think I heard her from Kumar's wife, Emily. Oh, she was she was Emily. Emily Gordon. Yeah, so she was saying on her podcast, like, have a freakout moment, set a timer, 20 minutes, freak out about everything in your head. And then when that timer goes off, back to your day, like that's hopefully that spills it out of your head a little bit. Yeah, try to worry try to worry about your family on a timer.
Hannah Fairchild
Especially like being in between therapists right now like having little coping mechanisms like that. Like I, I do not do it as often as I would like but I do try to like journal in the mornings and I try to like write down good things that happened every day and like I read Tarot. So I tried to like revive draw tarot card for myself every day and I put it on my desk, so I can look at it. Like,
Michele Baci
those are great routines. I do the journaling when I can, but the Tarot thing is cool, too. I feel like that's like something to look forward to.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I do not do it every day, partly because I just don't have a good space in my apartment for it to happen. But I did today. I was like, I'm gonna be talking about mental health for several hours, I should do my mental health routine.
Michele Baci
Which cards did you draw if you if you want to share?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, so I have the deck that I'm using right now is called the Muse Tarot. So it's a slightly different interpretation of the cards. And the card I have today is the three of inspiration, which in most decks would be the three of wands, and it's really pretty this deck, and it's um, it's like, what kind of like watercolors on it? Yeah, it's watercolors. And then it's this really, it's a drawing of a girl and she has sort of like dominoes falling into place all around her. And a door that she seems like she's trying to open and it's the the gist of this card is kind of like slow and steady wins the race. It's like you're making progress. It might not be as fast as you wanted it to be. But don't worry, you're still having the intention is still part of the journey, basically. So that was a nice card to get today.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I love the interpretation. Also the visual of it. Yeah, sounds beautiful.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it's just a nice thing to look at everyday because this deck of cards is so beautiful, I think. What is the name of the woman who makes these cards? I can't remember. I was like all shout her out. It's called the Muse Tarot. If you look it up online, you can find that if you're interested.
Michele Baci
I'll check it out. I know a few people who are into Tarot. It's, it's definitely like one of those things where like, maybe it grounds you a little bit. And yeah, like points you in the right direction gives you a little bit of meaning when you're looking for meaning.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and like my, my way of reading cards, and my sort of, like interpretation of it is it's like it's not going to tell you anything you don't already know. It's not good. If they can't, it's not predicting the future. It's just helping you organize your thoughts in a, like, a more sort of, like spiritual kind of way. Yeah. So like them for that. That's so cool.
Michele Baci
I want to ask you, writing versus music if you could be like a famous musician, or a famous writer, which would you want to be if you could only choose one.
Hannah Fairchild
I think I would go brighter, which is weird, because I'm also like, primarily a singer.
Michele Baci
But that involves writing as a songwriter.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I mean, the The lyrics are the most important thing for me in music. And they're the first thing I write like, I don't start songs unless I have some kind of place where I want to take it lyrically. So the words are so key and like, I just I remember, just like a lot of times I'll have people be like, Oh, I love this song. And they'll play the song for me and I'm like, how could you possibly like this song? And I like it so interesting. And I'm like, but these lyrics are garbage.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I feel like if the lyrics totally suck, it's it's hard to redeem that song. Yeah, same is Is that your is that your primary focus of writing? Do you mostly want to write songs?
Hannah Fairchild
I'm have really found the most success with writing songs. I when I was younger, I tried to write poems and novels and short stories and plays. And none of it just clicked the way that writing a song did what I was, I didn't start writing music until I was like 23. And when I finally realized that was like, a thing that I could do, it was just like, Oh, wait, I could have been okay, we do this now.
Michele Baci
Yeah, which is super 23 is super young. But I know what you mean, where you're like, why did it take me so long to get to that realization?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And like, when I was in high school in college, I would like take existing songs and rewrite the lyrics to be about my life. Like, I didn't send that out loud. Obviously, that was strictly inside my head. But like, I don't know why it took me so long to realize that I could just do that for real. Like we I own.
Michele Baci
That's so cool. Do you? Do you want to write songs for other people at all? Or do you always want to like make them your own?
Hannah Fairchild
That's kind of an interesting segue. So my primary project is my band, Hannah versus the many those are like songs I write for me. However, two years ago, I started a songwriting project called major minor, which is actually based on the Tarot. So the way it works is I sit down with a singer, and I say, I draw a card for them. And then we do a kind of like a chat about what the card means and whether it brings up a story for them and what they think of this idea thing, and then I write a song for that singer based on the card. Oh, yeah. And it's, it's gotten super stalled because of COVID. But I'm actually I'm in the process of recording, like a song that I wrote a year ago, and my friend is making a recording of it, so we can put it up on YouTube. So that's, like, that's the next thing. But like they if you go to my YouTube channel, you can find like, Maya, I drew the Hierophant, from my friend, Jenna, that was the first one. And that cards about like, the traditional interpretation is like a religious teacher, but can be just like an authority figure, and immediately just like brought up the story from her about how her nephew had just been born. And she isn't his godmother because she's no longer religious. But she still feels like a very important, like protective feeling for this kid and how she wants him to grow up and know that he belongs and knows that he's loved. And so I wrote her a lullaby for her nephew. And that's a sweet, it's not, yeah, and it's not a song I ever would have written for myself. But I got to write it for Jenna. And it's been a really cool way to like, collaborate with other people. And yeah,
Michele Baci
I love that concept, too, like, a tarot card must be drawn. And then it elicits some kind of like, memory story. I feel like that's a great process.
Hannah Fairchild
It's been a really fun project. So far, I'm excited to get back into it. And then I'm also I'm theoretically working on a musical theater piece, which I'll write the rest of someday, there's like two songs done. All right, the rest of them, I will definitely write the rest of those songs someday.
Michele Baci
Keep saying that over and over again, that you you will
Hannah Fairchild
be there's like things to work on up on the wall over my desk here.
Michele Baci
So are they like written out goals or like the actual project written?
Hannah Fairchild
The two things up right now are an EP that I'm trying to write for the band and then another EP, that I want to try and produce myself in logic, so like, there's a sixth sign up that I'm trying to get written so that I can record it when we get out of lockdown, and I have access to my bandmates again. So I can have like, bass that isn't bad and drums and logic. But then I like I'm also eventually want to work on a project that's going to be like an electronica album, cuz I want to try and make it all myself in software and see if I can do music that way. That's cool. I
Michele Baci
know you were saying you're getting into since
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. I have a keyboard. It's like, Ooh, this makes funny sound. Nice.
Michele Baci
And what what's your YouTube channel? So you can find it?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, everywhere. I'm Hannah versus the many. So like, that's don't don't search Hannah versus the many on YouTube go to youtube.com slash Hannah versus the many for reasons I don't understand. I don't show up in the search results. Really? Yeah, like old videos of me playing music and bars when I'm like 25. Or the first thing they show up and you don't get taken by actual channel. It's very irritating.
Michele Baci
But is it Hannah versa? Many with a vs period, no period,
Hannah Fairchild
no period just be and also check it out somewhere else.
Michele Baci
It's so like, maybe algorithm dependent. I don't know why search engines have it the way they do.
Hannah Fairchild
Literally the first search result or like it was a few weeks ago is a video from a guy I hate who took the video without my consent and put it on his YouTube channel without telling me and I would tell him to take it down, but I would have to talk to him. So
Michele Baci
maybe you could send him a cease and desist letter.
Hannah Fairchild
Excuse me, this does not belong to you.
Michele Baci
That seems like some bad juju flying around.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I mean, hopefully karma will catch up with this manifest.
Michele Baci
I hope so. Sorry. Who? What are some musical artists? You think we should listen to you besides Anna versus the money? What are you obsessed with?
Hannah Fairchild
What am I obsessed with? Okay, um, my like, sort of like, holy trinity of idols like people who I'm just like I want to be these people when I grow up are Joni Mitchell, Kate Bush and Nikko case? Okay, and I feel like everybody knows.
Michele Baci
I don't know Kate Bush.
Hannah Fairchild
Kate Bush is so weird. She started in like the late 70s. And her music is just her lyrics are incredible. Her voice is super weird. Like she has like the super rangy voice. Have you ever heard this on weathering heights about weathering heights? I don't think so. Okay, that's her like big hit that people have heard. And it was like one of her I think it was her first single
Michele Baci
off to go listen to it. See if I know it.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, she signed to the label when she was 17. And she did a couple of albums. But then she didn't like not having control over her music. So she like broke her contract, built a recording studio and like her parents yard, and then made all these weird albums that she produced herself. And she's an incredible lyricist, and she's super prolific and like, Wow, she's just my absolute hero. She's the first music I ever hear. I remember hearing as a kid was when my dad played her albums for me in the car. So yeah, that's awesome. Everyone should okay push
Michele Baci
to talk about being self sufficient. building your own recording studio in a yard?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, that's like all of my musical heroes are people who were like, Nope, just gonna make music. Don't don't care about you know, Joni Mitchell was very much the same way. She was like, Nope, I'm just gonna do my songs my way. hope everyone's fine with that, because that's how it's happening.
Michele Baci
That is a true artist. And you know what, that's how you break out of the system. Yeah, I've heard like, I think you're kind of doing this to, it's better to learn as much as you can about like how to make the music you want to make, how to produce it, how to get it out there. Because if you rely on other people, like you're, you're going to be tied up and other people and the business and PR bureaucracy along the way.
Hannah Fairchild
And especially like there are so many, there aren't a lot of women, audio engineers. So if you're going into an album like and I, the men who who've produced my albums so far, who's like, engineered them, for me, have been great. But it it's a different field, either being able to do it yourself or working with a woman that it is working with a man like, yes, even if it's the best band in the world. And the two men who were helped to record have are two of the best men I know. And it's still a different feeling than working on something with a woman.
Michele Baci
They just don't understand that part of you. So it's always like missing something.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and it's also just like a little bit of I feel really insecure and music spaces a lot even now.
Because they're so male focused, but also because I'm primarily a singer. And I feel like that's not enough for some people like,
Michele Baci
like, I should be able to do it all.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, or like, being a singer doesn't count as being a real musician. It's like, Oh, well, anybody can sing, though. And it's like, ah, performance and I,
you know,
can sing good.
Yeah, I
have a lot of technical skills that I spent literally two decades learning.
Michele Baci
Yeah, you just have to, like amplify that voice and be like, No, I am a musician. I, you know, I'm a professional. It's hard to like, have to prove yourself over and over again. We shouldn't you shouldn't be doing that. So
Hannah Fairchild
yeah, and even even in like, again, like rooms where I, the men do not think that like the men aren't thinking hand is just a woman her opinion doesn't count or handle doesn't know what she's talking about. Because she's a woman, that feeling I still have that feeling that I need to prove myself.
Michele Baci
Mm hmm.
Hannah Fairchild
And it's, it creates this weird dynamic, where it's like, I feel like I need to, you know, impress you somehow. And I don't Yeah, which is distracting from the actual goal of making.
Michele Baci
I think that's the way women do things. I think we feel the need to impress to like, you know, bring it to a 10 all the time. Yeah, men don't
Hannah Fairchild
that perfectionism is always there for Yeah,
Michele Baci
like living with Joseph has really opened up my eyes to like the differences between men and women. Where I'm like, this is how the two of us approach our day to day our jobs, like our social calendars, and I i personally, like obsess over everything, try to make everything perfect, spend so much time on every little detail. And he does kind of the opposite. So it's just like, so funny to be like, you know, what our definitions of you know, acceptable perfection are and they're totally different directions. So I feel like whatever you freak out, like this man thinks he's better than me. He thinks he's better than everyone. That's usually usually their point of view.
Hannah Fairchild
Words of wisdom, just, yeah, a standard standard issue.
Michele Baci
If you just think if you think like a white straight male You'll think you're better than everyone else. And that's just how they approach the world. So
Hannah Fairchild
I just can't imagine approaching the world with that kind of confidence.
Michele Baci
It's wild.
I don't know,
Hannah Fairchild
good for them,
Michele Baci
I guess. I wonder if it's also like your anxiety to where you're like you feel like fine tune everything. Until it's as good as it can be like, I feel like I have that with whatever anxiety I have.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, like that's, that's one of the things that's been nice about this sort of like journey into starting to write musical theater music, because that process is different. With musical theater music, you start in a place and you expect the song to change, that song might get cut, that song might get completely rewritten that song might start out being for this character, and then get reassigned to a totally different character. So I feel a lot better about, like, things don't need to be in their finished form. Whereas when I write a song for the band, I feel very much like I need to have everything done. At least between the lyrics and the guitar part before I play it for the guys who play in my band, like it needs to be perfect for my end, my part of it needs to be completely without flaw. And that
Michele Baci
which I totally get, because you're creating that part. So you don't want anyone to mess with it until you feel like it's done.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and especially with lyrics like I'll sit on almost finished songs for months. And it's like, oh, wait, no, this word rhymes.
Michele Baci
It came to me.
Hannah Fairchild
It came to me on the subway usually wishes another reason why I'm not writing right now is because I don't have access to the subway. Isn't it weird
Michele Baci
to miss the subway? where you're like, I never thought it would, I would miss this like, infected train, but I do.
Hannah Fairchild
And like I listened to way less music in LA and lockdown because I usually listen to music on the train. Like That was my time for listening to music, checking out new bands, like, looking for inspiration for tracks stuff like that. And now I'm just like, Oh, I haven't listened to music in a while.
Michele Baci
Yeah, your idle time has, you know, it's it's different now it's like in the house. So
Hannah Fairchild
yeah. And I like having like people talking on so like I listen to podcasts or I'll have on like television shows or stuff in the background because it's like even listening to music feels like I'm alone whereas having a no criminal minds going in the background. It's like oh, my friends are here.
Michele Baci
Yeah. That's so funny. I feel the same way where I'm like, I need I need to pretend like I'm in a room with people listen to a podcast or I need to kind of zone out then I'll put on music but I also Yeah, I miss idle time of commuting where I could like focus like this is my podcast time this is my music time. Reading whatever.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah,
Michele Baci
it's a weird thing to miss.
Hannah Fairchild
I miss just walking around New York with like, pump up music playing like just like it's a beautiful day. I'm you know wearing a sundress. I am playing lizzo very loud. And I am the star of my own movie today.
Michele Baci
Do you have a like a confidence playlists you put on before you have a shower or something?
Hannah Fairchild
Not I I have kind of like a warm up ritual where I play the song origin of love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
Michele Baci
Okay, I don't know it, but Oh,
Hannah Fairchild
it's a really beautiful song. Um, but yeah, it kind of depends on the mood I'm in if I'm getting ready, like sometimes I'll throw on like Pat Benatar. What else do I like for pump up music? I I am an unabashed Taylor Swift Fan. So I will 100% put on Taylor Swift albums if I need to, like kashia is another good one. It's like these are all also good things to D stigmatize, like, let's
Michele Baci
let's embrace Taylor Swift. Let's embrace kashia
Hannah Fairchild
100% embrace both of them. They are both wonderful. Yeah, I saw cache alive and it was great.
Michele Baci
Nice. I've only come around to Taylor Swift recently. So I'm constantly telling myself it's okay that you like her music?
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, well, I think Yeah, I have been a Taylor Swift Fan for a while. And during the thing with Kanye, I was like, Oh, I don't know about Taylor Swift now, although it seemed like they were. I don't think anybody behaved well during that time. If that I think I think everyone really shot the bed in terms of the Taylor Swift. Kanye West.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I mean, for me, Kanye is usually not the guy I'm siding with. But I it was a weird time for sure. Yeah, I
Hannah Fairchild
felt the same way. I was like, Oh, I
don't siding with Kanye.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I feel like he just he speaks so unfiltered. I'm always like, I don't know if I could take any of this seriously, but okay.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. And I think I think he probably has some mental health stuff that he's grappling with.
Michele Baci
I think that's pretty well documented at this point. And like, he's like, he's famously not on meds for bipolar disorder. So like, that's one thing.
Hannah Fairchild
And he's incredibly talented. And I wish that he was getting the help that he needs because I worried that he's like, yeah, I worry that he's getting in his own way now.
Michele Baci
Yeah, I don't know. I have blocked him on Twitter for so long. I would have to have to go back and see what he's up to. But he's an interest I like as a cultural icon.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah,
Michele Baci
but Okay, anyway, I
Unknown Speaker
love Taylor Swift.
Michele Baci
What else? She yeah I like how she's putting out quarantine albums.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, but she just wrote ended entirely in quarantine and they're both amazing. Like, I'm sure okay Taylor Swift whatever.
Michele Baci
Well, she's probably bored like the rest of us.
Hannah Fairchild
And she does not have to have a day job. Nor does she have to be worrying about being on an unemployment as a lot of people are so I guess it's kind of the least thing she could the least she could do. albums for us to
Michele Baci
listen. For praising to bashing Taylor Swift.
Hannah Fairchild
She's, she's she's doing her part. She's
Michele Baci
flawed like all of us. What else is in your warmup routine? I'm trying to think of what I can copy from you. Because right now I just listen to Liz Oh, before I do a comedy show. My ego she's like, you can do it.
Hannah Fairchild
Pat Benatar I'm gonna say has a lot of like, Oh, I love Carly Rae Jepsen to
Michele Baci
Carly Rae Jepsen. Oh, she's
Unknown Speaker
so good. If you listen to emotions,
Michele Baci
that ABS rules. No, I saw her in real life. Two years ago, she was auditioning for some music show. Oh, so it's weird. You bring her up? Oh,
Hannah Fairchild
I really like her.
Michele Baci
She's the Friday girl right?
Unknown Speaker
No, no, that's
Michele Baci
Rebecca Brock. Oh, Rebecca, Rebecca Black.
Hannah Fairchild
No, no, not the same. Color. Jepsen is called me maybe and also has put out some I was like, wait, Carly Rae Jepsen audition for something. Surely she's beyond that. No,
Michele Baci
I was confusing her with rebeccablack. My mistake.
Hannah Fairchild
I think like do I have any other
Michele Baci
playlists on here? That makes sense. So I feel like you're describing the perfect like, gay male like excited girl playlist. It's perfect.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah. Let's say Nicki Minaj is on here. buncha like 90 stuff. Christina Aguilera. cardi B.
Michele Baci
Did you watch the Brittany documentary?
Hannah Fairchild
I haven't been able to yet.
Michele Baci
I want to watch it. It seems like it's gonna be a hard one. Oh,
Hannah Fairchild
yeah. That's the thing is it? Like I I'm having trouble watching anything. I haven't. I'm having trouble watching new stuff in quarantine. The exception being one division, which I watch the second I get up every Friday. I am I am Oh, I am up to date. But anything that's gonna make me think too much or feel feelings I've kind of been avoiding. And I know the Brittany documentary is gonna, like be a really hard watch, especially as musicians. So like,
Michele Baci
yeah, it's hard to watch those dramatic, serious stories right now. I feel like I really have to space them out and be like, Where's my palate cleanser? Like, what am I watching after this?
Hannah Fairchild
It's like, Okay, I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna watch this very serious HBO show. And then I'm going to watch several hours of YouTube.
Michele Baci
I will watch more HGTV.
Hannah Fairchild
Oh, God. Yes. I've watched so much.
Unknown Speaker
in quarantine.
Michele Baci
It's good for you good for your mental health.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah,
Michele Baci
I have one more question that we could spend the wheel. Because I cut you off earlier. You were saying? You got to New York. And you felt like,
Hannah Fairchild
Oh, yeah. Um, I just felt like, like that change of environment felt key. And I don't know if it was like something that I changed without realizing it. But it suddenly felt like people reacted to me differently. So in Minnesota, I always felt like people were it may have been that I was in theater School, where people look at your flaws, and then talk about them constantly. But
Michele Baci
yeah, probably a lot of gossip going on.
Hannah Fairchild
Oh, God, it was so bad. Um, but I feel like I went from an environment where people focused on everything that was wrong with me, it was like, you're too loud. You're too sensitive. You You know, you need to do this better. You need to do that better. yet. You're negative. You don't fit in when I'm, yeah. And then when I moved to New York, it was like I said, I was not a different person. But people were like, Oh, you're so smart. And you're so kind and that you are so punctual. And you know, you You're such a good co worker in the restaurant, and we know that you'll always help and things like that. It was like I was exact same person. But for the first time in my life, people were focusing on the things that I was doing right instead of the things that I was doing wrong.
Michele Baci
Yeah, people were more open accepting. Yeah, not evil.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, and, like, you know, it's a lot easier to be optimistic and happy and open. Like I feel I was, especially in college. I was super closed off just from everybody and like, as a result did not have a lot of friends in college because like, I just got like a wall up. And moving to New York. I had just like, it just said, for the first time in my life, making friends and being around people was easy.
Michele Baci
Yeah, that's nice to hear because I feel like New Yorkers get a bad rap for being unhappy. mean like dismissive, but then once you get to know someone, if you break down the like the first barrier, people are pretty warm and inviting once you actually get into their their little circle
Hannah Fairchild
100% and like, yet New Yorkers are rude to strangers who talk to them, like anyone who wants man on the subway. Yeah, tries to like, get me to pull my headphones off, I'm not gonna do that. But if I'm at a party, and someone is like, Hi, I'm friends with Michele, I'll be like, I love Michele. And then we'll have a conversation about high ratio or
Michele Baci
what I love and miss about New York is like people are down to hang like they are out for the night. They are trying to stay out until they like really can't anymore. Whereas in LA, everyone like has other agendas, or like working on film stuff like you have have to be asleep by 10 o'clock. So I feel like in New York, there's way more odd, there's way more time to socialize.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, like I it's just another thing that I miss. And then thing that I talked about with my musician, friends All the time, it's just like, you, you go to your friends gig. But before that, you're going to meet up with your other friend and you're going to have a drink or two, and then you're going to go to the venue and then everybody's down to hang. So you're going to go to a different bar, and then your friend lives nearby. So we're going to go set up their room for a while, like just like the wandering around through the East Village with a bunch of people. Some of them were carrying musical instruments that are very heavy, like, yeah, you wake up at a diner, it's 3am you meet a friend at the diner, you talk there like,
Michele Baci
it's never it never stops. It's like always exciting and which is why it's so expensive. But if you have friends at some point and go to the friend's house, and you can save money for a little bit.
Hannah Fairchild
That is always the clutch part of the night is when you can retreat to someone's home, or the alcohol is much cheaper.
Michele Baci
Yeah. We can sit down maybe,
Unknown Speaker
oh, god sitting down.
Michele Baci
I missed that. I brought Joseph to New York last year. And I remember like stringing him around place to place. I was like, we got to see friends. We got to go to the museum. We got to eat here. And he was he got sick really quickly. He was like, Oh, he's like, I thought we were gonna be on vacation. Oh, yeah. I feel
Hannah Fairchild
like there are places where you go on vacation. And there are places where you don't need to be another word for going to a place like New York. Yeah, I was like, don't go you don't come to relax.
Michele Baci
I did not explain to him like I wasn't there to relax. I was there to like, do everything I could in the span of time we were there.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, like and that's just generally how I travel like I do. I have never been to a place where the point of it was to like lie on the beach. I get so bored after an hour of lying on the beach. And I'm like, Can we jet ski?
Michele Baci
I don't I'm not gonna lie on the beach. either. I tried to go for the picture. And like you know that that hour of solitude but then I'm like, pretty much done with
Hannah Fairchild
like, you get to the beach. You have that moment of like, Oh, it's so nice here. And then after 45 minutes, like can we go get shrimp?
Michele Baci
I think we should get shrimp. Where's the next step?
Hannah Fairchild
Exactly. Yeah.
Michele Baci
You're making me miss the city. Okay, we're at the edge here.
Hannah Fairchild
All right. Oh, my God, you have a full on wheel. That's amazing. Have a
Michele Baci
full wheel.
It's it's a basic bitch wheel. But it works. I will give you a spin. See where it lands. What have you learned lately? Oh, I could be a skill or like something in your life.
Hannah Fairchild
This is gonna sound really stupid. And lockdown is I can hang shelves now. I can't do that. on shelves. And now that I have an apartment. I'm like, Oh, well, this should have a shelf on it. And I can do that now and like do the level and like hang things since it doesn't look great. But like I can do it.
Michele Baci
That's a huge life skill.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, I've learned to cook some things in quarantine that I had never done before I made pita bread. Oh no, I made not. I made naan bread a couple of weeks ago.
Michele Baci
That sounds awesome.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, it was okay.
Michele Baci
I was gonna ask how to come out the first time.
Hannah Fairchild
It was at a brain Yeah. And like, just don't have like a mental emotional level, though. I guess the most important thing I learned was like how much I do need contact with people. And how to sort of facilitate that while like, you know, I'm not a kind of person who can withdraw and retreat, I need to be able to like, reach out to people and be in contact with them. And like, figuring that out about myself and taking steps like, okay, you're doing that thing again, where your brain spirals, you need to call a friend. You need to text somebody and make them talk to you. You need to go on Twitter and harass somebody. They're like you need to reach out.
Michele Baci
Yeah, yeah, that just knowing that has that always surprises me to where I'm like, No, I need I need people. I need to go talk to people. I need to like make them talk to me. Otherwise, I will not feel good.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, otherwise my brain will collapse.
Michele Baci
Otherwise I will. I feel like my brain is always like, deteriorating. I think it does in lockdown because we are losing parts of our lives that keep our brain active. So talking to people is one way to keep it alive.
Hannah Fairchild
Yeah, playing a game. Something nice.
Michele Baci
Well, Hannah, we're at the end. And I think he told everyone where to find you. But tell us again just so I can keep it at the end all nice and with a bow
Hannah Fairchild
with a bow. But yeah, all my social media handles are Hannah vs the many no dots just Hannah versus the many Twitter Instagram. tik tok although I'm barely on tik tok because I feel like I'm not young and cool enough to be on tik tok.
Michele Baci
I will find you on tik tok.
Hannah Fairchild
I use it a lot. I have not posted very many videos. And yeah, I'm
Unknown Speaker
you know, if
Hannah Fairchild
you want to listen to the music, it's all on Spotify under Hannah versus the many. And as soon as we get vaccinated, I'm excited to go back into the studio. So I'm hoping to have new music up at the end of the year. Fingers crossed.
Michele Baci
I can't wait to hear it. And next time I'm in New York, we will go be in the city. Walking around together, I
Unknown Speaker
hope. Yes, please. That
Hannah Fairchild
would be so wonderful.
Michele Baci
Well, thanks, Hannah. This was so much fun. Yeah, thank
Hannah Fairchild
you so much for having me. All right.
Michele Baci
This has been Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent. If you liked this episode, the best way to help the podcast is by leaving a review especially on iTunes because iTunes is still the Big Daddy of the podcast game. But leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts, rate me five stars if you think I'm worth it, and rate subscribe, tell your friends word of mouth will really get the podcast off the ground. So just tell people about it. If you know friends who are into mental health or comedy, or both, or you think they could use a little comedy in their life, hey, we all know people like that right? The more people you tell, the more this podcast will grow. So please tell people about Therapy Roulette. And something else you can do that's fun is if you're listening and take a screenshot of the episode, share it on social media tag me on Instagram, Twitter, my handles are down below and I'll repost you and give you a shout out. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back with a new episode next Thursday
Theme Song
Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you don’t have problems, then you’re likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Who’s not me)