Therapy Roulette

Coming Out as Bisexual and Mastering Dungeons w/ Melissa Lusk

October 15, 2021 Michele Baci / Melissa Lusk Season 1 Episode 139
Therapy Roulette
Coming Out as Bisexual and Mastering Dungeons w/ Melissa Lusk
Show Notes Transcript

Michele (@michelebaci) shares an update on her new therapist and how she’s binging the dramedy This Way Up. This week’s guest is musician, mom, and dungeon master, Melissa Lusk (@melissajlusk). Melissa shares her experiences of coming out as bisexual as an adult, her recent trauma of a miscarriage, balancing motherhood. and exactly how much it costs to have a baby. She also explains the allure of RPGs such as Dungeon & Dragons and speculates as to how horny you can get while playing the game!
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IG: @teengirlscimo

Twitter: @melissajlusk

Facebook: melissaluskmusic
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Theme music by Hannah Fairchild

Spotify: Hannah Vs. The Many

https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rlyuj1AOlLdLCV5MRFc9P?si=muDK4Rr3RXWMGhBCP0fQaw
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Transcript available: https://therapyroulette.buzzsprout.com/1368259

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Theme Song:

Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you dont have problems, then youre likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Whos not me)

Michele Baci:

Hey guys, girls, they thems people who don't have pronouns. Welcome to another episode of Therapy Roulette, where I give you a consent event. My name is Michele Baci, and I'm your host. This week, I had a therapy appointment with my brand new therapist, we facetimed so personal, and it was great. I think she so far, one appointment in we had a consultation a few weeks ago, and this week, we had our first appointment. So one appointment, one consultation, and I think she's awesome. But to give you an idea of the timeline, as to how I met, this woman was referred to her and how long it took me to get an appointment with her. I got this lady's info in 2019, before the pandemic, and we had emailed back and forth a few times in 2019. And it ended up not being a good scheduling match. And I ended up using my talk space therapist during that time, which was great and very apt for the pandemic. But I've as you know, if you listen, I've since left by talk space therapist, and now was looking for a new one. So I reached back out to this current therapist, and we finally connected and from the reaching back out to the consultation to this first appointment, it's probably been a month with all those emails. So here's an idea of how long it takes to find help. It takes probably a month, honestly, it takes research and time, and you got to coordinate your schedules, and you both have to show up and what if it's not a good fit. It's like chemistry. It's like dating. You don't know how it's gonna go. This lady seems like a good therapist, and I'm lucky to have found her and have linked back up with her. But you guys, it took me two years to link back up with her. So in the idea of preventative care, if you think you have an inkling that you might need therapy, go find it today. Go start your research and start making some phone calls to get an idea of who these people are because it takes fucking forever to find a therapist, and we have a mental health crisis in America. So get on it. What are you waiting for? If I'm doing it, you could do it too. I'm like the most harebrained person. If I'm doing anything, you could do it too. This week I have been coping with a new TV show. called This Way Up on Hulu. It's so funny. It's a dramedy, it's about mental illness. stars, this Irish comic Aisling Bea, who's super good at voices and impressions at improv. She's so funny. Aisling Bea is so funny. I recommend this way up on Hulu. It's like 30 minute episodes maybe. Maybe they're even less than 30 minutes, but I'm binge watching it. I've been binge watching the show with Joseph and I do not binge TV. So if I'm watching more than one episode a day, you know it's good. I i've been laughing I've been emotional. It's hitting all those. Those high points of a good television show. I recommend you can if you are interested in donating to support Therapy, Roulette, and other production costs as well as coffee and yerba Mates. Please donate on our new support website, Kofi it's K-O dash F-I dot com. The link is in my link tree. I think you can donate three bucks, you can donate different amounts, but like three bucks is the minimum donation I think I set it at because that's like what coffee costs. Any amount goes a long way and I'm happy to have your support. It's in my link tree on my Instagram or if you don't do the link trees or Instagram, good for you. Then you can go on a web browser. And it's K-O dash F-I dot com slash Therapy Roulette. Also, if you listen to this podcast on Apple podcast or if you have an apple podcast account, please leave a review for Therapy Roulette, I will take any amount of stars I will take any jibberish language you want to put ideally if it's not jibberish, and it's a nice amount of stars, the more so the better. Just write what you think the podcast does does it make you laugh Does it make you think too hard? Does Michele talk too much about her therapy sessions? I don't know freight, whatever you want, just please leave a review on Apple podcasts. Because that's supposed to be a reflection of how good this podcast is. Thank you in advance. Yeah, that's it, I hope. I just hope talking to a new therapist will make me feel more grounded and more level headed. Cuz ever since we moved into this new house, and I've become a homeowner with a lot of shit to fix every day. Life has been very stressful. So I'm trying to remember what life was like before and trying to get back to myself, and I'm just so tired all the time. And I don't know why I got a lot of sleep. But I'm so exhausted. I will keep you posted. Don't worry. This week's guest is a musician. She's a mom, sometimes she's a dungeon master. I would like to welcome Melissa Lusk

Theme Song:

guest interview / a friend for you / strangers whose issues are relatable / guest interview / They're the voice that's new / this person has problems and they don't mind discussing it, but they still need a therapist / (Whos not me)

Michele Baci:

Welcome back to Therapy Roulette. I'm here this week with Melissa Lusk. She is a musician. She is a mom and she is sometimes a dungeon master Melissa, welcome to the podcast.

Melissa Lusk:

Thank you for having me.

Michele Baci:

Of course. What a weird thing to say Dungeon Master. I'm not in that world. So it's like quite the title throughout there.

Melissa Lusk:

It's a really aggressive pair of words, which is like, probably why they shortened it to dm because like, it's like a really big thing to like, say about yourself that you're like the master of dungeons.

Michele Baci:

Yes, it can't be taken lightly. I imagine.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, no, it's a really big responsibility.

Michele Baci:

Does that? Does, we can start with that if you want we just because I'm not very familiar with Dungeons and Dragons. I looked it up for this episode. But does that mean you like dictate the story as you play the game?

Melissa Lusk:

Oh, boy. Yes. Just if. Oh, goodness. So I'm so excited to be the first person to talk to you about Dungeons and Dragons. It's uh, so d&d is a tabletop RPG, which is a role playing game, okay. And there are lots of them. Besides Dungeons and Dragons, like especially right now we're sort of in like, this like of like a very special moment of people coming up with indie RPGs so like, d&d is the oldest one where you sort of like you come up with your like elf, warrior character and like, go fight a whole bunch of goblins in a cave and get treasure and whatever.

Michele Baci:

Like you do,

Melissa Lusk:

like you do. But there's games now where you play as like a bunch of kids in sort of like a stranger things world where you're like fighting supernatural things and your culdesac and there's ones where you go to space and there's like really sort of spooky was it's a really, it's a really cool time for RPGs there's one called thirsty sword lesbians that we're trying to get together for where you can like, like, if you're gonna fight somebody, you can also just like, try to seduce them instead,

Michele Baci:

in the game, or is it supposed to, like translate out of the game?

Melissa Lusk:

In the game? In the game, so basically, you know, we it's great for it's been great for the pandemic, because you can do it on zoom. And it's been so yeah, so this is, we're talking about our mutual friend, Hannah. She was one of the last people I saw before. We all sort of started quarantining, and we got drunk and I started talking to her about d&d, and then around like, me, she was like, You think you want to do that. And then we pull the party together, and now they're like some of my closest friends. Nice. It's a, it's a great way to, it's a great reason to get together. And it's a great way to roleplays if you can do it in a place where you feel safe, it's a great way to explore sides of yourself that you don't get to explore the rest of the time. I have a friend who is a therapist, and she actually like, uses character creation as a way to help people. As like an exercise for people to sort of imagine some other person that they could be or would want to be.

Michele Baci:

Yeah,

Melissa Lusk:

it's pretty cool.

Michele Baci:

I can, I can see that like, yes, somewhat similar to Another creative pursuit like acting or writing, like you're taking on new persona in some other pursuit and then that kind of helps you see yourself in another way.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, um, the Yeah. And like the, the thing about the thing about doing an RPG, or like creating a character becoming a player in a game is that like, it gives you an activity, right? You show up and like, your, your dm, your, your game, your GM, your game master, your Dungeon Master is like, Alright, you're here. You know, something's afoot in the castle. And you know, what are you going to do, and you can do whatever you want, which is as like a GM or a DM, like, it's something you learned as your players can do whatever they want. And it's not always what you think they're going to do. Um, but it just gives you this wonderful choice. And then you're sitting around the room with a whole bunch of other people who, depending on how committed they are to the character they're playing. There's opportunities to, like, connect with each other. And to, like, say something that you would never say, in your life. But like, it's not a line that somebody else gave you to read. And it's not just something that you're going to write into your like, right into a document, like you get to see it. In, you know, there's always talk about, you know, things, things that are, you know, you always have to be mindful of your safe spaces, but you get to actually say it out loud, to a pretend person, or like your friend who's also pretending to be a person. You know, you can like it's, it's such a, it's such a wonderful place I love I love them so much, and I recommend them to literally anyone if you've ever thought about doing it. There's so many different games. And it's like, it's such a great way to to pass time, especially when you can't come outside. You're living out fantasies and imagining new ones. Yeah, yeah, it's so cool. And it's wonderful. an ode to who we're talking about our friend Hannah Fairchild. She does our theme music and she's on a previous episode of Therapy Roulette, where she does talk a little bit about Dungeons and Dragons. And I feel like whenever I've talked to her during this pandemic, she'll like get really excited talking about d&d and I'm always like, it seems like a like a weird like almost evil passion that she has she's like it's a secret passion and maybe because it's like an exclusive club like you have to have your own little circle or something so funny I mean yeah, she really like for you she's in like three games now. I mean, our game our game ended I had to kind of bring it to a pause to have the baby but like could, couldn't keep that going?

Michele Baci:

That makes sense. But yeah, it seems cool and you're organizing it you're keeping it afloat I'm surprised you can play it so well virtually but I guess they've they've figured that out.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, there's actually I was in a game before you know, before we were before you had to do things on zoom. I was in a game that we just played over audio and then there's a couple of websites that make like battle maps so when it's when it's time to throw down with the evil elves or whatever there's a place where you can like move your little Tolkien around and be like I'm gonna go over here and I'm gonna cast this spell But yeah, I mean it's called they call it theater of the mind. Like there's there's a lot I mean, it's just like a campfire story in a lot of ways you know, except you're in it and you can kind of choose your own adventure. I actually really enjoyed that and that that that game moved from audio to video and it was kind of a bummer like it was nice to see everybody I guess but there was just something really special and sort of like intimate about like just hearing each other's voices mm hmm and also like something really nice about being able to play a game and like fold your laundry or like lie on the floor like when you're on zoom you have to at least be sitting upright that's like the minimum requirement right I'm trying to be Yeah Um, so yeah, I did I missed I missed our audio only adventures but yeah, it's it's easy to do it's it's a time commitment for sure. But there's so many possibilities and it's it's it can be so gratifying and special. People You know, there's a whole cottage industry of people to just pay artists to draw pictures of their character. Like you did my my partner commissioned an artist to do like whole group of us that we played, but like Stranger Things type RPG. And it was it meant a lot to all of us to like, have our little like, yearbook picture. Sure.

Michele Baci:

That's cool.

Melissa Lusk:

It's, It's so special

Michele Baci:

where where would someone start looking? If they're interested in RPGs? Like, would you just reach out to anyone you know, who does them? Or is there like a good online community to find people?

Melissa Lusk:

So I have never seen, I have never built a game from an online community. Um, there is. But there is a website called roll 20. Roll 20 dot net, I think, and they're a place that makes the battle maps and stuff. But I think it's also a place where you can look for games I'm looking at right now and just see, okay. Oh, and it's Yeah, roll. And then the number 20 dot net. Yeah, join a game, there's a little button called joining game.

Michele Baci:

roll 20 dot net?

Melissa Lusk:

mhm roll 20 dot net But there's also Dungeons and Dragons. Over the past few years, they've digitized like all of their stuff. And a lot of it is like, you have to spend more money on it. But there's a great, there's a tremendous amount of resources. But the thing that I haven't said yet, which is the most important thing is that there's a whole genre. There's a whole entertainment genre that is called an actual play. And actual play is it sounds so dumb, but it's basically you listening or watching other people play RPGs. And so the most famous one right now is called critical role. It's like, critical role aro l II. they've finished out their second campaign at last year's, but they're all voice actors. And so they've all known each other for a long time. So they have great chemistry and like they can improvise super well. So it's sort of like somebody my friend described it as like, like the point of d&d, like nobody actually does it like that at home. But it's very entertaining. But there's also one called dimension 20, which is a really wonderful there's one called the adventure zone. There's a whole bunch out there and like it's a great way cuz I played d&d for a little while and then got away from it. And then started watching critical role. And it's just a great because it's especially a game like Dungeons and Dragons has so many flippin rules. How do we feel about cursing on the show? Do we do it? Do we not because yeah, okay, I have so many fucking rules. And it's like, a lot to remember. So watching other people be like, you know, first of all, forgetting what the rules are sometimes, or just like watching other people kind of do it is so much easier for me, especially in particular, because you're refreshing you're relearning Maybe, yeah. And like, looking, you know, I've built characters out of a book since then. And I don't remember anything that they do. You know, like, I'll be like, well, I can do that. It'll be like three months later, and I'm like, Oh, shit, I could have been doing that cool thing.

Michele Baci:

you're out of the practice?

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, but you also can watch those shows, or listen to those podcasts whenever you want, and you don't need anybody else. But if you decide to enter that fandom, then there's lots of people, lots of people who you can connect with. Right? It's a really sweet fandom as well. like you'd probably find a subreddit or something. Just to like as a starting off point. Yeah. Yeah, I can't recommend it enough. It's it's so special.

Michele Baci:

I know in pre pandemic times, there's game stores, or maybe it's just in major cities. But out here in LA, there's a store called giggy T's where it's like a little gaming store and you can go and you can play a game and you can like comedy shows and stuff like that. So I went with a friend once and there are so many game nerds there because that's where they go. And my friend and I were like, we just have this place on Yelp. What do you do here? And all these people came at us they're like, what kind of games do you like? What's your skill level? And they helped us choose a game that we can play at the place. Yeah, it was a cool experience

Melissa Lusk:

what did you play?

Michele Baci:

We played we told them we were not good at games. I'm not good at games really. So I was like basic level please. Start starter game. And I think we played Dixit

Melissa Lusk:

Oh, Dixit's so fun. Those pictures are so fun. It is really fun. And I you know, my friend like got me the game later as a gift and I've seen it on some I think it's in some scary movie. They mentioned it and I was like, Oh my god, they're mentioning Dixit. That's so cool. So now I'm in the culture just a little bit. I love it. Yeah, gosh, that's Yeah, that's one of the first things we got and it's it's a fun that's a fun one. I wonder where our coffee is. We still have it. We have a lot of games.

Michele Baci:

It's probably deep in your closet. It's it's level one.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Oh, this there's nothing like it though. I mean, especially if you grew up playing Balderdash, which like I feel like a lot of us did. And Balderdash. Just like not Nope, they're not making it anymore. Like It's that same kind of scratch.

Michele Baci:

Yeah. Very cool. Um, so we wanted to talk about coming out and being bisexual. Do you want to share your coming out story?

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, and actually, it's, um, it's, uh, this is like, Bisexual Awareness Week.

Michele Baci:

So yeah, so fitting

Melissa Lusk:

such a good time.

Michele Baci:

Because I, I wasn't aware until like Twitter open. So was this was this you? Melissa? Were you like I want to talk about it this week?

Melissa Lusk:

it I think so consciously it might have been

Michele Baci:

We're recording September 22. I think this whole week is like bi, Bi week, Bi Awareness Week.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, I believe that is correct. I didn't I didn't do it on purpose. But, um, either way. Sounds very fitting. Yeah. It's Equinox Libra season started soon. It's a big day. It's a busy day, busy day.

Michele Baci:

The universe is working.

Melissa Lusk:

The Internet. Yeah. So the I think that that like, as a segue, I mean, I so I came out as bisexual when I was 33. I had been married for five years already. Yeah, for five years already. And like we had to get together and

Michele Baci:

your partner didn't know, before you married?

Melissa Lusk:

No. And I didn't know before we got married. And I think that that was like that coming into, like, coming into yourself as an adult. is like, interesting, because it's like, what do you what are you going to do with this? And actually, my good friend Meg is she writes for auto shredder, and she's putting together a whole round table right now like, like, a four of people who have come out as bisexual come out as bisexual when they're in a long term, monogamous relationship, and like, getting confronted with the question of like, well, like, what's the point? Why did you bother to do that? Um, and so, I mean, I guess because in a lot of ways, like I am in a very secure place in many aspects of the world, like, I have financial stability, I have a life partner that is that I feel safe with, like, I have, I'm not like at risk of a lot, if that makes sense. And so, for me, it was a completely safe environment to come out, because there weren't going to be any consequences for me, like, I wasn't gonna, you know, I was gonna lose my partner, I wasn't gonna lose my job. Like, I wasn't gonna be ostracized by my community, because I live in New York City. And like, that's not a thing. Like, it was just, it was kind of, I mean, it was sort of easy, breezy to just be like, Hey, I think this is true. And so, you know, I told you know, I told my partner, like, as we were falling asleep, like on my birthday, because like, what else would you

Unknown:

drop some news like that? Yeah, at least, it's your birthday. It's not your partner's birthday. Exactly. Let me steal your special day. Make it about me, surprise.

Melissa Lusk:

And, you know, hit there, it was a conversation, but it was like a conversation. You know, when you're with somebody for a decade or whatever, there's all kinds of serious others that you have to have conversations about, you know, and just talk about money or your parents or whatever. Like, it just was another one of those conversations of just clarifying where we stood and like who we are. And, you know, at no point was I like, that's gonna leave me. Because of this. You didn't

Michele Baci:

have any like, insecurity, no fear. You were like, I just need to share this.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Um, and so like, then I like, you know, a couple weeks later, I texted my parents and my brother. And they're like, Yay, my brother was like, me, too, I think. And so that was kind of fun. That's cool. And then I did like a Facebook post. But like, I think the main reason that, for me the reason that I wanted to come out and I wanted to come out publicly, and I wanted it to be like, a documented thing. Was that like, sort of, because I III, am like for, you know, to use the shorthand, like I'm a woman who has it all. Like, that is such a that's such a heteronormative trope, right? Is that like,

Unknown:

meaning you're perfect on paper or like, you need, like, got it all together, you got the partner, the marriage, the child, you have a good job. Yeah, exactly, then it's like any, you know, there's all kinds of problems when it comes to all of those things. And it's like, you know, it's how it's like, basically, it's unsustainable. And all of those things are, you know, sort of baked straight into, like, the patriarchy and capitalism, and like, they're not actually for like your well being as a person necessarily. I don't. So America has been working. So go check off your boxes, and then report back. Yeah. Yeah. And, and like, do not report back until you have done them. You know, and probably we don't want to hear from you just go do it. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of weird society expectations, especially for women, because women for so long have been like, the home, stay at home people, like go raise the family. And that's your number one. And we're definitely like, moving out of that. And marriage and kids aren't fully expected, but they are pretty expected. So it's like, yeah, the implications still there. Yeah. Or it's like, you know, it's not rather it's like, it's always like, Oh, she chose not to write rather than, like, you know, how brave and strange, you know, how brave

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, like, all of those things. There's not none of those things account for queerness. And, like, I think that they aren't meant to. But, you know, listen, I'm, I love my partner. Like, I'm not I'm not sad that I came out after a point in my life where I could like, date more people. You know what I mean? Yeah, cuz I guess that's, like, part of the thing of like, well, what's the point? You know, like, are you going to, like, are you going to go, like this one? Like, that's, you can be married and still decide to date some women. Like, that's, that's 100%. Okay, as long as it's okay with their, your you and your partner, and you work it out.

Michele Baci:

Make sure you talk about boundaries.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, that's got to be mutual. But like, for me, like, that's not so important. That like, just having it be true. And have having the time. And, like, the time to, like, think about it, and to sort of come to terms with a part of, like, a definitely true part of who I am. That like, because of heteronormativity because of like, me as like, especially just like wanting to do what I was supposed to do all of the time. Like, nobody ever was like, hey, do you like girls to like, No, you know, like, there's nobody was ever like, Hey, this is an option. And like, I'm not, I'm not a trailblazer. I wasn't like,

Unknown:

I'm gonna figure this out on my own. Yeah, I'll be the first. Yeah.

Michele Baci:

That's a good point.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. And it's like, it really gets my goat that you bet that that coming out is something that requires any degree of bravery.

Michele Baci:

Mm hmm. Yeah. Cuz we don't come out as straight or heteronormative. Right? It just assumed. Yeah,

Melissa Lusk:

exactly. Like, that's, that's the reason you have to come out. Because, because every year because, like, you have to exit what is like sort of the, you know, the accepted, you know, mode of sexuality. And it like, it can make you vulnerable. It can in harm's way, like it can, you know, there's, it can be so unsafe, just to be honest about who you are. And I think that that I don't think that it's bad, it is bad. It's a bad way of conducting humanity. And so, like, it matters to me that I get that like, even though like it's not going to directly affect the way I conduct my life. In fact, I'll get to the ways that it has a woman but even though like, I never No one's ever gonna see me out with a girlfriend. I'm still by just like kids or, you know, the kids like kids know, their

Unknown:

You know, what am I trying to say? Like, it's, it's not who you're with, it's who you are. Yeah, you don't need to be you don't need to be like peacocking it or display in public, like you just are coming to terms with that part of your identity and announcing and telling people you love. This is who I am. That's like a huge weight off your chest, I would assume. Yeah, it feels fucking great. what? Yeah, anyway, it's also but it feels like in the culture in American culture, we've only started talking about bisexuality as a totally acceptable thing very recently, because I've had I've had at least one close friend like identify that way in my life, but it was a decade plus ago, whatever. I was like, What like, What is she doing like this? Is it real? Like you can't like both genders? And it's like, well, that just because we don't know a lot of people saying they are bisexual. Like we weren't. We weren't used to it yet. Yeah, it's definitely real. It's definitely real. And I mean, I listen, I feel like there's I feel like the Kinsey skills are really outdated reference to make, but like, the whole point is that like, unless you're like, way over here, or way over there. You're bought. And like, that's where on the spectrum, you're on the spectrum. Yeah. Like, it doesn't matter if you're like it like genuinely, if you're like, Listen, you live in a world where there's Zoe Kravitz, and Oscar Isaac, like, show me that the majority of people aren't like, I mean, yeah, it would like, yes, what guys? Guess what that means? I was looking up. It's all it's all over Twitter this week, because it's by visibility week, and I think it was Human Rights Campaign tweeted, like, being bi is not a phase. And it's like, that's a good point. Because I remember in college, when my friend said, like, you know, I'm by all of our friends were like, We don't believe you. It's like, well, I'm sure it's hard to come to terms with that. It's hard to announce it. And then for your friends to be like, shut up. Like, it's not, not really the support you want.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, and it's like, it's sort of a cliche of, like, you know, by people are always talking about how they're by. But, you know, it's, there's, but there's like, like, let's talk some more about how we hit the patriarchy, because I think a lot of that stuff is rooted in like, yeah, you know, like, oh, she'll make up with girls at a party or whatever. But like, she's going to get married to a guy and like, then it's going to be that and whatever. And there's a lot a lot

Michele Baci:

Well, just making assumptions about your life.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, but also like that, they were probably right to a certain extent, because, especially in the, you know, the 90s or the early aughts, like up until very recently, like, if you were the kind of person who was not ready to like, live your entire life, as like, openly queer in a homophobic society,

Michele Baci:

right? Because you're making a pretty like public announcement that probably will stick with you as you're like, Am I ready for this?

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. And do you happen to be attracted to a gender that like everyone's like a okay with you making them your life partner? And like, that's fine for you. Like, yeah, do that because like That's, that's one of the things that makes me so angry is like, that's an easier choice. It's an easier choice. And not it's not a cowardly choice. It's not like a, you know, like, I should be like half done choice. The whole point of being attracted to your gender and other genders is that you're attracted to your gender and other genders. And so like, it's entirely possible and has been done, you know, and is still being done that you fall in love. You're like, if you're like, you fall in love with the gender that everyone's expecting you to fall in love with. And it's good, and it's great. Um, there's nothing. You know, there's nothing to judge in that. But it just means that visibility, like visibility is low. And it's not. If you're not somebody who wants to use their bravery, by in their, in your relationships in your intimate partnerships, then and you're somebody who can find fulfilment, operating the way you're supposed to, according to your gender, then

Unknown:

why would you? Why would you go through that, right? Like, if you're a straight woman, for example, and you you find fulfilment, pursuing a man like dating a heterosexual man, and you really do want to get married and have kids go, go chase your dreams, right? Even though it's what the patriarchy has built, and what we should be fighting against? Maybe that's what some people really want. I mean, I I'm dating a man, I want to get married, identify as straight. You know, I'm existing in the patriarchy. Yeah, it's not great. But this is just like my life at this moment. So I fight the patriarchy in other ways. And I tried to help women and talk to women all the time. And, you know, I think I'm helping feminism on my own, but it does drive me crazy that like, the institution of marriage is built to hold women back. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's wild to think about now. That Do you like be married? Because to me, I'm not married, I'm not engaged. And to me, marriage is very scary. It's like, Whoa, you're signing a contract? And that is forever? Yeah, I think that's part of why it was easier when I was 26. So it wasn't like fully thinking things through, like, you know.

Melissa Lusk:

Also, part of it was like, this is you know, my partner I've been with since I was 21. And so the older you get, the more you have your own adulthood in your own life, and you make your choices about like, your finances and whatever. Like, the further down the line, you find your person, the more things you know about yourself, on your own. And I learned all those things with Matt, you know, we

Michele Baci:

might I mean,

Unknown:

you're definitely not a full person at 21. Like, they'll figure it out a lot.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, oh, yeah. Not at all. And so yeah, that's why I was 32. You realize I was queer.

Unknown:

Do you have like, people you look up to who are bisexual or like, are in the queer space? Like, are there celebrities you look up to or just other people on the internet where you're like, I think I identify with this person and like that, that is me like Margaret Cho, for example. Do you have like bisexual icons? Oh, gosh, there's so many. Um, let's see. and gentlemen, a was

Melissa Lusk:

was a big one where I was like, Oh, my God. She's Yeah, let's see. I mean, the first two people that come to mind and I'm just gonna say it because I adore them are friends of mine who are also in my d&d campaign. One is, is Mike Jones. Well, she is a really special person and really sharp tarot reader. And she writes about, she's the one who's putting together this round table for auto straddle. Like she writes about bisexuality all the time. She's like, one of the people in my life that like we're always talking about it. And then another is a good friend of mine. Maddie Flynn, who was like one of my first friends that I knew was by like, and it wasn't because we had talked about it, it was because I saw them posting about it all the time on Facebook,

Michele Baci:

right? Like somebody is very open about it.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. And it was one of the first times I was like, oh, Okay, um, and like, in like Maddie is an actor and like you can see her in Doctor deaths on. But, um, there I look up to them so much. And they also I also get to have them in my life, which is super special.

Unknown:

Think I mean, that's so cool when you came out, you got such an overwhelming, overwhelmingly supportive response because I know, I don't remember Margaret Cho's joke about it, but I know when she came out as bisexual to her immigrant parents, or they might just think this 11 hurt home country, which I think is Korea, but she came out as bi to her parents, and they were like, Oh, we don't want to know, like, like, you just get buried. Like, you know, just speed like, why would you make us so anxious? Yeah, but she's from a different generation. So I'd also everyone's parents have different reactions to that. So it was just funny what she tells her story. It's like, such a different reaction from what you expect modern day reactions to be. Yeah, absolutely. Um, but I think that that's you, it brings up a good point, because like, there is like, inherent uncertainty. When it comes to bisexuality as a thing where it's like, you don't necessarily know who's going to be your next partner, like the playing field, just like busts all the way open.

Melissa Lusk:

And, like, that's uncomfortable for people because like, you know, we sort of, especially with loved ones, like you kind of want to have an idea of what's coming next. Especially if, like, for family members, like if grandchildren may or may not come out of it, or something like that, you know, there's because, you know, because, like some institutions are tied to moving forward. In, you know, moving forward to prosperity, and others are tied to sort of like, having a harder life because being queer is harder when you're out. Like, you know, it's it's a bummer. But let's see, I can't know bisexual icons come to mind me Gillian Anderson. is she's just an icon period

Unknown:

is Gillian Anderson by I'm not even like up to date with the by icon. So like, referencing, Margaret Chao, who is still very active, but like, I mostly know Margaret Cho, David Bowie from like, back in the day. beautiful. Even more cool, but you can just be real with the people in your life. And like, you know, people who might also identify the same you're like, Hey, we we can relate to each other in that way. Yeah, it's, it's really special.

Melissa Lusk:

But it ties back to RPGs. Because guess what, when you're the dungeon master, and you make the world for you, everybody's game. Everybody's game. Like, it's because you get to pick you know, like, if

Michele Baci:

you get to assign identities. Yeah,

Melissa Lusk:

why would a full rest of the time I have to live in a world where, like, you know, people have to come out if they're not. If they're not straight, then like, Oh, yeah, 100% I'm gonna build a world where nobody gives shit. Yeah, and like, you know, like the two the two guys that run that in over there. They're married, like, you know, whatever it is, like, just just envisioning the opposite. And there's so much good speculative fiction out there. That does that, that just like, drops you into a world where, like, genuinely nobody gives a fuck and like, there's still plenty of drama because relationships cause drama. But like, the is somebody, you know, is like, Is somebody gay? Are they not gay? Like, no, everybody's? Nobody's queer because everybody's queer. You know? It's, it's so nice to be able to do that and to give you know, give pleasure, but I have a problem with my party right now. Hannah accepted a lot of people anytime you want to, to a certain situation they're doing to try to like, the answer is, all of them are me because I have to pretend to be all of them.

Unknown:

But it just happened to be like a super horny group. And that was very fun. I mean, yeah, especially if you're playing in the past year and a half I'm sure people are. People are just dying for attention. Anything like the hardiness level is probably off the charts. Yeah, it's, it's wild. It's because like I had like quests and stuff. I don't think anybody really cared about the quests. They just wanted to like roll into the tavern and see who was there. We're just here to get wasted or Whatever you do That's funny. Um, let's talk about therapy if you want to switch tangents, tell me, how's therapy going? Are you currently doing it? So I went on a little bit of a, when the baby was born, I kind of two things happen. So

Melissa Lusk:

my son was born. And I just was like, I cannot commit to weekly sessions right now I have no idea what my life is going to be. Oh, yeah,

Michele Baci:

the baby. I'm, like, from what I hear, it takes up a lot of time.

Melissa Lusk:

It takes a lot of time. Yeah, and but it's interesting, because like, it's also a time when you need a lot of support. So you know, we managed a couple of sessions, but then my therapist had a baby. And so she was on maternity leave for a good portion of the summer. And so we've been kind of trying to get back into sessions again. But as you may also know that having a baby is really looking expensive. So it's been like, a little bit tough,

Michele Baci:

like another woman tax. Yeah, like the

Melissa Lusk:

reintroducing the expensive weekly therapy

Unknown:

has been not great. Right now. So how expensive is it to have a baby?

Melissa Lusk:

I'm going to tell you how expensive I'm going to tell you how much the hospital charged me. And they'll tell you how much I had to pay.

Michele Baci:

So it's pleased you

Melissa Lusk:

having a baby, having I had a C section having a C section in the hospital costs over $200,000 200,000. Because Yeah, it was just for like the delivery itself. I think it was like 170 grand. And then, on top of that it was you know, two days in the hospital, and you know, the postnatal care for the baby. All the doctors and nurses. And

Michele Baci:

these are all different line items they're adding to your bill.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. And I had reached out in advance to be like, Hey, listen, I'm, you know, I, I need financial assistance, like had insurance. So some of the some of it was offset by insurance, but I was like, also, I just helped me out here. And so I got, I got that. But even after all of that, after getting extra Paisley having insurance, I still owe like $4,000

Unknown:

I mean, definitely brought that cost down a lot. So yeah, so yeah, it's like when you like look at the big number, and then you're like, Okay, like we got it down to this, but it's still like four grand, four grand. The number I had in my head, I thought it I've heard somewhere it costs 10 grand to have a baby. So I was like, it's got to be around 10 grand. Do you got it down? Is it just the amount you owe is four grand? Or did you get your bill down to four grand? The amount I owe is four grand? Okay, so I didn't go through the itemized bills, which I've heard also helps, but, you know, with, yeah, with like, the hospital write offs. I didn't I just that that was the amount of paperwork I was willing to do. Yeah, it's a lot. I mean, right now I'm trying to negotiate like an annual checkup bill. And I'm like, do I even want to call them like, it's probably worth it. You know, it's just like, yeah, if you talk to your insurance, and you said you, you talk to the hospital to ask for financial assistance, like I've heard a lot of medical bills are kind of out of nowhere. So talking to them, most of the time, hopefully will help you. Yeah, no, I have talked to my insurance as well. There. It's, it's Yeah, it's a lot and I'm not on a great I'm not on a great plan right now. which is unfortunate. But anyway, are reintroducing therapy bills right now. And like, Oh, yeah, but also you know, what is the

Melissa Lusk:

then it's like, What value do you place on your mental health? Like, if you can, you know, if, is it more important to make sure you get to therapy every week than it is to get your ice cream and whatever. We're getting into like avocado toast conversation, I don't want to go there necessarily. But like it's been a little wonky coming back into therapy after a summer off, and like, the newborn and everything. Because like, also, you know, she's got a three month old. So like, it's, yeah,

Michele Baci:

you're both all over the place. Yeah.

Melissa Lusk:

And it's like, I mean, at this point, both of us have had sessions where we're like, also like feeding our baby while we're like talking to each other. But it's nice because you know, that nobody's weirded out by that. But the reason I got into therapy was because I was when I found out I was pregnant with with with My son, and I had had a miscarriage earlier in the year. And so that was hard and I wasn't in therapy. And I just was really worried about it happening again. And I wanted to make sure that I had a support network in place for myself, in case I had to go through it again. That's smart, that was really scared. The other two times I've done that I've started therapy, and the first time I was in college, it was a long time ago, we're both sort of pre emptive. Like, I think this is about to be hard. So like, let me get somebody, let me get somebody on my team right now.

Michele Baci:

Right? That's the best way to start to it's like before I'm in crisis mode. Let me hire someone, or at least like have some ideas of who I could talk to if if I need to talk to someone.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, got it, it's so it's so important because, you know, I have a, someone very close to me is going through a tough time right now. And they don't have therapy in place, and it's just a whole other, whole other thing to navigate. Because when you're in a place like that, you don't have the energy to go looking or to go you know, and actually I will use this as a small little plug that I ended up on like a talk line, because like I was just having a tough time. And I just wanted to see what they were like. And it was wonderful. Unless they're like, you know, the way I ended up so I have I'm from Massachusetts, and my cell phone is still like a Massachusetts number. And so I call it like I was called like a service that sort of will route you to whoever's available and I think they routed me to Massachusetts because of my area code.

Michele Baci:

Oh well that's pretty helpful though cuz then you're talking to someone you can relate to on one level.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, we like we didn't figure it out till later. But yeah, I mean, the state of Massachusetts just like has a talk line and you can just call it and it's just like I feel like when you if you've ever used a resource like that, which I never had, it can feel like it's not meant for you for some reason or that like that's for somebody else who's really going through it like that's not for me even though I'm having a hard time like I don't get to use this thing,

Michele Baci:

right like maybe that's an extreme that's only for crises or it's only for it's like a 911 but it's it's just there if you need it really.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. And it was like yeah, it was really I was really glad that I did it just just to know um yeah, so I can't can't recommend that enough that there really are people who are just there to listen

Michele Baci:

that's awesome because I definitely heard the other side of the equation where someone calls into a hotline they're kind of desperate and then the person's not helpful at all So no, it's good to get someone you can actually have a conversation with

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, but it was funny because like my my baby was like in the living room and like he does this thing really he's not crying he's just like yelling so like I'm trying to like talk to this person and he's just like ah in the background so it made it a little hard to really connect in this instance

Unknown:

the baby has not learned phone etiquette yet. Oh gosh, no, I mean the button that the six year old has on their phone so do you want to talk about the miscarriage more do you want like Was it your first experience with a miscarriage or yeah it was so this is my only experience with miscarriage because

Melissa Lusk:

I What is it like I went through elective sterilization whatever like i like i like got my tubes tied whatever so like there's no more babies happening in this house and I'm so stoked about it

Michele Baci:

after your last after the recent baby you got your tubes Yeah,

Melissa Lusk:

okay. Well cuz like basically like I was like I knew I was gonna have a C section they were like hey listen while we're in there we can just like and I was like yeah oh did

Michele Baci:

they offer it they unprompted? Yeah. Whoa.

Melissa Lusk:

And they were like hey, you can say no literally at any point like you can be like on the table and be like nevermind i don't want this and we will stop but like, let us know. Like I had to sign a form it's like go sign a form being like I don't like I'm Melissa of sound mind and body. It's wild reproductive health is a lot of paperwork.

Unknown:

That's what it is. I didn't know they did that.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Cuz like there's I mean, it's, it's a shame because there's so many. I'm glad it was so easy for me because for so many women, it's like, very difficult because like husband's permission and all kinds of bullshit like that. But anyway, that's not to say one miscarriage only miscarriage because the shop was closed. But it was I don't know how to say they separate felt wrong the whole time. Like, I knew I was like, when I got pregnant. I like wasn't excited about it. And like, I was just really anxious and really, like, just I felt like really, it felt really wrong. And I just I felt like I was, I couldn't like, I didn't want to pick up my daughter because I was like, Oh, she's too heavy. Like, this is bad. This is bad. I just like, yeah, it was the whole experience was like, didn't quite feel right. And, and then a couple days before I was supposed to go to my first ultrasound. It was, you know, it became, I was starting to get sort of, like, physical cues that like this. pregnancy was not going to be sustainable. I don't know this for anyone who, any listeners who have had an ultrasound for any reason. You know, it's like, have you have you had an ultrasound for like an IUD or anything like that

Michele Baci:

now? I'm so still ultrasound free.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Okay. So it's, it's kind of weird, because there's not any lag time between you seeing what they're seeing. Like, you

Michele Baci:

see it simultaneously, it's up there. Yeah.

Melissa Lusk:

And I've had two instances now where the person doing the ultrasound did not see what they thought they were gonna see. And, um, and then in this in this instance, it was really weird, because, you know, I've had I've had a kid before, like, I sort of remember what things were supposed to look like, but like, didn't nobody was saying anything. Right. And so, you know, this, the sonographer which sounds so much like stenographer, but the stenographer was like I want to talk to the doctor doctor came back and was like, I'm very sorry and then they very graciously like let us go sit in the examination room like literally as long as we wanted and like someone came in and was like, Okay, here's the things we can do. You know, here's your options what wait sucked and it was that it wasn't until that moment that I learned that like one in three pregnancies and then a miscarriage. Like it's it's a high

Michele Baci:

statistic. Yeah.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, and like most of the time, you know, most of those miscarriages happen before you even realize you're pregnant. You know, like you'll just think like oh, my cycle was off like that because in my case, and in many cases there's like maybe a chromosomal abnormality like it's not a it's not a viable pregnancy and so your body's like okay sorry yeah, we got to start again and you know, I was I do consider myself very fortunate that like that that was the case for me that after you know that after losing one pregnancy I was able to get pregnant within the year because I wanted to and I felt way better about all of it like the whole every single step of the way but it was so fucking scared. The first like I didn't when I went in for my first ultrasound I just didn't look

Unknown:

because I just didn't want to Alright, well you're getting over the loss of one pregnancy and then starting a new ones you have to come to terms of processing that first loss. Yeah. Again, so it used to be much more like, don't talk about it Hush Hush. When I was growing up like knowing certain adults as I was like, when I was a kid, I knew certain adults who had experienced miscarriage like we weren't supposed to talk about it. It's the secret, you know? Yeah, I think in the pandemic, I've seen a few more friends. Like I have friends having babies now who have talked about miscarriages publicly, or I know slyke celebrities talking about it. And it's nice that people are finally like opening up and saying, No, I went through this. It's been terrible. Like, I am kind of going through grief. And no one's really talked about it like that before. Yeah. And it's like I used to like New Zealand, that's, you know, that allows you like bereavement time. After you experience something like that. Of course, New Zealand does? Of course, yeah. Listen, to get it all figured out. So small, it's such a smaller place, much easier to make things happen. And it's run by a woman, right? Yeah, I know. I'm blanking on her name. And I've been stalling to see if I can remember it. It's not coming. I don't know. I don't know her name, but you are doing great, whoever you are. But, one, how pregnant are you supposed to be how far along in the pregnancy are supposed to be when you get that first ultrasound? It's between I understand why we do it. But I think that it, I think that it gives people a false impression of what it means to be a certain amount pregnant, especially when we talk about termination and miscarriage. Yeah. So I'm gonna ask you to backtrack a little bit because I don't I don't have the experience you have. I'm not quite sure of all the timeline. So I'm sure it's fucked up. And I'm angry with you. But so they're saying your period, your last period ended this day, two weeks go by and then you're supposed to have an ovulation period, like on the third week?

Melissa Lusk:

Yes, so so like so the sort of like the, the way that like our monthly cycles go is like, they all the phases have names. I don't know those names. But basically, there's observation where the egg implants in the uterus. And then there's a couple of weeks where like, the egg is not fertilized. And then that's what we meant straight because the we sort of shed that lining of the uterus and then start over again, and then build that lighting up again, it comes down, blah, blah, blah.

Michele Baci:

And because the doctors start the doc, like the medical community says you're pregnant, six weeks, because your last period was September 1, and therefore it's been six weeks since September 1. Is that how they calculate it?

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, well, because basically, it's it's just because sometimes women don't necessarily know or sorry, not people don't necessarily know, the day that they conceived or which, you know, but but most people can keep track of their cycles. So it's a more reliable indicator to say like, even though the pregnancy itself started on the day, even though like you got pregnant on the day that you That your egg was fertilized just for counting weeks when it comes to like seeing your doctor, they count back until your last period just because that's the more reliable day that you can say like, Oh yeah, this is this is what I had my period. Because I've ulation is not as obvious of an event. And unless you're like tracking it, which lots of people do, which I was at the time, you don't know, you don't know what day it was that you were oscillating, you know, yeah. We just did those, those that thing Unless Unless you're really paying attention you don't know when you're ovulating. So it's, I understand why it's not like a that's one thing where it's like, it's not like it's not misogyny it's like backdating the pregnancies of the last menstrual period is not misogyny, but it does give an incorrect picture of especially at early stages of pregnancy. How long someone has actually been pregnant.

Michele Baci:

Or it is it can be misogyny. Like in the case of like the abortion law in Texas.

Melissa Lusk:

Yes, exactly. It can be used for missing for misogynistic ends. Um, but yeah, so that's that's something that I do want to clear up because it's like, you know, it makes sense if someone's like, Oh, yeah, you're eight weeks pregnant. Like you would assume that someone's been pregnant for eight weeks? Not like not less

Michele Baci:

about eight weeks Yeah, give or take a few weeks. Yeah, that's so wild.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad that we got to talk about that because it is it because it means that you you know we think about our cycles is like four week cycles but you wouldn't necessarily know you were pregnant. If you at six weeks you might not have actually come around to realize that you had missed your period you know, like you might not necessarily have caught up to the fact that your body was doing something different than it already has and that's one of the things that so diabolical about it

Unknown:

yeah, I mean there's there's reason for that reality show I didn't know I was pregnant. Yeah, that is wild somehow it is possible Yeah. Yeah, that's a show that I don't think I can actually watch a whole episode of I've Yeah, I've never watched it I could just I'd like in my imagination I'm looking at like how on self aware Could you be or baby your body just really off but it's baffling? Yeah, yeah, that's it another pregnant but at least they got a TV show. It's out there. I apologize for the Carlisle Carlisle I'm going off. You've you've been very patient with all the noises going on in this recording. Thank you. Oh, sure. Actually, no, I haven't really? I haven't heard them. You have a really good mic. Okay. We've had the ice cream truck. My boyfriend was hammering something. Spit like a circle of noises going on. I did hear that ice cream. Check. I did do that ice cream. It's so loud. It seems to come through every time I'm recording lately. I'm like, Oh, they know. Yeah. You want some ice cream? That's funny. Um, so yeah, those were all my questions. Is there anything else you want to share before we spin the roulette wheel?

Melissa Lusk:

No, I just thought this has been really fun. Thanks for like dealing with my overtired. rantings lately. Um,

Michele Baci:

I know you've been great.

Unknown:

Thank you so much for having me. I really ready to spin the wheel. Let's do it. Alright, let's do it. The car alarm stop and then it's restarted. We'll keep that soundtrack. Okay, if you could have any superpower, what would you choose? And why? feel like this is a good one with the dungeons and dragons. RPGs background. Oh my god. Yeah. It's it's a tough one. I think ultimately, it would still be flying though.

Melissa Lusk:

classic, classic. Maybe because maybe because I've spent so many it's so much time like learning the rules of different spells and stuff like that. I don't want any arcane powers. Yeah, I think there's something really it's flying it's so outside of anything that I will experience in my life. You know, there's some you know, I guess also telekinesis, but I don't really want I don't want to move other things. So although What do people say about like, with telekinesis, you could technically move your body telekinetically but I don't think that that sounds like too much thinking. No, I think just flying because it seems like it's Easy, you know for creatures that can fly it's as natural as walking is to us, but you get to like, be in the air. And like, separate from gravity a little bit. That seems really nice because also it's like not a superpower. It's not like a combat based superpower and like I'm a lover not a fighter like I don't want to you know, I don't want to like have super strength ratings. I don't want to punch anybody.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, I definitely flying flying seems really like easy add on to the human life. Like let's let's also be able to fly and overlook things. Maybe not always buy a plane ticket seems pretty nice. Yeah, exactly.

Melissa Lusk:

And then you're still and then but like, I love that too. Because it's like, the like equating, like, flying to like fly with your body. It's like getting in an airplane of like walking someplace versus getting in a car of like, No, I don't want to fly there. I'm just gonna get in a plane. Like, you know, like, I took the train here, but like, I'm just gonna get a car home. Like I don't feel like it.

Michele Baci:

Yeah. Experience.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Or like drunk flying. Imagine that. Like you got like you go out for brunch? And then you're like, good. Okay, I'm just gonna pile on.

Michele Baci:

And then you got a DUI in the air. Like,

Unknown:

that'd be interesting. I also like how you like half assed chose telekinesis. You're like, nevermind, I don't want that power.

Melissa Lusk:

No, cuz I started thinking about like Magneto, because like, I need those cool powers. But first of all, it's so angry and I feel like his powers are connected to his anger in a lot of ways. And I'm like, not interested in that.

Michele Baci:

That's fair. Matilda also had a tough time so yeah, like a rough life.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, plus, like, I don't have really good depth perception. So I feel like I would things would end up where I did not mean for them to be often

Michele Baci:

my in my fake here, but life too complicated.

Unknown:

Yeah. Nothing's my. I like it. I like it. Melissa. My final question is Do you have anything you want to vent about? any topic of your choice, go on a little mini rants about I've done so much ranting.

Melissa Lusk:

Today,

Michele Baci:

not in a ranty way I would say you've been like telling personal tales.

Melissa Lusk:

Thank you. I appreciate that. Um, the only thing I want to say is that in honor of my visibility week, I support anyone who's listening who is out or out to themselves or figuring out that maybe that's where they want to be and it's so special and it feels so good. And the internet is full of people that are ready to give you big internet hugs and and like you can DM me like my first and last name are going to be on this podcast. Like I just like who like if you're out there. I'm so proud of you. And I'm so excited for you because it feels really really good.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, that's so awesome to say like, Hey, I'm an advocate. I'm I'm doing the whole thing. Like, talk to me if you want.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, I mean, like, like, once again, I have very little life experience. But like, Listen, I'll be so happy for you. So many emojis.

Michele Baci:

That's great to be like an alley, alley ally living life and I'm sure people will find that very helpful.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, and I mean it. I know that that can come off as insincere sometimes, but I do want to hear from you.

Michele Baci:

That's so cool. definitely reach out to Melissa. Tell us where to find you if you want to promote your music.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah. Okay, so you can find me on Twitter. I'm at Melissa. J. That's for Jennifer. That's my middle name. Lusk. l us K. That's where I am on Twitter. That's probably the easiest place to find me. I'm I'm in the Banting gross is monthly. And we have some music that's out. It's pretty fun. Um, yeah. No, which we can just read. Just Just find me on Twitter and then we'll go from there.

Michele Baci:

Okay. And it's teen girl scientists monthly. That's the band name. That's right. I like that.

Unknown:

Yeah, no, my partner freaked out a long time ago. We're old now though. That band's been around since 2010. Is your partner in the band with you? Yeah, yeah, it's their band. They Oh, that's cool. Like really? cohabitating working together it's a lot admirable.

Michele Baci:

I can I can only imagine i'd You know, I'm living with my partner. And that is a lot. So also being in the band Can't I don't think we could do that.

Melissa Lusk:

You know, you're doing it. You do? You're doing it. So congratulations on cohabitating. Thank you.

Michele Baci:

It's been it's been a trial and error, but we're kind of getting it down at this point. Nice. Nice. always so nice to meet you. Yeah. Likewise, Melissa, thank you so much, and have a great rest of your evening.

Melissa Lusk:

Yeah, you too. Thank you. Thanks so much for listening to Therapy Roulette. I will be back with a new episode in two Thursdays. But before you turn off your phone or switch around to another episode of something, could you leave me review on Apple podcasts it would mean a lot. If you don't mess with Apple. Just tell a friend about the podcast and that's your way of spreading the word and it really helps this podcast to grow. Just drop a DM or snap a tick tock or whatever the kids do these days just tell us a lot about Therapy Roulette because it's it's good and people need to know if you want to support us and donate to our caffeine budget and production costs. You can drop a few bucks on coffee.com it's K-O dash F-I dot com slash Therapy Roulette. If you don't know how to spell that still, it's in the show notes. So just click to the Episode Notes and the link is there to support us. A few bucks goes a long way and I appreciate it and my brain will get all jittery and then I'll you know want to talk to people and I'm an introvert. So that's like really good for me. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you again in two Thursdays

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