Alone Time for Introverts

Michele (@michelebaci) has moved into her new house and it’s been a MESSY process. She shares an article about introverts with “rainforest minds,” which can refer to people with so many interests that they have trouble focusing on just one at a time. She tells a story about writing on her lunch break and trying to carve out a window of alone time every day.

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Transcript

Theme Song: 0:05

Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you dont have problems, then youre likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)

Michele Baci: 0:24

Hello, welcome back to a new episode of Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent! So we moved into our new house last week. And it's been hard, like really, really, really hard. And so many different ways. My packing was not quite on time. And when the moving company showed up, we were not ready. And Joseph has a fish tank, a 60 gallon fish tank. So we spent most of moving day with the hose in the fish tank, emptying the water out and scooping the little fish into a bucket. And then getting that fishing out. Thank God, we paid professionals because that seems like a huge endeavor. But we made it to the house. And it's been challenging, because so much is either not working or not structured correctly. So we've just been running into a lot of obstacles, and doing handy work. Literally every day, every free moment we have. As soon as I'm done with work for the day, my work from home job, we start repairing stuff. And we did this before moving into all last month. So I'm extremely sleep deprived. And I'm still not a handy person. So a lot of times I try to help Joseph out and fix things, and then they just make them worse, and we have to redo them. Ah, my life is so hard. I don't know about homeownership, it seems like a scam that people tell you you should aspire to. But I don't see the point quite yet. I don't know, maybe this will all turn around. It has to get better. I'm just telling myself that. So for today's episode, there is no gas, it's going to be a solo episode. And I've just been reflecting and thinking that I am back into my depressive state, I am feeling more hopeless than usual probably because here we are going through another big life change, bought a house move to the house with my partner. And it's not all sunshine and butterflies instead, it's a lot of sawdust in concrete and trash bags. So yeah, life is hard. And I also think I've been struggling to feel like myself because I've been spending every single day working nonstop. Or with my boyfriend by my side, also working nonstop. We are stressed to the max where hostile with each other and just like ready to snap. So that's not good. You know, I need some me time I need to get out and just lie in the sun with a book and, you know, listen to the waves. I don't know, I just need to get out of here. I can't be in the house for for day after day after day. It's driving me insane. And I've been thinking a lot of it has to do with my introvert pneus because I really do require alone time every day, just a little bit of alone time makes me flourish. It makes me such a much happier, more balanced person. And I don't know if Joseph has that I feel like he has. I don't know, I don't know if he needs alone time. He's kind of an introvert but he also like, goes a mile a minute and he loves talking and connecting with people. So he might be just as extroverted. I have no idea. But I've told him and I know this about myself, I need alone time I need to be quiet somewhere away from people for part of the day every day. Otherwise, I feel like I'm gonna combust. And so I haven't had that in like 30 to 60 days and I'm trying to get back into making time for myself. I found this article on the web about introverts with a rain forests mind. And I've never heard that term before. I think this lady who wrote the article coined it. So I thought I would just give you a summary of the article, because maybe you're into introverts and extroverts and how We flow and go about our days. I know I am always trying to learn how to better understand myself. So this is posted on introvert deer calm. It's called 12 signs you're an introvert with a rain forest mind by Paula prober. Complex, highly sensitive, intense, creative, misunderstood, gifted, introverted, if you have a reinforced mind RFM These are just some of the adjectives that might describe you. I developed the metaphor of the rain forest mind while working as a teacher with children who are who are identified as gifted. As I see and found out it's difficult to define giftedness. And there's a great amount of controversy around what it might be. Because of many people's discomfort with the label. I created the RFM analogy, it was fitting these kids were like the reinforce they had particular traits and needs that were often overlooked because they were so smart. When I became a psychotherapist, I started working with reinforced minded adults. I helped them understand their particular characteristics and concerns so that they learn self acceptance and create fulfilling lives. Maybe you too, have a reinforced mind. In my experience, many of those within RFM are introverts. How will you know, here are 12 science. And I'm just going to read you the 12 science because I identify with a good chunk of them. Maybe you will too. But I do like this little label of freedom forest mine, it sounds like the sound machine at the rain forest cafe. rain falling on plastic leaves. Science you ever reinforced mind number one, you've been accused of being too sensitive, too dramatic, too emotional, too curious and too smart. To you feel like too much and not enough at the same time. Three, you've painted your living room 12 times and it's still not right. Who I feel like that's foreshadowing for me in the house. For you love learning, reading and research but didn't necessarily excel in school. Five people tell you that you're not living up to your great potential. You feel pressure to be a high achiever, but sometimes end up in perfectionist paralysis. Oh, I feel that one. Six, you're overwhelmed by screeching leaf blowers, strong fragrances, needy friends, loud chewers buzzing that no one else here is bad architecture and beauty. Seven people tell you to lighten up when you're just trying to enlighten them. Eight, you may have changed majors in college several times and graduated after nine years, you leave a job just when you've mastered it because you need to learn something new. I get like this, once I really get good at something I get bored with it. It's terrible. I'll redo her explanation. This is called multi potential reality, multi potential reality. You have lots of interests and abilities. People say you're a jack of all trades, master of none. But you actually do master a lot. When you learn what you want, it's time to move to the next thing. This can be a problem if you need to support a family. Or if you need to look quote, unquote normal. Number nine, you've been socially responsible since you were five years old. I feel it. Number 10. You're an avid overthinker and frequent ruminator sleep and meditation are challenging. 11 you counsel your friends, relatives, neighbors and paths and often know what they're feeling before you before they do. You have a sense of a larger force in the universe that has a spiritual strength and a loving energy as well. You often ask yourself if I'm so smart, why am I so I read this article and I jived with it. I think this is about me. I am calling myself smart. Because you know I love myself and I value my brain. But yeah, I'm highly sensitive. There are times where I just can't take people like at least part of my day. I can't be around people because it's too much. Need a little bit of alone time at my at my job a few years ago. You know I had like a kind of strict lunch break like 30 minutes that's it you better be back at work by the 30 minute mark. And I sometimes would try to write or get work done. For myself, you know, like answer emails or work on comedy, I would try to do something for myself in that lunch break. And I know, I must have looked like such a weirdo to anyone who was on the outside, because I would either sit alone, like at the ends of the cafeteria and not interact with my coworkers, or I would even go, like steps further into crazy territory. And I would close myself into like, the dressing room and just type on my laptop in, in this tiny ass dressing room where you're supposed to change into your uniform. But most of the time, no one would come in during, like a lunch hour. So it was quiet, and I could write a paragraph or edit something or send an email. And I felt weird, cuz, you know, it was a weird thing to do. But I also felt like myself, you know, carving out time to do something that mattered to me, in the what was supposed to be my rest part of the day. And once in a while, I think a few times it happened. One of my co workers would be starting her shift, and she would come into the dressing room. And I'd be there with my laptop on like, the one chair that's there. And she'd be to say, like, Oh, am I interrupting you? Like, what are you doing? But like always nice about it. And I would just say, Oh, just writing, you know, I'll leave so you can change. I don't know. We need to create more space for introverts reinforced minds, people who just don't want to socialize all day, cuz not everyone's wired that way. Maybe I won't have to hide out in dressing rooms and lonely parts of the cafeteria in the future. But yeah, I kind of look back on those times, because right now I'm working from home. So I need to do something like that. It's way easier. Obviously, I could just write in the other room or on the couch during my lunch break. But at my office jobs or that TV production job, like I I'd have to steal space for myself, I'd have to like find it, claim it and not let people intrude upon it. And I felt like I was getting so much done during those 30 minutes. So I think a big part of my depression and my sense of like, existential dread is I want to write I want to write professionally, but I don't have a writing routine. And maybe that routine is supposed to be a morning routine, or an evening routine. Maybe it's supposed to be a lunch routine, I don't know. But I'm gonna try out a bunch of them. And I hope one of them sticks because that's what I need the most. And then if I have a writing routine, I think everything else will work out. Thanks for listening to Therapy Roulette. You know where to find me online. And I'll be back with an interview in 2 weeks. See ya!