Therapy Roulette

Instead of Therapy, You Can Start a Podcast w/ Erica Tafavoti

April 08, 2021 Michele Baci / Erica Tafavoti Season 1 Episode 128
Therapy Roulette
Instead of Therapy, You Can Start a Podcast w/ Erica Tafavoti
Show Notes Transcript

Michele vents about holiday traditions and the ongoing stress in her life, including her search to buy a house. 

Today’s guest is Erica Tafavoti, a digital marketer and host of the mental health podcast Unwell with Erica. She spills about her first consultation with a therapist and how it didn’t go the way she expected. They discuss the process of starting therapy, including getting a diagnosis, finding the right person to work with, and seeking out an older therapist with experience. Erica talks about moving to Portland and starting her food blog as a hobby and a way to make new friends. The ladies vent about marketing their podcasts and finding guests on Reddit. Erica tells us about an awkward IRL encounter and a heart-warming story about a man finding love on Nextdoor.  

Therapy Roulette is switching to a biweekly format- episodes drop every other Thursday.

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Theme music by Hannah Fairchild

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Consent to Vent / If you dont have problems, then youre likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Whos not me) hey, party people, I hope you're not partying. That was a joke. My name is Michele Baci. Welcome back to another episode of Therapy Roulette consent to vent where I give you permission to laugh and bitch about your trauma. So I switched the podcast to biweekly scheduling, which means the episode will drop every other Thursday. And I thought doing that with cut me some slack, because I've been operating on burnout mode and struggling to do everything at once work life, relationship house, you know, goals, podcasts, I couldn't do it all. And so I'm hoping every other Thursday will give me some peace of mind. But what I've done, and I think I tend to do this everywhere is I've replaced a weekly podcast with every other week podcast. And because I have a little bit more free time, I'm just filling it with another stressful activity, which is looking for a house to buy with my boyfriend, Joseph. I mean, we were looking for a house before this. But now we were we're like approved for our loan, we've cranked up the search, and to buy a house in today's real estate market in Southern California, you have to be on it, like glued to your computer. And so I've just I've just replaced podcasting with another stressful activity. And hopefully it's an investment that pays off when we do get one to live in. But oh boy, I am I'm burnt out. I'm like a piece of toast that you don't want to eat. I don't know how to relax and I have to like take a bubble bath or do something because my brain is just a pile of ooze bubbling over boiling Hots, someone helped me if you have ideas for how to relax, please drop me a line at Therapy roulette@gmail.com. You could complain about something that's going on in your life, something that's going on in therapy, or what you wish you could talk about in therapy, share your problems, share your trauma with me, so I could commiserate with you maybe read it on air, I would love to hear from you, Therapy roulette@gmail.com. Also, if you're listening, and you have not yet left a review for the podcast, please leave us a review. It really helps get the word out that Therapy Roulette is something people should listen to. It helps it climb the charts on Apple podcasts and Spotify. I don't know if there are charts on Spotify. But maybe, but the reviews are how people find out they want to listen, right. So you can either review on the app you're listening to. Or you can go to rate this podcast.com slash therapy. And that gives you a little link where you can click to leave a review. It really helps say something nice, something sweet. It takes you 10 seconds. It's no big deal. And it really goes a long way. So yeah, I'm dealing with having enough free time. I would like to vent for a second about holidays because it was just Easter. And if you've been listening to Therapy Roulette since the beginning, on our very first episode, Episode 101. With Kelly Mohen, we talk about the pressures in our families, to do a big Christmas to do a big holiday tradition, bake all the cookies, play all the games, gather all the relatives from many different places into one home. And the pressure that puts on you especially as an adult coming into your family as like, you know, a 30 something adult you feel like you're really carrying that pressure now because it's almost your turn to like host the big events and put up the tree and sing the carols or whatever you're doing. I think with the Coronavirus, it's just been like, you know, an extra ton of weight on me to perform and holidays like we're hanging out with Joseph's family in California. I'm zooming with my family in New York, we have to cook an elaborate meal, we have to dress up we have to look nice, we have to like do the thing all day. And it's a lot like I can't wait for this pandemic to be over. I am on board to jump on a plane and travel somewhere for the next year of holidays for sure. Like take me to Hawaii, take me to Paris. Get me out of the traditions. I think we should be making new traditions and breaking out the things that we don't enjoy. Like if you're just obligatory, fulfilling what you think your family expects, what you think your family wants of you and you're not enjoying any part of it. Don't do that thing. You know, stop baking those hard. Not that tasty cookies if you don't really like the cookies. I don't know, I'm going to start breaking out of traditions. I feel like in COVID times I've really felt more incompletes and felt more like a shell of a person. Just because I am in California where I don't know a lot of people. So I feel like I've been holding on to this idea like, oh, if I if I was just home with my family, everything would be perfect. And no, of course, it wouldn't be, I would still be equally miserable, I would just be in New York with my family. So if you're miserable, and you're doing something you don't want to do. Here's a really hot tip. And this might just enlighten you enough to set you free. Stop doing the thing you hate, and do something else. Try something new. I'm going to take my own advice because it's hard to break out of habits. But you know what sometimes like family pressure really puts too much on me. And I already put so much pressure on myself. So I'm going to set myself free. And I hope you do too. Check out the first episode with Kelly if you want to hear more about how big Irish Catholic families parade through the holidays because we we get pretty into it. On today's episode I talk with Erica taffer voti about her podcast she also hosts a mental health podcast her job as a marketer her life in Portland and we get into it Erica Tafavoti guest interview / a friend for you / strangers whose issues are relatable / guest interview / They're the voice that's new / this person has problems and they don't mind discussing it, but they still need a therapist/ (Whos not me) I'm here with Erica. She is a digital marketer by day and then she also hosts a mental health podcast called unwell with Erica. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, of course. I love the painted wall behind you. It looks so Oh, thank you professional. Yeah, it's, it's okay, I went kind of crazy with the color because we had this is actually the same color as our dining room downstairs and I had extra pain. And once I realized I realized this was going to be my home office. I just went crazy with the paint. But what I didn't consider is that while I love the color, it is not great over zoom, totally washes my face out. And I didn't even consider I've moved my desk like every corner of this office to try to find a space with good light, which I live in Portland. So the lighting is quite finicky. And I think eventually this wall will be getting some changes to it right behind me. I want to keep the keep the blue but I think I might do some shelter or something to kind of break it up because freight adds a lot of lighting. Oh my face, I like it. I think it's good for Zoom, I always have a clutter problem in my apartment because I've just like I'm dealing with like, I don't know, the start of a hoarding problem. I don't know what's happening. I can't seem to clean and put things away. So whenever I'm on zoom for other people, I'm like, just don't look at the background. avert your eyes. I have the opposite problem where I have like nothing behind me. And I think it almost looks weirder that I don't have this room. It's still really bear because I kind of have it in my head that this is not going to be my office long term even though I've been in it for a year. Yeah. And so I'm very reluctant to decorate it because I'm like, Oh, this will just be a spare bedroom. Eventually, this isn't going to be my office forever. Eventually, I'm gonna have a bed in here and we'll have guests and I have just sort of been, like I said very reluctant to put things on here. I do have a spin bike off camera. So that's, that's good. Okay, I had a mini fridge in here for my kombucha, which is like the most Portland sometimes I can imagine saying, but I drink kombucha to your good. I love it. And I was filling out my fridge and I was like, I have a home office now I'll get a little fridge for it. But the hum was so noticeable. Actually, on the last episode of mine that I recorded. I listened to it. I was like, Oh my god, I can just hear that little fridge humming in the background. It drives me nuts. So that's interesting. Yeah, I got moved to the other room. Not but not the best for the audio. No, no. And I didn't even consider it. And I heard it kick on. And I was just like, I don't think it'll be noticeable. And then I listened. And I mean, you know how it goes. You're the harshest critic of sound of your own production. Yeah, I've never been so picky about audio before starting a podcast. No, I didn't even know I hadn't even I had never opened I use GarageBand, which is probably the worst thing. I could use that in a podcast. And every time I read online about how to improve using GarageBand, half the comments are stop using GarageBand. It's better than using your phone. Yes. Yeah. I'm at least one step above that. Yeah. But it's Kelly's never. I had never opened any of these tools. I didn't know anything about audio. So quite an amateur. But you know, there are celebrities with worse audio quality than Oh, the celebrities are Yeah, they're the bottom of the barrel when it comes to quality control. It's horrible. But they don't have to care so Exactly, exactly. There's no pressure. They can Gotta get listeners either way, but you know, people like us, we got to we got to keep that audio quality on point. So it's, it's all I have. So I will keep trying. But I like that can be just spin bike if it's like the health and wellness vibe. So yeah, if you're like, yeah, it's moving into that office settling in? Yeah, yeah, I think it's gonna be it's gonna be semi permanent, so I should probably make it a little bit cozy. Well, I like the color. I wanted to talk about therapy, of course, is what we do on Therapy Roulette, at least have to ask, Are you in therapy? If so, how's it going? So I'm not currently seeing a therapist. However, I am seeking a therapist. Okay, you're on the lookout. I am on the hot. Yeah. So I just started the process a couple of weeks ago. And, and it takes a call my gosh, it takes a long time. And I think it's even worse right now. Because everyone needs a therapist right now. And so I found it's really slim pickings at the moment. And, and I also feel like every therapist needs a therapist. Right? More than ever. Yeah, it was very, I was very shocked by once you filter by, okay, who takes my insurance? Who is specialized and kind of what I'm looking for? And then I wanted to see a woman. I don't know, I think I might change that. I've been trying to figure out if I actually care about that or not. And I think it matters. Yeah, yeah, I think it I think I'll probably be more prone to being open to so I mean, it's not like it's not like seeing a male gynecologist like, that's a hard no for me. Male therapists is it? I don't know, I couldn't decide how I felt about it. But yeah, I think it really has to be like the right personality for me to feel like this man understands me. Right. And I do think long term. I do want to see someone in person, like post pandemic. Yeah, but I'm gonna levels you get in person that you can't match virtually. Right. And I think when you're working from home, especially, just, I don't want to go to therapy at my desk, like where I spend all day that just doesn't feel like I'm giving myself enough of a mental break. If I do that. Yeah. And it's kind of like, short and sweet in between, like that the beginning period, the waiting room period, the after drive home. Right? I need that reflection time, I think. But what I'm realizing is, I'm not sure that a lot of therapists I'm not I don't want to stereotype Portland by any means. But I think a lot of Portland therapists are probably not going to be the personality fit. But I, what's the personality you're looking for? It's hard. It's hard to find the right personality fit. It is it is and I am very much realizing that. But I think and this is also your first foray into seeking it there. Yes. Yes, it is. Yeah. So it's so yeah. And I realized I didn't. So I had like my first consultation with a therapist a couple of weeks ago. And just the process of I think I actually I filled out I found her on psychology today. And I filled out probably four or five forms, and oh, wow, you're doing your homework. Yeah. And of those, I got a couple of replies back that were just basically like, No, I'm not seeking or I'm not accepting new patients right now. Oh, and one person? Yeah, no. Okay. Like, okay, move on to the one person that replied to me. Hmm, she offered a free consultation, which I thought was great. I didn't know that was going to be part of the process. But she was like, I offer 30 minute consultations. Can you meet and like the times were like later that day, the next day or the next day? And I was like, Oh, god, I'm not like, ready. I wanted like, a couple days to think about it. Yeah. And I'm sorry, right in. Yeah. And so I picked one of those. And then she didn't get back to me until right before the time and was like, Oh, sorry, I gave that slot away. Here's some more slides. And I was like, Okay. And then I fixed another one. And then I didn't get a confirmation. And then she just sent me like a form a couple minutes before the time and was just like, okay, so get a few minutes fill out these forms first for like privacy purposes. Yeah. And I was like, okay, we can Yeah, this this is fine. And then just within a couple of minutes of talking with her, I was like, yeah, this isn't really the you could tell right away, and I'm looking I could Yeah, and I think that's good. At least you're like perceptive of what you're looking for. Right? And as someone who hasn't seen a therapist before she opened with the question. What are you looking for in a therapist, and I realized I just hadn't really prepped for that question. I didn't know. I don't know what I'm looking for. And then I was within a couple minutes of conversation being able to be like, I don't think it's you. But and that helped me like, check some boxes. I mean, it's like dating right? Like you that's similar. It's it's very easy to find someone and be like, I don't think you're the right fit. And here are some reasons why but I couldn't necessarily make a list of what is the who is the right fit? Yeah, I don't feel like I would know, when I know, I don't think it's easy to like, put into words or even come up with a concrete term, right? This is what I'm looking for. This is what I need help with, like, you can have some ideas, but whenever I've had ideas before seeking therapy, and then I get the therapy, and I'm in it, and during the sessions, everything changes. So yeah, I don't really know why I'm there. I'm just like, I need to talk to someone. Yeah, and one thing that was kind of odd about this interaction with this woman is she was sort of like, what were your, your triggers are like, why did you decide to seek out a therapist? I'm like, okay, I can answer that. So I listed off a couple of things that were going on with me in my life and, you know, pretty personal sad stuff that was going on. And she replied with. Yeah, 2020 has been a really hard year for everyone. And I was just like, Okay, I think they say that to be helpful. But it doesn't make you feel good. No, I was like, No shit. I know that, like we Oh, I should confirm I'm allowed. Oh, you can curse? I was like, I can use profanity. Was the boxes checked? Okay. As long as it's done with good intention. Through my pass, yeah, I'll do my best. But I yeah, I find that comforting. Slightly like Mo. I'm not the only one suffering and 2020. But also, it feels to general and I'm like, Wait, are you? Do you even know who I am? I right. Yeah, it can be a little dismissive. I think and the Yeah, they're just the exchange. So one thing that, you know, I mentioned I do eventually want to see someone in person is we have like a lot of technical audio issues. And I know before we started recording, we were talking about right as podcast host. You're quite sensitive to audio. Was it like a zoom consultation? Yes, yeah. Yeah. And it was all with some tool that was not it was like an N browser, some video shoot? Yeah, that's not. Right. Yes. And every time she would unmute herself, there would be this like roaring noise. And I thought it was a lawn mower, or a motorcycle outside of the window, because it was a window right by her. And so I finally I gave her a couple of passes. And then the third or fourth time I was like, is there I think something is happening outside of your window. And she was just like, What are you talking about? No, there's no, it's quiet here. Somebody Close the door. Is that what you're talking about? And I was like, No, this is not like a door. But this is like a is so loud. And I think she had something loose on her computer. Yeah, that could be that was rattling. I don't even speak up when stuff like that happens. I just like suffer. Yeah. And so that, and that's, that's what I told her as she was like, I don't she said I no one's mentioned this before. And I said it's definitely been happening. And I think you just have nice patience. Because I felt very confident that it was not me. It's not on my end. Yeah, no, unfortunately. Yeah. But I can't, I can't deal with that. That's just kind of the thing. You don't wanna worry about that. You're already there. That's good. you're stressed out should address the problem. Yeah. And be like, Hey, this is why I'm not going to continue with you or it's part of it. Yeah, so I actually spent the last almost half of the call, troubleshooting her audio and giving her suggestions for how to improve her. Yeah. That's funny. I tried to project manage, though. You gave her a consultation at the end? Yes. I gave her a free audio. Well, maybe this is my very quick diagnosis. Maybe you're like too much of a people pleaser, and you're helping too many people and not helping yourself. Yeah, that sounds that sounds right. That's probably maybe it was a test. Yeah. I don't know. Well, that sucks. I'm sorry. It was rough. And like you got a couple consultations, and they all weren't that great. So that's the only consultation I've had so far. Okay, so yeah, I've gotten lots of no I'm booked up until August September, that sort of thing. Wow. Or no and definitely. And so I'm just I need to broaden my my scope a little bit of people would you try like the online therapy, like something like better help or talkspace. So I have it, okay. And is, is betterhelp the one where it's primarily text based, and then I think it's video on demand, but you pay extra for it. Yeah, there. I know, I've used talkspace. Before I know that one, the first level is just taxing, and then you can pay more for video. Okay, I guess on my show that I had done. I think better help. I think you're like pretty comparable. Yeah. But I found it really helpful, especially early pandemic, I was on talkspace just texting a therapist, and I was like, thank God, I have someone to like, spill my anxiety to because I, you know, when the pandemic started, I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the thing that I thought I was. And I actually told this therapist during the consultation, that I didn't think I was looking for someone very solutions oriented. I said something along the lines of, I think I just need someone that I can talk to openly without judgment. And then I thought about it after the consultation, and I was like, I think that was a lie. But again, it was unnecessary, unnecessary hurdle to go through her and say something wrong. And they'd be like, no, that's not I don't know why I said that. Yeah, I feel like a good therapist can hear what you're saying. Try to please you, but also like, not take it fully at your word be like, we'll see if you really want this. Right. Right, because they know you're not a totally reliable narrator. Like, both of you. It's a relationships, you have to work on it. Yeah, yeah. But it was not it was not all bad by any means. I learned a lot about the insurance process through her, which is helpful. Yes, I did not realize that. I would need some sort of diagnosis. And then there would need to be a plan with the end goal of not needing therapy eventually, if I wanted to be covered by my insurance, which sounds so messed up. And I just thought like, Oh, I mean, I get I'm not shocked. But that's how it works. Yeah. I think it's scary when they first explain it to you. And then you realize like, everyone's using insurance. Right? Yeah. I think the thing that I don't want to think of it as a diagnosis. I want to think of it as this thing I'm doing to prevent preventative things from getting worse. Yeah. And I and I think that's where, obviously, our healthcare system is very flawed. And I think that's where it kind of falls apart as it treats mental health, like physical health. Like, here's this thing that's wrong with me. So I'm so I'm seeing a doctor. And here's how we can fix it. Yeah. And then you'll be done. And that's not how I was thinking of it previously. I mean, people are in therapy forever. So I don't, I don't know how many people are actually like, graduating from therapy. But right. If that's how the therapist presented it to you, maybe that's how like that person operates. Yeah, yeah. And I just thought, like, that's, that's not how I want it. I get it, but it doesn't sound right for me. Yeah, I hear you. And in the beginning, I was very frightened by all the insurance talk, and I paid out of pocket for a long time site. I feel like I should have totally just paid with insurance from the get go. Because like, why was I paying so much extra out of pocket? So keep it off my like, medical permanent record? Yeah. But yeah, diagnosis is no big deal. Like, they're all just words. And unless you're going to like, become a public figure tomorrow, like, I don't think it really matters that much. And even if you become like the next, Obama or Britney Spears, like, I don't know, you'll have other problems, too. Yes, yeah. I'll have to find a Bible to swear on. swearing on. If I run for office. That's, yeah, my mother, my mother recently was going through like a box of my childhood things. And I dabbled in being religious when I was younger. And I'm not anymore. But she sent me a photo of a Bible that had like my name inscribed on it from junior high. And she said, I'll save this just in case you run for office. And Nina was like, thank you. Thank you, mom. I you never know. I could That's cute. And politics is that but yes, it was very thoughtful. I mean, that's pretty important already. It's inscribed with your name. That's cool. Yeah, you never know. But also, like, I don't know, people are way more open about mental health now, like if people have a problem that I'm running for president and I have generalized anxiety disorder, like I think we have a bigger issue in America than that. Yeah, I think as long as I don't have like smoking weed on my record, which I live in Oregon, so that's not a problem, then I think I'll be okay. Cuz that's just about the worst thing you can do when you were considering political. I mean, if you have Bill Clinton endorse you, maybe you'll be okay. Just like popular with people. Exactly. Yeah, I think you'll be fine. And it's hard to like don't worry about the future. Anyway. So why did you seek therapy all of a sudden now? Is it just the pandemic? I think that's probably the biggest trigger was just a significant lifestyle change. And then in the last couple of months, I had a couple of other things happen or like one of my dogs passed away, and I hadn't lost an animal before. So I hadn't really done that process. That's rough. Yeah, it's, it's weird. It's uncomfortable and rough, and all kinds of things. And going through that, and then my, my dad has some health issues going on right now too. And then it was just, I'm an extrovert and being very isolated. And it was just a couple of compounding things. These are all things I've ran through with the therapist before she said, 2020 has been really hard, that sort of thing. For me, I like I think I went back just like to complain to someone, I was like, I need an unbiased person to complain to. Right, and no one else is gonna, like pivot the conversation to them. So can you do that for me? Yeah, yeah. That's, that's what I had to do. So. And yeah, those were the the main triggers, I guess, if you want to think of it that way. But like everybody else, I've been doing the generalizing thing twice and hard for everybody. like everybody else. Yes. The fact that Mike was probably my biggest trigger. And so just gives you all the time to think about everything. Yes. Yeah. A lot more introspective time, which is good and bad. Was it also an impetus for you starting your podcast on Well, with Erica? Yeah, the podcast came first. And then the desire to seek therapy came second, after having a lot of conversations with people about therapy, because it sort of helped normalize it a little bit. And that's why, and that's partially why I'm doing it too. Huh. Yeah. And if I hadn't had so many conversations with people, I will say the thing that was good about the conversations I was having about therapy is that it was always in the context of other self improvement type things. Like everyone I've spoken with, who even has a very positive experience with therapy also has, here are the other things that I've learned to do here the other like day to day practices that I've implemented. Yeah. And it's not like therapy was this cure all for all of their woes, but rather give them some tools. And when I started thinking of it that way, instead of me being fearful of being diagnosed with something and having, you know, my mind, and Mila jumps, like, oh, medication, I don't want to be on medication because of XYZ. And this narrative that I created for myself. When I think of it as something in a toolbox, which is how a lot of people framed it became a lot less intimidating, especially if you're starting to, like feel that things are building up or, like you want to talk about something like a dog dying, or you know, health issues, a pandemic, like if you want to, like explore these topics. With a professional, that's, that's good enough of a reason. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Oftentimes, I think previously, when I thought of therapy, I would have thought there needed to be some traumatic event that I need to work through. And that's, again, going back to the needing a medical diagnosis, and then a fixed time sort of thing to improve and then not needed anymore. And so I kinda had to reframe my thinking as to, there will probably be times when I see a therapist, and I don't have anything traumatic and serious to talk about. But it's still beneficial to get in the habit of talking to someone and you can always find something to kind of work through and yeah, like, it doesn't have to be a perfect situation like, the therapist I have right now. Like I, you know, I have issues with something she does, and like, we probably won't say, therapist and client forever. But you know, for now, it's like, Yeah, it's great. And it's helping me to talk to someone. Yeah. How was your process of finding a therapist? Um, I've been only really doing therapy since I've lived in Los Angeles. So it's been like, three ish years on and off. And it took a while to like, find someone I trusted enough to be like, oh, I'll come to you every week like I'm in this because in the beginning, it was like this weird rich lady who didn't have time for me. She had other important clients. And I was like, Oh, yeah, okay. Like I felt very like Then why did you agree to let me in your door, I don't understand. This weird lady in Beverly Hills. And then I ended up talking to them more like down to earth person who is more like a role model mother figure and I was like, you get it like you you're a little older than me. You have practical advice. And that wasn't like perfect, but it was it was a great start to be like I trust this person enough to spill my soul for a little while, too. That for nine months. And since then I've been like off and on whenever I need someone new, I seek out a new therapist. Yeah, it's funny that you mentioned the age thing, because that was something I ran into. I was talking earlier about how I felt like it was kind of slim pickings and the therapy department. Yeah, especially in Portland. And I felt like everyone in like, a certain age bracket was occupied. And all of my items were therapists that were really old. really young. Yeah. And I don't want to be ages where I don't want to rule someone out because their age, but I kind of thought, I think I want something a little bit older than me. But not that much. Like I want them to have some similar life experiences to me. And the whole zoom thing. I need them to be a certain level of technologically savvy, if we're going to be meeting digitally for a while. Yeah, I feel like neither extreme is great. Like, I definitely skew I want someone a little older, who can, you know, talk from some experience that she's been through similar things, or she's like seeing them in clients. And then I've seen a younger therapist before. And I was just like, very judged, but I was judgmental of her like, you know, did you ever go to school? Like, I don't think you really know what you're talking about. I know, that's how I would be because there was someone I looked at, and her profile seemed really great. And the stuff she talked about, I thought, okay, I couldn't find this really relatable. And I looked and saw she had graduated from college, I think in 2018. And I was like, Oh, you're like a child. Like, you can't be my therapist. You're way too young. I don't want anyone in their 20s giving me advice. That's basically what it boils down to. Yes. So I felt like that's who was very readily available, though. were people that were really young and like hadn't really gotten settled in their careers yet, or they were older. And then I wondered, okay, they're probably fighting some sort of ageism. Yeah. And I just want somebody in the middle. Yeah, like I, my therapist now is a little bit older. And I feel like I do repeat myself to her a little bit. And she's kind of like too nice to me. I feel like I prefer someone who's a little harsher. That's what I think I want to I think that the harshness that you mentioned. Yeah, I was talking about therapy with a friend. She said, She's like, I feel like you need somebody like from the East Coast who is a recent transplant to Portland. Yeah, that's why it makes you saw online therapy, just while we're in pandemic mode. Anyway, you could find someone on this coast. Right? That was her advice based on my personality. And I thought, because I can feel like Portland could be a little excuse a little hippie, and excuse a little, a little passive and, and too nice, I guess, in a way and that's just not, that's not gonna work for me too much about your chakras and like astrology. Yes. I love astrology for memes. I don't love it for therapy. Yeah. Like, is that what you're going for? It really depends. Yes, yeah. So tell us about. So you also do a food blog, and you're into weightlifting. How did you get into that? How is that going? Yeah. So I started a food blog back in 2014, or 15. And it was right after I graduated college and good time to get into blogging. Right. Yeah. And I didn't take it as seriously as I wish I would have because I felt like I was. I started it because everybody was food blogging. I was taking photos of food and posting it on my personal Instagram. And I think it was my brother who said, I'm getting kind of sick of seeing your food photos. You just started like a new thing. And just, that could be your food thing, because this is too much. Yeah. And yeah, yeah, it was just like a lot of brunch. And then people get hungry. Yeah, so I named a bacon and braids. And it was at a time when alliterations and bacon were both very trendy. 2014 2015. So I just picked that name. And I've decided I need to figure out if I'm going to change it because I like it. Let's even Thank you. It's Do you still eat bacon? Like, is it still right? Yeah, yeah, but not vegetarian. So it's still applicable for sure. As long as Yeah, you're presenting the brand bacon and braids. Stick with Yeah, don't have braids in my hair right now. But that used to be my thing whenever I was going to. I mean, I really got into food, because I wanted to go to events and I wanted to. It just was a way to meet people because I, after graduating college, move back to the town that I was from. And realize I didn't really like a lot of the people that I'd grown up with a lot of my college friends dispersed other cities, and didn't really have very many friends that I had a lot of life things in common with. And so I was just like, Okay, this will be my hobby, that'll give me activities to do. It'll keep me like going out meeting people regularly. And that's why I started it. And then when I moved to Portland, a couple years later, that's I mean, I wouldn't have I wouldn't have half the friends I have now if I wasn't into food and that's just how I met people. Portland's a great food city. There's tons of events and festivals and things that I get to go to now and Just was a really great way to meet people and I, it's sort of become just my personal Instagram of food and dogs and outdoor activities and all that good stuff. But I'm still still I'm still a big foodie at heart. It's interesting. You got into it to like, help yourself socially a little bit like you. You really I need to get out more and yeah, get get places and I need a reason behind it. Mm hmm. Yeah, cuz I didn't. It's funny. One thing that moving I know, before we started recording, we were talking about relocating from your hometown and living somewhere else. And yeah, I did not know how to make new friends until I moved across the country and had zero friends. And then I very quickly figured out Yeah, cuz you gotta put myself out there go somewhere new. And you really do start from zero? Yes, I did not know a single soul. forland like I was my partner and myself. We decided to move out here. And again, also, best thing we could have done for our relationship was also moving across country. Really? Yeah. It just like removed ourselves from all those other like, the web of people. Yes. It was just like, yeah, we needed a new network of people. And we needed activities to do that. We're not alcohol focus. Yeah. And I'm not like, you know, I drink occasionally. But it's funny when I think about all the hobbies I have now that I live in Oregon. I'm just like, what did I do when I lived in Oklahoma City? Yeah. I think I just drank and ate. That's what I did when I lived in New York for sure. Yeah, it's just like, there's no outdoor activities. Now. I ski I hike. I there's always parks around the area. I bike places. I never used to do that. And yeah, you're like active and more moreso living in the world, rather than just like the food and alcohol world. Right. Exactly. Yeah, I used to just eat bacon. Yeah. And that's why you had that mantra. That name? Yes, exactly. Exactly. That's good to hear. Because I live in California with my boyfriend. And we'll probably live here a little while. But eventually, we want to move somewhere new, and he's from this area of California. So I'm mostly like, I like we definitely have to do this because he needs to go somewhere new. Yes. And it's gonna help our relationship. Like, we're definitely gonna do it. Yeah, I think there was a certain like, I love my family. But I do think getting further away from them. One made me appreciate them a lot more Yes. But it just also like broke me of being so reliant on them to be able to swoop in. And if I had anything wrong with my house, or I needed something taken care of, they were just always there to help. And I'm grateful and very privileged that I had that. But also moving across the country. I just had to learn how to be an adult and not rely so much on an actual adult. And also like pushing yourself to be more social, or like, try new stuff like you're leaving your comfort zone more and more living in a new city. Yeah, yeah. And I had never used the comfort zone thing is 100%. Correct. Like I I hike and ski Now, like I was saying earlier, which is, I felt like I'm bragging about like these outdoor activities. I do. Yeah, you're very athletic. If you had told me in like 2013 or 14 that I would ever do either of those activities, like, you know, I would never do that stuff. And it's just weird. I feel like a completely different person than I was several years ago. And it's good people should be evolving. I think that's that's a positive thing. But yeah, yeah. Erica in college would not be caught on skis. That's funny. Like, you don't really know what your future is gonna bring you until you're like in it. Mm hmm. Yeah. Do you also do weightlifting? I do. So that was actually one of my things that just obviously on the mental health topic, I did not realize how significant of an impact going to the gym and having some sort of regular fitness routine had on my mental health until I didn't do it for a year. And games. 2530 pounds. And you know, over the course of like nine months, yeah. The Korea. Yeah, yeah. And it and I'm somebody like my weight fluctuates all the time. It doesn't usually, I'm not fussed about how much I weigh by any means. Yeah, but this was enough that I was like, Okay, my knees hurt. Like, I can feel like your body's like a dumpster change. And now you're like, I don't know if I like this. Yeah. And, and I, you know, it wasn't necessarily like weight focus, but it was like, I just like getting out of breath, like carrying things around my house. And I used to be like, so strong and capable. And now I just feel like a wimp and you're losing that. muscle mass, like all the strength he builds up before? Yeah, yeah, that that was a huge, huge thing for me and it. I used to go to spin classes fairly regularly too, which again is something that when I was younger, I never thought I would like a spin class like it's so like a woman screaming at you and flashing lights and all the stuffs like doesn't seem like something I would like. And I did it and I was like, Oh, this is actually really fun. And I like the lights are off and nobody can see me This is cool. Like Yeah, pretty low pressure thing. You can get down pretty easily. I like did so much group fitness before in the before times. I miss it, huh? Yeah, it's been my so I recently started going back to the gym. I joined like a really small gym because I was going to like an LA Fitness like a big box gym with 100 people in it. And I ended up joining. Yeah, I was just like, I went once during the pandemic cuz I really go mass required. You know, we're cleaning regularly. I was like, Okay, I'll check it out and see, but I walked out and I was like, nope. Yeah. Right back. I was like, This is not. There's too many people in here. Yeah. I think if I was a few years younger, I'd be like, Yeah, whatever. Like, you know, I can't get the COVID but now I'm 30 I'm like, No, I'm, I'm scared. You realize your own mortality? Yeah, the older you get, I think, yeah, for sure. So I am gonna wait till I'm vaccinated for answer Egypt. But I, I don't know if if you're in a smaller gym, maybe you feel more safe. Yeah, it was a couple of people in there. I will say also, almost everyone that works out there is really old. Yeah. Part of me was like, you guys are like, probably already vaccinated. The odds are good, you know? Yeah. Or at least they're not being like assholes, like grunting and heaving on everything probably. Right. Yeah. So I yeah. So I made that switch. And actually just got my first vaccine this past weekend. That's awesome. So I'm on on my way. There, huh? Thank God. Yeah. At the end of the tunnel, the general population can have it soon. Yeah, it's funny. A lot of my family being from family and friends being in Oklahoma. The vaccine world is just so different. Yeah. It's really Oh, my God. It's just they Yeah, I mean, not to get too political. But it just was was crazy. You can get political. Yeah, like how early everyone I knew in Oklahoma, like qualified for the vaccine. Like weeks ago, everybody was everybody was able to get it. And I'm just like, what, like, we can't even get 70 year olds. Like, we're not even in that bracket. Yeah, in Oregon. And it's just, I don't know, it's convoluted. That's what it is. But it's so messy. Like, I guess yeah, it really depends. Like, who's asking for it? No one. I'll give it to everyone. Right. That's what and I said that to a friend of mine. I was like, are you do you think it's just because people don't want it? And she was like, No, I don't think that and that's what it is. Cuz that's why in Oregon, I know a lot of people that can't get one in the Portland metro. You just drive an hour and a half any direction. Yeah. And you'll find a clinic where you can get it an hour and a half to like, that's not an easy. You can't just do that on your lunch break. Yeah, but if you're if you're committed, you want to drive to a red County, you can get your vaccine. Yeah. Which is wild. That's what Okay, is that true? Like, if you go to a more republican County, that's where you can get absolutely. Oh, someone told me that and I was like, I don't have the space in my brain to to actually do this. No, it's real. Okay. I guess it's very real. Yeah. I'm just like, Oh, wait, I have two more weeks until I'm eligible. I'll just wait the two weeks. Yeah, it's it. There's an interesting like moral. I've had more discussions about like, the ethics of getting Vax, like not not, not whether to believe in vaccines. I'm not having that conversation. Yeah. But the ethics of the way it's structured and the way that people can bend to the rules. And it's, it's very, like I, in my opinion, it's like every man for himself. If you think you need it the most go get it. For me. For me, I'm just like, I don't have enough free time to strategize my plan to get the vaccine early. So I will just wait until I can easily sign up. Right? Also, I'm like, not in high risk. I'm fortunate enough I can understand why like the septuagenarians are like, you know, like really like planning a schematic like Where is it? Where is the easiest to get and how right yeah, I've seen like so many conversations on my my local next door Yeah, we got all the all the old people strategizing, strategizing, where to go get their vaccine. And so I've learned that's, that's where I have learned anything is on my local neighborhood next door, which I love to That's a whole time, a whole other rabbit hole. It is a hellhole, but also a never ending source of entertainment. There's been an influx of pandemic, there's been an influx of people just like airing their relationship stuff on my next door. Oh really like looking like a single posting. There was this man that had shared this post where he basically was talking about, I think he's maybe mid 40s or 50s, somewhere on that age. And he said, I've never been in love in my entire life. I don't think it's anything wrong with my personality. I think I'm just ugly. Oh, it was so sad. But like the outpouring of comments that he got if people just saying, Oh, I have somebody for you to me, or that's good. No, it's not you. It was really, it was quite uplifting. That's so mind boggling that that's happening on next door of all places. Exactly. Like I was like, how many other places was the first place you try? Or how many other places did you go through before? You're like, you know what, fuck it. And Craigslist personals was dead for a while you had to go somewhere else. Yeah, I guess so. So it was it's been interesting, but I could talk about I could have a whole podcast on next. Yeah, we don't have time. That's funny. I'm glad he is getting set up. I you know, sometimes you just have to vocalize what you want. Put it out there and people will respond. You know, he has manifesting it. Yeah. Well, while I'm on next door looking for a new couch someone's looking for a soulmate. Very, very, like whatever you're looking for. Are you also your digital marketer? So do you do you market your podcast? Do you like spend time marketing on well with Erica, you think I would be better? Because it is my train? of your mind. I'm teaching myself marketing. It's it's a lot. Yeah. I mean, we've I found you through Reddit, which is a place that I basically I'm getting comfortable with one to read about what like what people's theories on one division were. activity on Reddit, and then also trying to learn about some podcast stuff. Yeah, you get everything on Reddit. It's pretty, like it's like an encyclopedia. You can do everything you want to do and a lot of stuff you don't want to do. Get stuck on there. Yes, it is a rabbit hole, but is helpful. And I've tried to get more comfortable with it for podcast stuff. But so many places are like, Don't self promote in here, which I get, but like they like don't want you to link your stuff. And yeah, that's very big in the podcasting. reddits where it's like, we know you podcasts. Like, that's not the point. And it's like, Yeah, okay. Yeah, like, okay, but like, why can't I just like? Yeah, it's very rules focus, like there's, I guess, because it's, it's been around a while and they have those moderators, people get very into the rules. Yes, yeah. It's like, there's so many rules. And there's also no rules. Yeah, that's what is so strange is that there's so many specific rules. But then general content of what you're allowed to share. There's no rule like, it's like, Don't link but like, Here is a video of someone getting murdered. And so that's what it's like, this, this person saying their mental health crisis, like live stream, and then here's someone on Wall Street that's being like that your next million on GameStop. Exactly. Every once in a while. Yeah, but I yeah, my marketing job. I've worked in tech since I graduated college. And I felt like actually kind of a trigger for starting the podcast, among other things was that my job kind of shifted a little bit. And I wasn't doing as much creative stuff. So I wasn't doing as much writing I kind of shifted into more of a management role, which is, you know, for better or worse. And I felt like I was doing a lot of project management, but I wasn't really creating that much. And so I thought, Okay, well, if I'm gonna start this podcast, that'll give me a way to do more social media stuff work on graphics. Yeah. And, you know, networking and all this kind of stuff that I wasn't doing as much of my day job anymore. So it kind of gave me a nice creative outlet. That's good. I also similarly, like needed a creative outlet, because I was doing stand up comedy in the before times. Yeah, I didn't really I didn't really try out zoom comedy too much. And I was like, you know, I've been wanting to podcast forever. This seems like a good time. And it's been a great creative outlet for me. Just like getting stuff off my chest. Yeah, zoom stand up comedy sounds very, very hard. It's not it's not as bad as you think. But it's definitely not the same. Yeah, I just thinking about in my meetings at work, how everybody's like muted and you tell a joke, and that's pretty soft. You know, it's not answer for me. It's like 12 people, and then I tell a joke, and nobody laughs I don't feel like oh, I can see your mouth moving, but I'm not getting the audible. Yeah, the last podcast I recorded, I cracked So many dumb jokes and the gas was not having it. I was like, this is just I'm just gonna keep making jokes because this is my podcast. And that's fine. I'm fine with bombing on the podcast. Right? Yeah, I think it really can tank resume comedy. Like it's hard to create a live energy on a virtual hang with, like, however many people so. Yeah, I don't know how that you were. You said you were fine with bombing on the podcast? Have you had any interviews that were so bad that you didn't use them? No, I've used some bass somehow. I've used them all so far, but some of them like, obviously didn't like go the way I wanted. Or if I had known everything ahead of time, I would have done it differently. Yeah, everything's been okay. Luckily, my boyfriend is my like, the graduate audio engineer and camera man. So he helps me helps me with the audio camera quality. Yeah, yeah. That's one less thing to have to worry about. Yeah, yeah. I will say, Have you been a guest on anyone else's podcast yet? Just a couple. Do you think it's easier than being a host? Yes. It's so much easier. So much easier. I psyched myself out my first guest appearance. I was like, I have to prepare. I have to like know the questions. But it was so easy. It's like talking to someone casual. Absolutely. Every time I do and I leave thinking like, so funny. I did such a good job. And every time I'm hosting, I leave it. I'm like, Oh, it's terrible. I did such an awful job. I did everything wrong. And it's just two wildly different feelings to roller coaster. Yeah, it's very like, dependent. Like, it's kind of like a job interview. Like, it feels like you have to have a good chemistry with the guests. And you both have to be in a good mood, like a lot of x factors. Yeah. And I have found on my podcast, when I'm interviewing people, it is a lot easier to interview someone who has a podcast, because they understand the flow better. You have less variables of trying to figure out the technical setup of things. And they probably have a somewhat interesting personality. Because whenever you have somebody, you're just like, wow, there's nothing here. There's no that's the thing. I forgot, I found you on Reddit, because I've been finding a few like, very random internet science. And it's like, I don't really know this person or what they sound like. This goes good. Right? Yeah. That's a fear I've had is when I have found people on Instagram. And I think their contents really interesting written. Yeah. Or if I find I've been searching on medium as well, for people that, yeah, it's I signed up for the like,$5 month paid, subscription. begrudgingly, I didn't want you keeping journalism alive. Keeping journalism alive. I am doing my civic duty. But then you're just like reading a blog. And you're like, can they talk? Exactly. You don't know how much or maybe they can't talk. But they have a really annoying voice like, so know, that kind of stuff. Yeah, I find it hard to be a solo host. I think like, it's hard to keep that conversation alive. It's like saying gays should remember everything. It would be nice to have a co host, but I also just don't trust people. So solo hosts it is. Yeah, I went through that same process. Whenever I was thinking of starting my podcast, this was actually I had this idea back in September of 2019. And I had this voice memo, when I was having a I just had like a horrible string of days and was not feeling good. And then I just had this idea like, okay, I feel like shit. I'm at this point in my life like point of my life. I'm in my late 20s. I'm very reluctant to identify myself as depressed or anxious or whatever. But I definitely am not my best self. And so I just left this long voice memo on my phone. I'm just talking through this idea for this podcast. Yeah, I said the name on well, right off the bat. I was like, that's the name. There's another podcast named unwell. So it's unwell there. Well, he saw that coming. Yes. Yeah, I looked at that. And then part of me was like, I think that popular like it's and it's funny, because they, it's like a fictional drama set and a small, very straight and I was like, why did they put the name on? Well, it doesn't even make sense. I don't listen to the shows artistic choice. Yeah. Just like, doesn't even isn't even in my list. It's not in my genre. I guess. I don't have to worry about that. But they say it's better to get your name on it. Anyway. Some people will remember you. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for is like I can create some kind of brand out of this. But I yeah, I had this idea for the podcast. And then I was same as you. I thought it'd be a lot easier if I had a co host, I think to bounce things off of so I would kind of like softly like, mention it to friends. Yeah. Like and there's usually a couple people that I thought, okay, they have a nice voice. They're smart, like they're funny, whatever. And nobody bit so I was like, Okay, I guess I'm on here on my own. Because it's a lot to do, and you don't want someone who's like, sort of interested but not fully committed, and you don't want to offer it to anyone, like I did the same thing where I was like, only a few people get the opportunity and then right then it's just me. Yeah, yeah, here we are. So yeah, I went through that exact same. Is it is Eurasia affecting your mental health? Are you doing okay? I've had a stroke. Yeah, no, it's been it's been really good. So that's good. One thing, it's, I think, after I had maybe 10, or 12 episodes, a friend of mine, who I never thought would listen to my podcast, became one of them became one of my avid was a friend of mine from college. And I just I, for whatever reason, didn't think she would find it that interesting. And she became one of my avid fans early on, that's good, and has given me great feedback. But she asked me, Do you feel less unwell after coming out of podcasts? And I was like, No. Yeah, for me, it just brought more stress. Yeah, I will say it didn't, like solve any of my problems. But honestly, I don't think it's increased stress for me. Because I, I think a lot of my anxiety stems from having nothing to do, which is why the last year was so hard for me is that this is one of these things. I'm sure I can unpack with a therapist, why I do not like to have idle time by myself. Yeah, what are you doing? Right, right. That is the conversation. I will have some day when I find the right therapist. Yeah, but But for now, it's it gave me like a project. And it gave me a sense of accomplishment. And you know, talking earlier about day job versus podcast, and one thing I identified about my day job is that it's not project based. And so I was never, I never feel like I'm getting anything done like it. Everything is ongoing. Yeah. And it's just the job. Yeah. And it's not it was weird. Like that, too. Yes. And I don't know, what are you? If you're, if you don't mind me asking, what do you do? I do an accounting job, which is like, relatively new for me. I've only been doing it for a year. And it is ongoing. I'm always like, yeah, how do we know we're doing okay, I like working in TV. Before that. I was like the TV show ends at some point. And then we move on to the next show. So yeah, I don't understand how accounting works or how other jobs in an office work. Yeah, yeah. And it used to be like, I would create a piece of content, and it would go out and it'd be done. And then I could see if people like it. And then my job turned into this. You know, I had allowed me to flex some other muscles. But it did turn into this constant seeking of improvement and wasn't project based. And with a podcast, I'm like, once it's out, its out. Yeah. I don't have to worry about it anymore. And you feel a little fulfilled? Yes. Yeah. It was giving me that sense of accomplishment. Like not everyone is good. Not every episode gives me the same feeling of accomplishment. But the other day, it's like cool that we've taught ourselves these skills. Hmm. It's kind of like, yo, sorry. I didn't know shit about audio. Oh, yeah. This year. So it's, it's cool. I never thought I would learn about audio. This is like, totally a skill I had to pick up and adapt with. And I'm proud of myself, but also, like, also stressed out all the time. So I, you know, I need to find a way to make it easier. But it's been cool to learn for sure. And it's it's been something I have tried to over the last year or so. And it applies to food blogging, and to this podcast project and lots of different hobbies. I'm a firm believer in you don't have to monetize your hobbies, and you're allowed to just have a project that you do, because it makes you happy to do it. Yeah. And someone who's like in the 30 ish, I'm 28. In this range. We were very much not to I feel like our generation are the ones I like, I need to be a side hustle on I gotta make money off this. And yeah, I'm tired. I tried to. Like, I love the culture. I think it's great. But sometimes I watch these YouTube videos for inspiration. I'm like, I want this girl to take a vacation. Oh, like she she's working too hard. You know, you can do personal development all day. But you also need to like reflect and chill and lie down sometimes. Yeah, and I have tried to I'm like, maybe this will be gonna be a full time. podcaster and like, maybe I will. But I don't think I will be able to do that from watching a YouTube video cuz I've done the same thing. Watch these YouTube videos about. I watched something recently about how to grow your podcast and I just listened to these two guys talking. I was like, This isn't? This is? No, I'm just like, if people like what I'm saying. If my voice isn't annoying, and they find the people I'm talking to mostly interesting. I feel like you find what works for you what you love to do and you keep doing those things and then what you hate To do or could do less of like, hopefully you can minimize that. Yeah, yeah, there's a podcast I listened to. It's called let's talk about mental health. And I actually had the host on my show a few episodes ago. name's Jeremy Godwin. And it I listened to the show and I was like, Oh, this is the mental health show I wanted to create. He focuses on a topic and for anybody listening is interested in mental health. I highly recommend this podcast. It's like 25 minute episodes. And he picks a topic. So see the guy from Australia or New Zealand? Yeah, I think I listen to that one of yours is good. He's very affable, like you. You like listening to him? Incredible. Yeah. And I was like, okay, only one interview podcast. So I was like, this was perfect magic. And I want every good strategy, like a podcast host early. Someone who knows a good speaker. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So he each episode focuses on like a topic. So patience, trust, energy, just like things like that. And it's very, like self development. And he researches to, yes, he's fallen. Yeah, yeah. And that's not what I do. I just, like show up. I like people. It's funny. Your, your tagline? It's like consent to that when you said that. I was like, Oh, that's perfect. Thank you. That's a lovely way of framing it. I love that took me forever to think of it. And I was like, that's just pretty. That's pretty much what I'm saying. Just you know, I hate when people vent without consent. And they just like rants. endlessly, my ears fall off. My mind tunes out. So the podcast is like, this is your space, go for it. Yeah. And that's Do you? Do you consider yourself an empath? Like, do you ever have conversations with people where you kind of internalize? Yeah, I think I have elements of it. I don't know if I'm full empath. But I definitely like can usually put myself in someone's shoes a little bit. Yeah, like if I need someone, I'm like, Oh, I know. I hate them. It's like, because they're going through something. Yeah, that's one thing that I think our shows are similar in that way is like, I want to talk about serious topics. But you have to be able to do it with a certain level of levity. And yeah, you're not trying to make it too heavy. No, yeah, that's not my, that's not my area, because I will make a bad joke or like, try to turn it into something. It's not. And I'm very uncomfortable with that. Yeah, I've tried to strike a bat. I've tried to strike a balance there. Because even recently, my most recent episode was with a woman who was widowed at age 29. And going into it, I was talking to my boyfriend. I was like, I'm so worried that I'm just gonna say something stupid or like, not talk about her situation respectfully. Yeah. And she very early on was just like, there's a lot of dark humor that will get you through this kind of stuff. And I'm just like, okay, we can err on the same page here. Yeah. When you're dealing with someone else's tragedy, you're like, how did they see it? Like, you want to know that going in? Yeah. And there's some situations, I'm sure you feel the same way. There's some situations where people talk about that you can very much relate to and there's some situations I talked about, and you're like, Wow, I've never experienced this, and probably never will experience this. Yeah. As far as I know. And, yeah, and it's hard to kind of put yourself in those shoes. But that's one thing that the show has definitely taught me is. You can find something relatable and everybody's story. Yeah. And it's definitely made me a more empathetic and understanding person and just having these conversations with people and, and that's probably been the most important part. That's cool. It's expanded your worldview. Yeah. Yeah. It hasn't definitely done that. Do you make inappropriate jokes in real life? Because I definitely do, which I think like, gets gets onto the podcast. Yeah, yeah, I had a funny thing happen. I was talking earlier about how one of my dogs passed away in December. And it was the day after Christmas, just like great, perfect timing. And we wasn't Christmas. So she made it one day pass. So loved her for that. And we did in home. euthanization. So we had like a vet come to our house and have to pare it down. And when the vet pulled up, she was just like a normal car. And I guess I thought she was gonna be in some sort of branded? I don't know, it's just like a little SUV. Yeah. And so just talking about inappropriate humor. She after we have done the thing after we put the dog down. Maggie was her name. I should just say the dog dog, Maggie. love very much. Yeah. Shout out to Maggie. And the vet was like, Oh, I need your help, like putting her on a stretcher and carrying out the car and I was like, cool. Didn't think about that. Carry the body out of the car. And I asked her I was like, Okay, this might be weird, but You just like put that dogs in your car. Like this is just your car. Yeah. This is a company car. And she's like, Oh, this is just my car. And I was like, oh, does that not keep you out to like go to the grocery store with the car has had tons of dead animals on the planet, dogs, cats, whatever. I was having a conversation with her. And I was just thinking like, she's probably like, fuck are you talking about like? Like, why are you judging my car right now? Yeah, you should be grieving. You know, I was sad later on. But in the moment, I was just kind of like, That's weird. Like, I don't think I'd want that Juju in my life. I think that's a good personality trait. You're like making it interesting, and maybe asking her questions she hasn't heard before. Right. Yeah, I have so many questions. I was really like, do you want to be my podcast? And she was like, job? No. Did you say yes, she I didn't. I asked. I emailed later. And I asked her boss, and I was like, because it's like, it's a it's a company that. That's, that's what they do. That's what the company is in home. euthanization. Yeah. And they're, I think they're all that's like at different practices. And then they do this kind of on this side. I was like, What a bummer of a job. Like, unless, yeah, unless people are into it for some reason. Like they get some money out of it. They're helping people grieve. Yeah. And I think I think that's a bummer. Yeah. Yeah, I can. I can't imagine that's doing that. It's funny that you asked her that. Like that. I would have laughed. We're coming to the end. So on Therapy Roulette, we spend a random question and see where it lands. I'll spin one for you. Here's our wheels. By the way. Would you say? I love this. I missed real life relax. to maybe Vegas was summer. Atlantic City. I grew up like rattling Atlantic City. so obsessed. What are you obsessed with lately? Or recently? Oh, what am I obsessed with? Most recently? Two things. I just started playing the Avengers game on Xbox. Okay. And I'm not a gamer. Neither. All right. I have played a couple of videos used to play Spyro the Dragon when I was a kid, play video games as an adult. But I liked Marvel. And so I was like, I'm gonna give this a shot. And then I had to make myself go to bed the other night. And I was like, I could have been one of those gamers and stays up until four. Yeah, yeah, you got into it. Yeah, I was into it. And I had to be like, no, Erica, you have to work tomorrow. Like you need to go to bed. I would say that. That's fine, then. Have you been playing it every night? I took last night off. But I'm gonna I'm gonna play it again. When we get off this. Dinner. Sorry. I'm keeping you Yeah. No, no, it's okay. It's okay. Yeah, I would say probably that. My, my boyfriend's a gamer too. And he cuts himself off usually around 11 or so. Like, he says it's a reasonable time, but I'm always like, Is it like you've been playing for a while? Yeah, I got it. I'm not a gamer. No, I didn't. I didn't get it until I did. Like Okay, now I get it now. I feel you. Did you say you wanted to share another obsession? Yeah, I was trying to think of a TV show. And I'm kind of like out of post one division. Yeah, post one division. I'm watching Falcon in the winter soldier. It's not the same. It's not it's not as captivating. So I don't know what that is. Is that a Marvel thing? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, they're both both Marvel shows. I just started one division and I'm not super into Marvel. So bear with me. It's a Yeah, it's a kind of an interesting like, entry level thing if you're not into Marvel, because it starts out very not comic Bucky. And then it slowly gets more into that stuff. Okay, I'm not gonna spoil anything. That's some other story. That's not like alien, maybe but non comic fans. Right. Okay. Right. For sure. Yeah. And then. Oh, actually. I've been really, really obsessed with and I hate to plug we were talking earlier about celebrity podcasts. Yeah, no plug away. I obviously am obsessed with podcasts. Okay, and this is like one of the most popular podcasts but I've never listened to it until recently. I'm really an armchair expert. Oh, that one's great. Especially as a interview podcast. Oh my gosh, he's so good at it. Like that guy can interview and I never I mean I know doc Shepherd from like, without a pet was man without a paddle like yes. Yeah, that's like what I know he's in such a weird like array of movies and TV shows. Yes. And he there's been a couple of interviews in a row. I've been churning through that content like crazy. It's been nice out. And for Lance, I've been going on a lot of walks and just listening to it. Nice. And yeah. The one with Amy Poehler is really, really good. I love Amy Poehler. So that was interesting. And then there was an episode. I cannot remember the person who interview was named but she's a professor of ethics is a French name. And listening to them debate ethical stuff. I was just like, this is just money. This is podcast like this is so good. Yeah. So I have been really into that lately as well. That's cool. Also check out some more armchair expert. Yeah. Again, not to plug the like somebody who's raking in tons of exactly. Like after you've listened to all of my podcast and unwell America then yeah, listen, armchair expert. Exactly. Yeah. Well, that's so you answer the question as well or is only for the guy I can. Usually I don't. But obsess What have I been obsessed with? I would say real estate. Oh, my boyfriend and I are trying to buy a house. So I'm in the process of looking at houses and trying to learn what you do when you buy a house. I just bought a house in fall of 2019. Not long ago. And it sucks when you live in a city that other that other people want to live in. What do you do? Yes. So that market just like rapid fire houses or their houses are gone? Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is tough out there. But yes, it's fun. It's fun to learn about it's also fun to spend a lot of time on Zillow. I also I just like reading books to like make me think I've like taken a class or like studied it a bit. So it now that I found a book to listen to about real estate. Now I can like feeling I'm doing my research. Yeah, yeah, you're getting it out. Yeah, that's awesome. And then Good luck to you. My boyfriend's like manically looking at every house that's available online. Yeah, do you have a real estate agent already? We do. We just got one. That's key, you gotta like them, because you're gonna spend so much time with them. That's true. And, yeah, make sure make sure you like them. Because they will be your go to person. And if they do anything wrong, or something, if something goes wrong, and you don't like them, you will blame them. I did not have that situation we lost on like, we put on four beds before we got this house and just kept getting out bed on houses in Portland. And if I had not like the person I was with, I would have assumed he was doing something. He's my buddy, we left with a new friend, which is also really fun. That's good advice, builds a relationship and then hopefully, like the business relationship can prosper. Yeah. If the if you like each other personally, then you think you're like getting not fair, like better than fair treatment. And you're getting, you know, they're your friend. So they want to do they want to do well by you. Yeah, they want to make everything happen for you. For sure. Very cool. Tell us where to find you. Yes. So you can find my podcast unwell with Erica. Wherever you're listening to this podcast? Probably so just search with Erica. I am a pocket cast gal myself. But what podcasts like listening service to you. So I'm always curious. I haven't heard of pocket cast before. Oh, that's just what I listened to. Like what I used to listen to podcasts. Cuz I'm very anti Apple podcasts. I think it sucks. Got it. Anyways, I know. I'm on buzzsprout as a platform for my Therapy, Roulette, and then I listened on Apple. But I've also been listening on Spotify. And you know, I'm open to all of them. Yeah, pocket cast is great. If you're like, I learned from my brother who is the most always has a podcast playing. He subscribed to so many. And he was like, if you're still listening on Apple podcasts, that means you're not a real. Yeah, to be fair, the apple podcast app is terrible. It sucks. And once you use anything else, you're like, oh, wow, this is so much more organized. Anyway. Please listen to me on whatever streaming service you'd like. I'm not discriminating it's Apple podcasts. It's where most people listen for sure. So yeah, search at all with Erica anywhere and then I you can find me on Instagram at unwell with Erica for any podcast related things, clips and takeaways and things like that. And if you're interested in more of my day to day things, like I talked about earlier, lots of food, dogs, outdoor activities, some exercise type stuff, and not too much of it. You can find me on Instagram at bacon and braids. Very nice. I'll check it out and it'll be linked down below in the show notes. And Erica, thanks so much for coming on. Yes, thanks for having me on the show. Of course. Have a great night. This has been Therapy Roulette consent to vent!. If you enjoyed this episode a few very quick things you could do to help the podcast are leaving a review Review, you can leave me a review on rate this podcast.com slash therapy, or you can leave a review. Wherever you listen to podcasts. It only takes a couple seconds to do and it really helps spread the word. tell a friend about the podcast, anyone who's into mental health or comedy, or who needs to, like, hear about mental health and comedy. If you think they'd like the podcast, tell them text them share the link. It really helps. It's just tell people about the podcast. Also, while you're listening, if you take a screenshot of this episode, and share it on social media and tag me, I'll be sure to reshare and that also builds momentum. So on Instagram, I'm at Therapy Roulette pod. On Twitter. I'm at Therapy Roulette. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back with a new episode in two weeks. So not next Thursday. But The following Thursday. Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as

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Consent to Vent / If you dont have problems, then youre likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Whos not me)