Therapy Roulette

Navigating the Outer Monologue, Creativity, and Parenthood w/ Skyler Glordano

October 29, 2021 Michele Baci / Skyler Glordano Season 1 Episode 140
Therapy Roulette
Navigating the Outer Monologue, Creativity, and Parenthood w/ Skyler Glordano
Show Notes Transcript

Michele (@michelebaci) feels threatened by her dermatologist, but in a good way. This week’s guest is Skyler Glordano, host of the space opera drama Omega Star 7. Skyler shares how his ADHD ties into his creative projects, including podcasting, writing, and music. They discuss the strange joy of starting a podcast in 2020. Skyler shares his experience with Twitch streaming, the pressures of being in a band, manic depression, coming off of medication, being diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and parenting as an adult. He also drops knowledge on how to exit a comedy open mic smoothly, even when you’re mid-panic attack.
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Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma disguised as comedy / Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent / If you dont have problems, then youre likely repressing sh*t and you should find a therapist / (Whos not me)

Michele Baci:

Hey, rouletters. Welcome back. My name is Michele Baci, and this is therapy roulette consent to vent. It's a new week. It's a new weekend, it's almost Halloween. And I'm excited for it. We actually decorated our house today, Thursday, the 28th. We have decorated for Halloween and just in the nick of time, Joseph strung up some lights and programmed them to flash, purple and orange. And he 3d printed a little miniature ghost, a bunch of little ghosts to put on the lights. So it's a little spooky. And a little like, party. Bernie man style. Fun lights everywhere around our exterior of the home. And it's so nice to have some festivities. And honestly, just light in general is it's feeling good to have a little bit of light going on in the house. Better late than never right? I hope we get trick or treaters. I heard people don't really do that anymore. Because the world can be a terrible, her horrifying, very scary place. So maybe parents aren't letting their kids go trick or treating like they used to when I was young. But here's hoping if we flash, purple and orange lights, and you know, we dress up and just like linger by the door all day. Maybe some kids will kabane eat all this candy I bought. I hope so. So just a little bit of light news. Because my week has been depressing as is the pattern. The news feed on social media has been very depressing. A lot of death going on, makes me grateful that I'm alive and actively trying my best to live my best life. Although it's really hard. And this is definitely not my best life. I mean, mostly I'm going through the motions and running errands, doing dishes. This is not my best life. But I'm grateful to be alive. And to hopefully lighten your day a little bit. I will tell you the latest in my medical news, I went to the dermatologist. Thank you. It's been a year had to go. And I've had this like skin condition flaring up all over my face since about March 2020. And it hasn't gone away. So I wanted to go the dermatologist just to do like an annual checkup. But I was telling her like, Hey, I think I have some kind of rosacea going on on my face as wearing my mask, as I said this and she's like, Oh, you need on your forehead. And I was like, now it's not on my forehead, it's on my nose, cheeks and upper lip area. It's like in a tea on my face where I wear the mask. But I guess it's also on my forehead just less so. So anyway, she asked me what my routine is for my skincare. And I said, Well, it's pretty basic. I wake up in the morning and like, slap baby shampoo on my face and rinse it off. And that's pretty much been my routine, all pandemic because I don't really go out. I'm working from home. I go from like the sink, washing my face to my desk. And that's my commute, which I'm grateful for. But I don't put on moisturizer. I don't put on sunscreen, like I used to when I would drive an hour to work. So she wrote me a little regime and she said this is what you have to start doing eju cleanser, serum, moisturizer, sunscreen, and she seemed a little threatening when she was like you have to wear sunscreen every day, regardless of if I go outside or not. And I don't know if she's targeting me because I'm very light skinned. But I do think she's right. I mean, she's a dermatologist. She knows you know, she's professionally trained. But she motioned to her open office window and she's like, see this light coming in? If I'm in this light for 15 seconds, 15 seconds. I want to be wearing sunscreen. And so I mean, I get it because where I live now in Long Beach. It's like the heat. It's like a hot hot sun wherever we are in SoCal. So what I do go outside like for breeding moments of the day, the sun bears down on me pretty hard. And I do have my windows open. And I do sit in front of a computer all day. So that's blue light snow. I'm wearing sunscreen as I spend my day indoors and you can't convince me that it's any more mad than what I was doing before, which was doing almost nothing for my skin. So, at age 30, maybe I'm taking care of myself. Stay tuned, we'll find out. I hope you wash your face and moisturize because if you don't moisturize you're kinda like kicking yourself in the but it's it's good to moisturize and worth some sunscreen to just do it. You don't want to get skin cancer. Okay, this week's guest, He is a fellow podcaster he hosts a audio drama called omega star seven. And in the episode we get into talking about his brief flirtation, I guess with stand up comedy, he says like he tries it sometimes he doesn't love it. And you know, I get it. We talk about that and we talk about his ADHD and being a parent and just you know, get through the COVID as best we can this this pandemic time. I would like to welcome to the podcast, Skyler Glordano

Theme Song:

guest interview / a friend for you / strangers whose issues are relatable / guest interview / They're the voice that's new / this person has problems and they don't mind discussing it, but they still need a therapist / (Whos not me)

Michele Baci:

Welcome back to therapy roulette. I'm here with style. Skyler. Skyler Giordano. He is a podcaster creator, producer of omega star seven. It's a space opera drama. Check it out. And he's also a musician. Skylar, welcome to the podcast,

Skyler Glordano:

Happy to be here

Michele Baci:

we are. We're getting over the fact that I forgot to record the first 20 minutes and now we're gonna jump back in.

Skyler Glordano:

Okay, we can do this one better.

Michele Baci:

I know it. Yeah. Speaking of like, why your brain needs sleep and your body needs rest. This is why

Skyler Glordano:

exactly right. Please, please take time for yourself. Because you need it.

Michele Baci:

I'm so all over the place. Like I swear, I'm almost a year into therapy roulette. I'm like, I have a system. I know everything. Clearly, you can never stop learning.

Skyler Glordano:

There's always something that comes up and you're like, how do I fix this? How do I do this? And you have, I've learned more in podcasting that I have, like, a lot of my friends went to school for this and I'm like, why don't you just start a podcast and learn everything that way. Every day is a crash course in something. I mean, I

Michele Baci:

I spend learning curve I

Skyler Glordano:

when I do the podcast and mega star seven I do so you see the synthesizers behind me and I do a lot of the music before the show. Because I want to like fee I like I like to build this the the narrative around like the feel of the music. And it's like a rock opera kind of thing. And I actually and sometimes I'll play to what's like I'll listen back and I'll play with it. And today I just had to sit there and because I had to go out and get a new interface because the one I have now doesn't work with PC only works on my Mac. So I had to like play. Oh, yeah, both PC and Mac. Yeah, my well I use my to record I record in the basement, because it's what it's meant. And there's soundproofing everywhere so it sounds way better. I mean, these dynamic mics that I use our a lot of the You Can it cuts out most room noise but uh, I like even it's even quieter down there. And down there. I use my wife's Mac for line just I just get the the audio and I send it over to my PC to work on. Because I spent a lot of money on this PC and I have to feel like I wasted money.

Michele Baci:

I'm kind of jealous. You have a basement? They don't have basements in California.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, when I was in San Francisco, I noticed that it's I mean, because of the you know, flooding, storms and stuff. I mean, I hate my basement though, because it floods all the time. And about, it's gross. And I had the cat I have cats and that's what our litter boxes are and just smell. And it's not furnished either. It's like, you know, it's not finished whatsoever. It's all slate walls. So if it's storming really bad out there, though, like it'll be like waterfalls coming out of the wall. When you're down there. You can hear it. It's it's basements have their own issues, unfortunately.

Michele Baci:

Does this motivate you to record all these environment factors?

Skyler Glordano:

Yes. It makes me want to get out of it as quickly as possible. So yeah, that's something I'm down there. And I'm like, let's just, let's get it over with and we can go upstairs and drink. So.

Michele Baci:

Yeah. So we were talking about your ADHD Yes, and your motivation for sleep. omega star sevens. You want to tell us how those two connects your ADHD podcast? Yes.

Skyler Glordano:

So I live my life like a Venn diagram. And I find everything I like to do or in or am good at. Because not all those things don't always overlap. And I, when I first did omega star seven, I last year, I wanted to do like an audio drama. That was also an actual play, you know, tabletop game. And I realized that I didn't I like the role playing factors of tabletop games, because you know, you're like, you're improving and I didn't like the actual like running the game while also being recorded. Because if you listen back to these old episodes, they're just me. Just like what I'm doing right now. I'm just can't get what I want to say out and

Michele Baci:

like, surely episodes, yeah, like

Skyler Glordano:

the first a, I mean, it gets a lot better, because we just kind of like said, you know, we got four hours, let's just take it slow. Yeah, we did. There's a whole effect and do on the behind the scenes of actual play games. But I realized that I like telling a story. And I always have been. And so going back to where, like how the two affect each other is living with ADHD. As I said, I said before, we didn't realize we were recording. It's not medically accurate. But I think apt to say that, at least in my experience, ADHD is like the perception of schizophrenia. You hear voices, but instead of it being random voices, it's your voices just talking to yourself, and you can't get to shut up. Yeah. And I like this assumption. I've never heard I think it makes sense. I mean, like, I think like, ADHD is like a blanket, it has a little bit of everything, like, a lot of my friends are on the spectrum. And I can see a lot of similarities between like, you know, they I always say issues, because I think everything is also I think a lot of things are also positive. But I think a lot of what they deal with, I also deal with or like schizophrenia, I deal with like these loud voices, you can't focus on anything, but the voices, and I get that and I sound the same, obviously. But, you know, I feel like ADHD has a little bit of everything, which is why it's like one of the most misdiagnosed of all the I think it's one of the most misdiagnosed because I you know, growing up every kid had ADHD, or add or whatever. And so they just threw pills at kids. You know, like, when we were kids, they would just throw pills, right? Be like, how about Zoloft? How about Adderall? How about Concerta and all this stuff. And they just, it really messed up an entire generation of kids. Yeah. I don't wanna get too depressing here. But Edie? So I have a lot of passions. And a lot of the passions are like music, and telling stories and hanging out with my friends. And just kind of like making it like improving and playing playing games and watching movies. So I was like, Where do all of these things meet? At first, I thought well do an actual play podcast. And then I realized I didn't. I didn't like the editing down three hours of audio to an hour. So when

Michele Baci:

you started, it was scripted.

Skyler Glordano:

It was not scripted. It was a it was just like it is now except there's no gameplay elements. Like there's no role for this role for that. Now. It's just, it's just full story now. And now it's like, I think it moves a lot easier recordings a lot easier, because we just kind of sit because it's improv. We don't script it. We script a few little things. But now it's like, we sit down in the room. And I, you know, I'll say okay, this scene right here, this is what's going to happen. I'll have like scene notes. And then we'll just say let's him let's just improv it. And I actually got that from I don't know if you're familiar with the the Thor Ragnarok that movie from the Marvel. No,

Michele Baci:

I'm actually really bad at Marvel. So

Skyler Glordano:

that's okay. And because it's, it's really bad. It's

Michele Baci:

probably the only person listening who doesn't know what you're talking about.

Skyler Glordano:

I listen, like I I'm, I'm in and out of love of Marvel all the time. Like some of its really good. Some of its really like, yeah, like, it's all it's all. It's all watchable. But it's not all great for Ragnarok. Particular Taika Waititi is the director of that movie and take a TT did What We Do In The Shadows and JoJo rabbits. Oh, yeah. A lot of these like, dark comedy movies.

Michele Baci:

Jojo Rabbit was so good.

Skyler Glordano:

I love that movie. I saw it in theater. I just I was like, I want to see this. Yeah, it's like it's like Inglorious Basterds without the violence. I like that. Like, you know, has the it's, I don't know, but

Michele Baci:

how do you find sympathy for Nazi children? Jojo rabbit.

Skyler Glordano:

Exactly. Well, you gotta realize like those kids have, they didn't they didn't know I was going, you know. And being a parent myself. I you know, I get like, you know, if your parents are Nazis, and it's the one person you look up to as your parents. So when you're like three or four years old, or five or six You only look up to one person. So if your parents are, you know, not evil as good as you might be to like, and or you can be like the opposite. It's it's a crapshoot with kids. But Uh huh.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, you either, like idolize that parent for a long time, or you want to be the total opposite 550

Skyler Glordano:

your life. But I that meant that if your wife was shoujo rabbit, it was some hard parts to watch. But I think it's a it's a very, it's a very good movie, but Tyco ytt. When they did Thor Ragnarok, what they did was, what he did was, he wrote this the narrative. And then ever a lot of the scenes were improvised. I watched the behind the scenes, and they improvised a lot of that movie, to make it seem like it was like, more grounded and like relatable. And you can really feel it when you watch the movie that they're always having a good time. And I just in my podcasts, I try to echo that. And that's kind of like goes back to like, why I do it is because like, at the end of the day, it's fun to do. And if, when I when I record it, or when I edit it, I'm laughing the whole time. So the bits and the gags we're doing and like, if it wasn't fun to do, I wouldn't do it. That's kind of my thing. So like, yeah, it can be hard to do, but not all. Not all. Not all hard. Things are bad.

Michele Baci:

Yeah. I mean, there's some rewards. You're like digging out of all the hard work. Exactly. And you were accomplishing you were telling me and I don't want to make you retell the whole story. But you were telling me you started omega star seven in 2020. Yes. And cool to look back at like, Oh, look at what I did in 2020.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, like toy you know, we don't have to get into COVID too much. But can we did last

Michele Baci:

COVID still out there. We're not gonna get into it.

Skyler Glordano:

Wear your mask if you need to get vaccinated if you can, but uh yeah, looking back and 2020 It's like I did everything I could not to think about 2020 I was out of work for two months. I you know, and they call me back. Honestly, I wish I worked harder. During the times I was off work. I wish I would have went way harder because like right now on the podcast on on on Twitch streaming podcast, because the podcast that happened after I went back to work, I wish I had the concept for omega star seven. But it couldn't have been done then because of the fact that we have to do it in person. And we I didn't see anyone for like two months. So like, Yeah, except for my family. And they're still figuring that out. So like, I'm glad it happened when it did but um, cuz you're gonna we tried to do it online and it did not did not fly. It was not working.

Michele Baci:

So is that just because of the improv element you think?

Skyler Glordano:

The improv element like I think like, I hear a lot. And this is this might be a personal thing. But you know, I might go out I might go on record to say that. You can always I think there's a higher quality to improv done in person versus over a zoom call. And that could be Oh, yeah. Could like his like when you listen to like these, like, tabletop, like tabletop podcasts. What you hear is like this, those like, little bits of like, cut out, like, oh, this person so like this, I said something to you. And then there's like a space. And that throws off the comedic timing. There's a lag. Yeah, like, you know, cuz they say like three dry it's a dry swallow or three seconds. Yeah, I mean, for for a joke for a punch line. That's not always true. But uh, that's like the That's it. That's a good run. I'm editing my podcast. I'm moving dialogue around, I'll sit there and count to three. Just to get the timing of the jokes. Right. But uh, okay. But yeah, I mean, like, I thank you, like, it couldn't have been done during the beginning of COVID. And when it opened back up, you know, we were all very safe about as we could be, and we, you know, we can't I said, like, listen, they say, we could have six people or less in the house in a small environment. So I said, like, you know, me and for friends. That's it in my basement. We wear masks when we're, when we're around the table. We all wear masks. We have microphones, but when you're up walking around, where your masks are, we go outside, and we stand apart. We did we did we did, we did the best we could. And it's

Michele Baci:

like being conscious of it and try we have you know, kind of lay like house rules down.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah. And if there was that if anyone had any symptoms of any kind, it wasn't just fever. If you have a cough, don't let's just call it for the weekend, because we weren't like we have to record let's just get a bunch of episodes together. And then when it's done, we'll put it out. Mm hmm. So, and then things started lifting up in, you know, early 20, late 2020. And then it all kind of fell apart the podcast cuz I had I had a second kid. Not me personally, my wife but uh, you were involved. I was I was involved. But uh, so yeah, I mean, I was not going because like, I felt like 2020 And I'm not going to go off and be like one of those weird people who said it's a good thing, because it was not a good thing, but uh, but like to take her out of it. came out of it. Yeah, you're on credit for it. Yeah. I think a lot of good stuff came out in 2020 that I think a lot of us looking back podcasts got started, passions got found, like that stuff that might have never happened, like you saw like an entire increase in podcasting.

Michele Baci:

And I have started a podcast, probably not without the pandemic need, you

Skyler Glordano:

need a reason to do something. And for me, I Twitch streamed for i i Twitch stream to the Mass Effect trilogy in its entirety, which is about 120 hours of gameplay, if you do everything over all three games, and that ended around May, so all of April, I did that game. And then it ended. So four hours a night, 30 days, seven days a week.

Michele Baci:

And that's that's what you were saying you want to do more of?

Skyler Glordano:

Well, I learned that I liked talking. I liked because I've I've been a musician. So I've always been a performer. But I found that I could. I liked the broadcasting elements of Twitch I liked. I liked that you were putting on a show. And I liked it to improv. Like you got to keep people interested. So you learn to talk to yourself, you learn to do things that you're you learn from like improv one on one or comedy one to one you learn. You have to have an internal dialogue just to you have to bounce stuff off yourself and you learn it. And I think like, if it wasn't for those first two months, I wouldn't have done anything like I'm doing now I would have kept trying to be a musician. And I was up until about a few I still am obviously but I was a performing musician with all your instruments behind you. Yeah, like I was a performing musician. Up until like, two months ago. And then like, the band like I love this band. Yeah. But uh, they they were like, we don't really so I was a harsh vocalist for the band. I do a lot of harsh vocals, screaming and whatnot. Metal like metal. So I was in I was in two bands. I've been a lot of bands, but I was in to like know it at least relatively noteworthy for me. Like I would say I was in a band called Persona gray. That was in 2017. Up until like, 2019. We were like synth wave and metal core. And we were like a just a fun mixture. And that bands, that band kind of fell apart because it was impossible to play that stuff live.

Michele Baci:

I like the name persona gray. It's

Skyler Glordano:

cool. Yeah, our guitarist was like, How about persona gray. And we're like, I all we all we were all like, we're into it. Yeah. And I joined a band called bottom shelf. And that's the band we're talking about is it was a six piece band. And they just wanted me to scream. And I'd sit I sat I was in the car with a guitarist, were my best friends. And I was like, because there was a singer. Her name is Lexi. And she's phenomenal at singing. And I was like, I'm just going to be in this band until you guys don't need me anymore because you don't need me. And sure enough, about like, eight months into and maybe six months into doing I joined the band October and around June July they call I got a call and they were like, Yeah, I think like we like because I was doing sense for them to I write synthesizers for the music but like, they're like, you know, they're like, we don't we don't really want a screamer. Like we want Lexi to scream. And I was like, I mean, she can and I was like you should like, like, there's no reason to hold on to it. Like I didn't like, they made it in the conversation. They were like, try real hard to make it like it's not personal. Like, I never took it that way. Like yeah, just like you guys have a vision. Like, yeah, I'm like, like, I need you guys to get the confidence. I was on a couple songs. And that was good enough for me. I mean, like, I'm happy that they're continuing on. Like, I'm happy. They they, they kind of found direction because like you want to see your friends succeed. And, and I knew, like I remember there was right after I got that call. I sat down and I looked at my Discord. And I said I have I have a group chat with all these ideas for omega star seven. With people I had been having a conversation with the other two actors about when to start. And I sat down looked at my Discord. And because I was sitting right here, right here, having this conversation I look over, I just say, alright, let's next weekend, and then that was it. I just, I said I'm done with the music because I'm done performing music. I mean, at least in a band setting like I'm okay. Like if we were to do like the music of omega star seven live or like someone need me to fill in, I'd love to do that kind of stuff. But like being in a band and nightmare, or someone listening who wants to be in a band, don't do it. Just don't really like it's if you're hanging out with your friends and jamming and you're like, let's go play. Let's go play a show. Let's go play. That's fine. But like when you sit down and try to make a band, you will lose all of your friends. Like your you will have three best friends in the band. And by the end of it, they will never want to talk to each other again. Like it's too much like work it's pressure and like you it's So it's so it's so hard to deal with that kind of stuff like, and it's hard. I mean, it's like it but it's it's like podcasting, too. But I find podcasting rewarding because I don't have to leave my house to do

Michele Baci:

it. Yeah. And you can kind of set your own schedule and yeah, I

Skyler Glordano:

mean, like you asked me in our in our in our test run. Yeah. You asked me like, how do I balance everything and I say I don't, it's a lot easier to balance or like, you know, have pretend a bit to balance. So say ice cream truck

Michele Baci:

that is my neighborhood ice cream truck they Blau my God. It's really good ice cream. I can see why they

Skyler Glordano:

Oh my god. I was like, I hear ice good. I was probably back in Australia. But ya know, like being in a band and having a family. Like having a band and having a family and not being an established band. You almost have to look at like, it's a hobby, because if you don't, you're being a bad parent. I mean, like, honestly, you have to prioritize it cost so much money to be in a band like, like, I can just name off top my head if you want to get a merch. Rondon is like $500 for 100 shirts of decent quality and like, recording persona Gray's album ran us like three to five grand that was five songs for three to $5,000 Hmm. And like I you know, this is right before I had kids. So I lucked out. But like, they asked me if I had my like, son, I had my son very shortly after I was like, guys, like no way. I'm like giving you $900 When I just had a baby, you know? What podcasting? It's the only thing you're investing in is your time. Mm hmm. You know, because like, and you could get better gear and I do have better gear than I did when I started but like easiest to get the equipment. Yeah, I mean, like the equipment's the hardest part. But like, I hear I hear people asking all the time in the audio drama forums, how do I start? How do I start? I'm like, you just start. Yeah, yeah, you just start like, and I was freaking out.

Michele Baci:

By far the hardest part. Yeah, and

Skyler Glordano:

exactly. So like the first I feel the weeks, the days leading up to the first episode recording of a megastar seven the new season. I went through eight different ways that how we can record it. How about we do like an Eric Andre, in space talk show, or like, and then we went to like, what if we did like this or like that. And then one of my friends was like, Dude, this is ADHD talking me just like, what are we doing this way? That way, this way? And my friend was like, Dude, I think it was Joe. He's like, how can we just stick to the first idea and see how it goes? And I was like, I was like, You're right. And then I still had those thoughts. But then the first day recorded and all fell into place and podcast, you know, that's, that's for everybody. Like, how do I do it? Just do it. Yeah, just, I mean, I, a friend of mine at work was like, you know, someone once said, You always throw away the first chapter of your book, because you learn that all the stuff you feel like you need to say doesn't need to be said. And it's the same with podcasting if you just do an episode. And if it comes out good use it. If it doesn't, at least you did it, you know, I mean, and then you learn how to do it. Yeah. Like, I feel like it's always good to have a test run.

Michele Baci:

Like I think with my podcast, I'm proud of everything. I think it's all been Yeah, the best it could be along the way. It's a good concept to like, definitely. Therapy. Thank you. It's definitely improved over time. Just like audio quality wise, like, my own. My own like production schedule has improved. Except for today. Without recording mishap. It's usually pretty smooth.

Skyler Glordano:

No, that's, that's again, like I was I'm glad I get to be the one that learn a little bit about Yeah.

Michele Baci:

easygoing about it. But that's the thing. It's like, you start you have to get out of your own head and start the project. You want to start?

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, no, and yeah, it that's you said it perfectly. I had there's you just have to do it. Like there's usually like you psych yourself out. You never do stuff like that's I've lived my entire life like that, like everyone's like, and yeah, like it's, it's the same with music like we are persona grassfire we have five so it's eight songs out plus a cover of trippy red, which is fun. But we have five others are three other songs from a five song EP, they're just sitting there. And now it's been too too long. We're like, I'm not we're not putting those out. And but we just like yourselves out about the about the why we still might but uh, we psych ourselves out about the production of it. We're like, it doesn't sound perfect. I'm like, Who gives a shit? I'm like, you could like they're like, everyone gets stuck on this one. Like, like, I have this big idea. And I'm like,

Michele Baci:

so I wonder how you manage this with ADHD because my boyfriend is ADHD. He's very creative, but it seems like for all of the ideas, he talks about only a few of them transpire. So like, how do you tell yourself this is the idea I'm going to make a tangible thing.

Skyler Glordano:

I'm trying to think back so like there was definitely a time when I would overthink Everything in it wouldn't go out. So like, oh, I want to do this. And if I just get this, if I just get this and this and this, it'll be perfect. And then I wouldn't do it. I'm just trying to there's there was a time a camera when it was,

Michele Baci:

well, even with your example of the eight different ways to record Omega seven, it's like you could get hung up on like, which of the eight different ways is the right way to do it? Until your friend was like, let's just do one?

Skyler Glordano:

I think that's the answer. You need someone else that you trust to tell you what to do. I think you need someone to be like, dude, like, you need someone who's honest. Like, if if I build something, and my friends, like, that looks horrible. Okay, I'll believe you know, I'm not saying be mean to your friends, I'm saying Be honest with your friends. You know, be nicely honest with your friends. But um, but if I if I do something, and someone's like, that's a good idea. You just have to trust them. You got to get out of your own head. And

Michele Baci:

any should take that a suggestion that compliment when you can, because it doesn't go very frequently.

Skyler Glordano:

I mean, yeah, I mean, it's, it's so like, dealing with ADHD is very hard. And I feel like I'm not sure if it was like a growing up thing, or was like some kind of miraculous moment where things just kind of locked into place. About how because I, ever since this, like this proverbial moment that I'm talking about that. I cannot recall what it was. Like, that's mysterious like that. But um, I just made one about my wife. I don't know. I just realized that like, it doesn't matter. Women are very influential. He or she has definitely pushed me to do things better than anyone else. I've been around friends family, there's just like, there's just a moment. Like, you kind of have to just do it. Like, I feel like I'm just talking in circles, but it's ADHD.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, but it's like, what what's your first step? Go do that first step.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah. Like, like, and like I said, podcasting. You just have to record. Mm hmm. You might throw it away. You might keep it you might. But like, I think here's what it is.

Michele Baci:

I think so telling telling a few people you record it, then they can ask you later. Hey, when does it come out?

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, I mean, I think when it comes to specifically podcasting, I'll say the one thing that has helped, helped me Ah, listening back to yourself. That's the hardest thing that a podcaster has to do. Because you like you, it's like, it opens your eyes. Because it's like a, it's a blueprint of you as a person. And while you have to like, you're like, you see yourself you see the mannerisms you see, like, you learn a lot about yourself through podcasting. And I saw like a Twitter post a Twitter question. Yeah. All these all these podcasting platforms, like just post random questions as the algorithm and what that's all about, I find it funny. But uh, they're all one was like, you know, do you listen yourself back? And everyone's like, No, I hate how I sound and I'm like, you know, don't don't you need that self awareness to like, be a better I think you need self awareness to be a better person

Michele Baci:

I share. Yeah, I

Skyler Glordano:

think you need to understand because like, we all know these nice people. But are they really nice? My in laws are great people, but holy shit. Do they say and do some, like, not horrible things, but like stuff that you'd be like, What the hell like?

Michele Baci:

Yeah. He's not as self aware as us. Yeah,

Skyler Glordano:

I think like, you have to look yourself in the mirror and be like, so like, what do I need to fix about myself? Because, like, I don't know, everyone's like, You people don't change, people don't change. And it's like, and this is ADHD is like, you know, looking at me with ADHD is like a 10 year old versus a 28 year old like I am now. You know, it's like, I used to not like eating a certain food but now I like I used to hate hard boiled eggs. And now I love my favorite food in the world. And that's a change right there. I mean, you just kind of to hold on to what you're doing solely ADHD. Like, I don't take medication. And not at all. Not at all. I did for a very long time.

Michele Baci:

I didn't know that was possible to to have ADHD is horrible. It might impair on your like productivity, right without medication.

Skyler Glordano:

My productivity was never a problem. It was my creativity. Like I was a well not No, I That's it. There were so I was first on Adderall. That one was a That one hurt my productivity.

Michele Baci:

Adderall was always like the popular thing. Yeah,

Skyler Glordano:

like, by the end of it Yes. Adderall like that was like they're like well, this is a new drug Adderall try this and I was just like, all the time. Some people were like, you could focus better but like you just have I had no like, I'm to go do stuff and then they're like, put me on some like I have made depression as well. Right. And they put me on. i It's been so long here but what they were I know what I ended up I know what my last dosage was, but ever before like, I know, I was on Adderall for a while and they just kept like taking Concerta Going up and down with it and Zoloft and up and down with it and antidepressant. Concerta is the the and is the focusing medicine. Okay. And they gave me by the end of it. I was 1617 years old. I was taking 72 milligrams of Concerta and 200 milligrams of Zoloft. Oh

Michele Baci:

my god, this just I mean, I have not a lot of personal experience with this, but that seems like a high dosage.

Skyler Glordano:

It was so high that I remember the therapist, there's not the psychiatrist being like, like they get they had like the teeth. I was like this. He's like, let's try this. And I was like, What am I gonna do? Like I felt I felt like a guinea pig. And I was like, and, again, less like

Michele Baci:

hydrous is gritty and dairy. It's like, is this a good sign?

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, like it was. I remember like, just that really stuck with me. This is the now that was I was on that for a couple years. I remember it was early or late middle school, early high school, and I went I went on that and like, I 17 I think 17 My senior year, I said, I'm done. I'm just I stopped taking No, I'm just done. And I like in this experience, because the next three years of my life, I didn't know who I was. Because I never because I was very religious about taking my medication. I thought it made me a better person. I thought it made me focus better. I thought he would like me more.

Michele Baci:

And well last year prescribed so you're like, This is what I'm supposed to do. Right?

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, it felt like it was it was a normal and natural thing that people have to go through. So and I'll know like maybe if I had less Zoloft and Concerta I knew who I going off. I bet I knew who I was better. But I was on so much. It was like I was a different person.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, like, of course because it's changing your your brain.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, like, and for years, I had to like I had to like find who I was like it was it was a night it was like a I always say like, end of high school to what I met my wife was a constant nightmare.

Michele Baci:

Was this on? Both ADHD and answer depressed?

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah. Cuz like i The pression thing is like, I'm not sad very often. I mean, I get like, I get the mood swings the anger sometimes. But mostly, it's like, I have this. Like laziness. Like I just like, I wouldn't call it laziness, like that's what people view it as. But it's more like, like sloth like behavior. Like, it feels like you're catatonic but like your brain is going 1000 miles an hour. So you want to move. But your body's not letting you do stuff. And I still deal with that. Every day I get up, I get up for work every day. 7am I'm just like, I just get my phone out. I scroll my phone until I feel like I feel like a lot of people deal with that. But like I would rather have I'd rather deal with that every day for half an hour than like live like how I had to live. And again, a lot of this happened when I was a kid. And I think the mental illness is still very, very misunderstood. On all fronts, ADHD, autism, everything is totally misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and like mistreated all the time. And a lot of people die from it. Because you know, people find that it's hard to live life with mental illness.

Michele Baci:

Because it's not, it's not as understood as it should be. It's not as like, it's not that easy to find the solutions you're looking for. It should be easier. But in America, we don't have time.

Skyler Glordano:

When I was a, I went to see a play with my Oh, yeah, we have a playhouse in Lancaster. And it's the Fulton Opera House. And we went and saw Beauty and the Beast, right and I always have is the play was over. And everyone's stood up. I remember feeling super overwhelmed, and that it doesn't everything felt very loud. At that very moment, I just kind of had a panic attack. And my wife understood this. And she kind of gave me my space. I just have to like, let's just leave, get in the car, take a deep breath. It'll be over my mother in law, this and again, I don't want to I don't want to like make my my in laws feel bad. They're good people, but I'm sure I don't understand mental illness and going back to like, not like misunderstanding. She comes up to me, puts her hands on my face, and just says Just relax. And I'm like, What do you think I'm trying to do right now? And like, I think ever the people who are in control of the world right now are people like that. And they just they mental illness has always been a thing and it's some people like you know, people who are control this thing just get over it. We did I'm like no, you didn't look at like look at your like, look at your kids. Like I look I look at my parents and like their kids like because you know I don't count as my parents kids like, I am technically their kid. But I was raised by my grandparents. So really, my mother and my father are like my siblings. Because like, I know it's a weird a weird dichotomy to have. But like, I call a mom and dad, but like, the conversations we have are not the kind of conversations you have with your parents.

Michele Baci:

And are they younger, or just because they didn't? My my,

Skyler Glordano:

my parents who are have been divorced since I was a year old are in their mid 40s. Okay, I'm almost I'm almost 30 Mm hmm. So, I was raised on my grandparents who have always treated like Mike, like my parents. And so, yeah, I mean, it's just I think I look at how they parent their kids now. And like, my dad does a better job than my mom. Why if I had if I had to, if I had if I had to pick who's doing a better

Michele Baci:

job, everyone has their strengths, right.

Skyler Glordano:

But my grandparents were always very progressive people, as you know, as good as like, because they're not boomers, they were they were the generation before. Hi, when they're seven, they're they're almost 80. Now, they've always been progressive people. And so they were like, medication, we'll try it because this is what medication for this mental illness was big. So they, they, they they did everything they could to give me like the best Headstart that I could get. But like, that's because they wanted me to be normal. I don't, I don't, I don't fault. My grandparents. For this issue. I fault like society as a whole. That like, I don't know, I feel like there was a lot more of a colorful place. When people are treated the way they need to be treated. There's there are many mental illnesses out there that need medication, obviously, the you know, and there's even ADHD, some people need medication, but some people just need a better way to do things. You know, I was horrible in school, but I was smart. And then I burnt out because I wasn't challenged enough in the right ways. And I think like, it could take the same amount of effort and execution to like get kids with ADHD or, you know, autism, and, you know, get them to learn. There's better ways to like, teach them. And we don't do it until now. Like my kid, jet. He is four years old, and he is in school. He's in preschool. And we were talking, I was like, I we think we think you may have ADHD and

Michele Baci:

talking to the teacher or your wife.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, the teacher and she was like, the teacher was like, you know, we she, I wish I wish she said but she was she was like, I was like he can be hyperactive sometimes. No, she said, I was like, he can act a little cray. I don't use this word crazy. She's like we used to say I like to say hyper while she's like, we like to say hyperactive. Because we get it. Like, I don't know, I think at 28. I learned more through my own methods than I ever did as a kid. Because sitting in a classroom, looking at a book. I can't focus like I don't read books, I listen to audio, I listen to audiobooks, because I can't sit there and read, but I can listen. So I you know, like, How long until kids with ADHD? Just get an audio book on their phones? Because all kids have phones now. And the teachers give them an audio book of their lesson.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, I think it's, it's something that demands a lot of individual attention, which unfortunately, we can't really do with like the current school system.

Skyler Glordano:

I just have such a like, I know like, wife, shameless. Unitised. Yeah, my wife wants to do like a, like a half homeschool, half real school thing, because there's stuff from your stuff you need. I believe a lot of kids need that. That like, what you learn in school isn't what you learn. It's what you learn with other people, like, you know, dealing with other people is what you learned in school. And that's you can't teach that at home. I don't care what anyone says. It's a hard thing to deal with, unless you have like, five kids and they have to deal with each other. But I learned a lot about social interaction in school and I never could have learned at home.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, I think for me, school is much more about like, this is how the social worlds were Yes.

Skyler Glordano:

And there's no way to change it. Like you know, like, we can't like Well, that's not true. I think there's like a primordial level of like, social interaction, that's never gonna change. I'm not saying like your standard stuff that we all like, rally against today. I'm talking about like, oh, this person looks like that. And

Michele Baci:

so there's Yeah, like how to be embarrassed and they're like,

Skyler Glordano:

like, I think that's important and like I think we handle bullying improperly and not saying it should be allowed I'm just saying like, I think like, from what this is when I was a kid, I don't know how it's being handled anymore. So I don't want to speak you'll probably like learn through your kids. I will I will learn soon enough I'm sure cuz like he's been to school twice. Now two days. He was sick in the middle one. And he hasn't had any problems yet. So I guess we're gonna find out but again, he's in preschool though. You know, all they want to do is play. There's no social cliques in preschool.

Michele Baci:

I don't know. I remember being I think I was kind of a bully in preschool. I feel like it starts young.

Skyler Glordano:

It does start young I mean, like, there's definitely like, oh, this kids like taking Kranz and stuff, but like,

Michele Baci:

my cubby, there, there,

Skyler Glordano:

there is some I care of called them perfectly. So I'm not going to tell any stories, but like, I remember like some really bad bullying moments. I don't want to like Miss I don't want to like make it sound worse than it was. But when I was growing up, and I was like, man, what's wrong with these kids? Like, when I was a kid, I was like, but then like, I don't know, it's hard to say who's a bully? Now we're gonna get like a real philosophical. Like, what is being a bully as a being loud as it be? Is it hurting people? Like,

Michele Baci:

yeah, I think I think I was a meaner child. And then I got bullied and that I had a turnaround moment.

Skyler Glordano:

But were you meaner? Or were you just like more outspoken and no one knew how to direct that.

Michele Baci:

I was probably more aggressive. When I was really my

Skyler Glordano:

son's super aggressive and like, he's such a nice kid. Like, he's nice to other kids, but he will get up in someone's face. And I'm like, Whoa, dude. What you're doing seems mean. Like, I know, you're not trying to be me. But you're being mean. Yeah. I don't know. It's

Michele Baci:

because you're like I was bossy. Sometimes. I wanted to be the Yes, leader.

Skyler Glordano:

Well, I did, like I always wanted to be the leader to like, I think it goes back to like, why I do what I do. I always wanted to be taken seriously. Even if it's fun, like, Oh, he's funny. But like, he's taken seriously about his funniness. Like I want like, I'm like, prestige or something like, I want to feel higher on the social ladder. I was kind of a joke. Yeah, like, well, I felt like that was a big motivator for me. I'm not sure about how for you. But like, I know, I want to be a musician. Because people would like me more. Yeah, I mean, and like, Oh, this guy's cool. He's a musician. And like, I learned that none of that shit means anything. Because like, when you turn 2425, you're still playing in a band. And that bands, that bass not doing anything, and anything could be, you know, at least you're playing shows every couple of weeks, or you're, you know, you're doing something but I mean, like, you play in a band with your friends, and you think you've made it like those kind of people. And like, no one like, you're right back to not being taken seriously anymore. Like, it's, I don't know, I felt I found like, until I always wanted to be validated, but I couldn't be validated to like, validate myself. And that's a pretty recent discovery of myself was, yeah, validate myself.

Michele Baci:

You're so young, you're 28 I'm 30. You're like, oh,

Skyler Glordano:

so I'm so much younger, and

Michele Baci:

you're aeons ahead of like Ellie's like the family raising kids thing. So I think you're pretty mature for where you're at in life.

Skyler Glordano:

Having kids definitely helped, I think, I mean, I know that's like a that's a big cliche is like, oh, when you have kids, it'll all it'll all fall into place. But like, I mean, I'm still like, I mean, you never learned how messy your parents are until you're a parent. Mm hmm. And I mean, I think I'm doing a better job than my parents obviously.

Michele Baci:

You want to improve his

Skyler Glordano:

show? I think I'm doing better.

Michele Baci:

To To answer your question. I think I do comedy and podcasting because I you know, didn't get enough enough attention as a kid now. I'm like, This is my time. So

Skyler Glordano:

yeah, it's nice being on that microphone. The lights on you. I get that like I get whenever I do an open mic night I get like these. I still get like the like the pit in the stomach. Like there was one recently where I just told the host, I was like, take me off the night. I'm having like a panic attack because I was like, I didn't have any material prepared.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, you don't wanna go broadcast your panic attack

Skyler Glordano:

that I do. I walked away. I drove home. Oh, do you want you want to have ADHD? tell you right now that bad day. Oh, that isn't really a funny story. It's actually kind of sad, but like,

Michele Baci:

I don't see it. I

Skyler Glordano:

keep I keep babbling. I find it funny. Everyone else finds it depressing. But I will make it theirs. And he was a comedian named Ron Kane. And he's a really funny, really nice guy. And we had to have a conversation with him. But what I wouldn't have he seems very nice. And he was doing a stand up bit. Like I was supposed to go I told Audrey to take me off. Before I didn't do it right. As the my time was up. I said, Hey, just take me off tonight. And then he's up. And I'm like having this panic attack. So it's all outdoors. This is a this is in 2012, late, late 2020. And it's all outdoors. So it was kind of had a brick wall and everything was kind of cool. It reminds you the Seinfeld, but I got in my car. And it was during Ron Kane's staff spot and I was listening to him but I had my windows down. And I was waiting. I didn't turn my car on. It was hot. I just sat there until I heard people start clapping like it was over. Then I turned the car on and drove away polite because I thought if I know not pull, like you think it looks polite? But I did that because I was scared that he was gonna make a joke about me leaving during his set.

Michele Baci:

Oh, yeah, it's kind of a rude thing to do. I know what the open mics here you're supposed to say for the full hour.

Skyler Glordano:

And well, ours is like the one we go twos and Millersville check out if you're ever in power. Castlevania Millersville phantom power Monet CAMI knights but I will

Michele Baci:

go next time I'm in the state.

Skyler Glordano:

Um, ours is like from seven to nine. And we're hosting a third six. And I was like, Yeah, a few hours, a few weeks a few our commitment and it's not slow. Like there's no, there's no good time to leave because everyone's spot is five minutes. And then the turnovers about 30 seconds. Oh, wow. That's it. There's, there's no great emotions, like, it's, we know who's up next, the post comes up and says, How are you up and up next, that was really funny. Haha, this is what's happening next. And then that person comes up, and then that's it, then we're just on to the next person. And it goes by very quickly. And I don't like leaving though. But like, as a parent with two kids, and we're I'd be up at work at seven and I have a podcast, you know,

Michele Baci:

it's some other obligations,

Skyler Glordano:

but I was having like a panic attack and like ADHD works in a way that's like, I was like, I was like, you know, if you leave right now, he's gonna make fun of you. So just wait, just listen to the set and wait. So it's because like, if I if I if I status, why He said you're gonna be I'm like reliving this moment, I was sitting in my seat by myself. I had other friend comedians around me, but I had my own little table. And I was like, sitting there. I'm like, if I leave right now, it's gonna look weird. So I'll wait to the next guy. And then when he's walking up, I'll leave. And then so I'm hyper fixating on this, like, someone could have been talking to me and I wouldn't even notice. So I'm hyper fixating. And I just so person sets and I stand up while Ron canes walking up, and I walked to my car, I beelined to my car. I know, someone was like, see? And I was like, by Yeah. And I just got my car sat there, he starts talking. I'm like, Shit, I gotta wait now. Five minutes. It's like 98 degrees. And I have my windows down listening. And then he's like, Alright, guys, that's my time. Thanks. I turned my car and just leave as fast. I can.

Michele Baci:

Yeah. So that that's only because it is an outdoor mic, too. Yeah.

Skyler Glordano:

And, like, if it was indoor, it would have been like, so easy. Just be like, Alright, guys, I'm out of here. But like, my ADHD, like, I just couldn't get out of my own head. And I think that's like, the hardest part about ADHD is getting out of your own head. But once you can learn to do that, I think ADHD is like one of the most. I think having ADHD if I could change it, I wouldn't. It's the one mental illness I think that like, for me, personally, this isn't isn't for everybody. I couldn't live without it. I needed like, I need the ability to hyper fixate, and I need I love the fact that I have so many different passions that keep me always busy. And I like that. My life is such a mess. Sometimes, like I like I feel that comfort in the chaos. You know what I mean? Like I just, I like everything's falling. I like the pressure of like, needing to do something because it makes me feel young. Even at 28 Like, it makes me feel like I'm a kid. You are young. But even younger, as I'm saying, I feel like I feel like I'm in high school or like I need to pay for do and I need to like but like it just feels like I feel like I have direction. Yeah, when everything's falling apart. Yeah,

Michele Baci:

but and adrenaline coming through. Yeah, it's like,

Skyler Glordano:

like, you know, idle hands are the devil's work that that whole thing. Like, if I just sit there and do nothing, I feel like I just I wasted my life away. Like, I'll just watch TV. And it's not even good TV. Somebody is saying anything. It's just TV. And I respect people who can do that. But like, I like I can't even enjoy it though. Like I respect people and envy people who can enjoy mindless TV because I can't my mom's sitting there watching 90 Day fiance. I'm over at her house. And I'm like, What is this? And I like like it's not a few honestly that big adds on and I'm like what is going on? And like we're sitting there and I feel like this weird everything's melting it almost felt like like, like they're in they're all sitting in the couch. And like her Christmas tree Stella for some reason. And we're just watching it fiance. I have like a wine. I have like wine in spikes. I was I was put some kind of soda and an alcohol for some reason. I don't know why I'm sitting there. And it's like, I didn't know if it was 30 seconds or 20 minutes, but I just stood up and said I'm leaving. And yeah, I

Michele Baci:

did. Grab her. She sent you over to like hang out though it wasn't to watch Nivea fiance. No, no,

Skyler Glordano:

yeah, she cooks mom's a hairdresser just cuts my hair so but like I was hanging out because she's my mom and I love her but like I was like this all you do, and she's like, Yeah, just watch TV. I'm like, I want I want to kill myself being here and I know you should make jokes about that. But I really mentioned in that

Michele Baci:

I was where what you're saying I got

Skyler Glordano:

to make those kind of jokes. I mean it I was like I could never live like this. You know

Michele Baci:

what, Skyler I think it's warranted for 90 Day fiance because I got into that show during the pandemic. Yeah, I

Skyler Glordano:

think everyone did from right here.

Michele Baci:

It is obsessive. You really get into the people because they're fucking ridiculous. But then my boyfriend would come in and be like, Why are you watching this garbage? It makes me upset. It makes me triggered. I'm like you're right. Is is terrible and they they spin it out to the last 90 minutes and that's just unnecessary. So

Skyler Glordano:

I think reality TV has a lot of like positive outlook like not not itself, but like I think there's a positive learning like, thing about you if you can like, step outside what's going on in the show? You're like, if you

Michele Baci:

can turn it off if you can stop watch Yeah,

Skyler Glordano:

then yeah, like, but like, yeah, when I watch TV like, I'll watch like, I always say like, I always like to watch anime, but like, it's very specific anime, but uh, stuff that I grew up with when I was a little kid watching anime like three in the morning my grandparents are sleeping. I'm watching Adult Swim. And like, that's what I like to watch like that. Like those kinds of animes that you'd you'd see like three in the morning like just real pulpy. Stupid animes are really good ones. But I named two of my kids I named to both my kids are named after anime characters, but Oh, that's cute. But uh, yeah, I just

Michele Baci:

watch TV. You're getting like something out of watching anime. If you're watching. Like, are you getting a lot out of it?

Skyler Glordano:

Oh, either watch anime or I watch like old crappy movies. Or I'll watch like really good movies. Like, I'd like my favorite movie of all time is Blade Runner. 2049. Have you ever seen that one? No. But like is the first Blade Runner. I've always liked the first Blade Runner. But like, it's when I saw the second one. I was like, I saw it in theaters. And I was like, Whoa, this is like the best movie I've ever seen in my life. Like, it's just it's like three hours long and like, are like two and a half hours long. And some scenes are just like 30 seconds of just establishing shots. It's a beautiful movie. But yeah, I, whenever I watch TV, I need to get something like, I wish I could. I don't know. I'm trying to say I wish I could turn off and watch nine days feed 90 Day fiance. That's what I wish I wish I could just sit down and turn on a stupid TV show. My wife would sit there and watch the good doctor right now, huh? And she just listen. But she's like, what's because I'm home with the kids a lot. And I feel like I have friends. I listen to doctors talk. And I'm like, Okay, thanks. But uh, but there's,

Michele Baci:

there's different mindless TV you could get into if you really want to, I don't think it's something you have to do. But I'm sure there's a lot about musicians or comedy that you could watch apps in my apps. And

Skyler Glordano:

here's the problem, though, is like, here's my problem. Like, I Alright, so I bought my sense. I bought all of these about this ad agency squared ADHD. It was it was earlier this year, I think March was my was the blue one over here. And then was $700. I'll just say it out loud. I didn't pay up front. So you i, i got i did a payment plan on it. Because you know, I'm a millennial, I don't have any money.

Michele Baci:

Yeah, I'm a fan of payment plans.

Skyler Glordano:

But I get I get the I get that. And I'm like if I just get this has given me a nice layer of music. But if I get like this, I'll be set. So I get something else. And I get something else. And I just had to say stop. Because I bought that one, that one, there's three below it. There's another one somewhere else in my house that's like a drum machine that I broke like an idiot. And I just couldn't stop because like, I just want to get to enjoy playing since. But I had to do it for something. If I if I get a guitar, I want to join a band. If I get a sense I want to do sense for podcast. Like, I feel like everything I do has to be connected to something bigger. This is the I guess that's kind of like the the caveat ADHD because I did say it was really nice to be able to hyper fixate and have like, direction like having no direction while also having direction. Those are all good things about ADHD. But the same time like you always feel like you're not doing enough. You always feel like you're on accomplish. So you I rarely feel accomplishment. Like, I feel a constant imposter syndrome. Whenever I get like, like, oh, man, you you broke 1000 plays I'm like, That's not me. I didn't do that. And I'm like, No, you did a podcast broke out. And I'm like, my name's on it. But I don't know what you're talking. I didn't do that man that was just like, I feel like I can't, I can't just sit back and like relish in anything that I've ever done.

Michele Baci:

Right? You have to you have to do that. In order to be happy. You have to be able to step back a little bit and be like, Look at my accomplishments.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, and luckily, these days like these people, like before I hit you up to you know, we started talking, I was like, I finally started to feel like I'm gonna sit back and just enjoy. I think Twitter help. I know Twitter, people have a problem with Twitter. But if you look at my Twitter for megastar seven I just post stupid stuff that pops into my head. And that's ADHD again, I'm at work and I'm like this be really funny and I makes no sense. I'll just post it anyway. Ah, it feels nice to have that place to like just speak out into the world because you can't keep it in your head and I have an outer monologue. So I'll just talk to myself. About like What I have to do, and it's nice to be able to like focus it somewhere. But then again, like, I feel like ADHD is like a water balloon, and you just have to pop it once in a while to let go of all that building up. And I think

Michele Baci:

you're onto a lot of analogies like this. I have

Skyler Glordano:

thought. And you know, now I've never really thought about until these past couple years about ADHD and can I the manic depression thing I don't even think about like, I know I have it. I know I have some like not like I have some like angry moments where I get like real angry and I hold on to the anger a lot easier. Like I'm starting to get better at letting it all go. And kids will teach you that if you're an angry person. You're talking to someone who doesn't hear you can be a very angering experience. But eventually you begin to just let it go. But ADHD I've thought heavily about because like I'm starting to realize that like, a lot of my friends will like Miss diagnose me which if you're listening don't miss diagnose your friends. Yeah, I had a friend try very hard to go seek. Oh, I have my son here. Oh, yeah. Hello, jet.

Michele Baci:

Is he okay? Oh, everything. Okay.

Skyler Glordano:

He's like, he's like, I want to be out there on my God. I'm calling coming in a few minutes.

Michele Baci:

And I've kept you too long. I'm

Skyler Glordano:

sorry. No, no. I think my wife on a fallen asleep. So I don't speak of the devil. I'm like, here he comes. I'm like, Oh, I hear someone coming in. Like, I figured it'd be jet. But uh, he's no, my kids are great. But, uh,

Michele Baci:

he wants you to do an update.

Skyler Glordano:

Yes, he's like, Well, Stella's sounds awake. Because the sun's interface. And I'm like, Okay.

Michele Baci:

Well, I won't keep you too much longer. I did want to ask just because I'm sure the podcasts are you. You said you weren't in therapy. So why did you stop going? Why? Why aren't you?

Skyler Glordano:

Sorry? Okay, so therapy is just too expensive.

Michele Baci:

It can be expensive. I

Skyler Glordano:

feel like, what when I decided to stop going? It was I was like, 17. And I just was like, I don't know, like, I kind of blended psychiatrists and therapists together, which is not the case.

Michele Baci:

And you asked Vasa bin Ahmed. Since Yeah, that's a lot to

Skyler Glordano:

No one sat me down and said, Look, scholar therapists are different than psychiatrist they're not the same thing. Like a psychiatrist will listen to what you have to say. But they're not going to offer you like listening here. They're just there to like, help guide you to a good, like prescribed medication to help you a therapist is there to help and offer advice. No one ever sat me down to say that, because my therapist, I had one I can't read any of her names, but he was an old, it was like maybe 60 years old. And I would, he would try to pry me open because I was always like, very, like, I want to talk. I'll talk about and we'll talk about it. And I would find start talking and whenever I start talking, he would just not often he's like, Alright, that was great. I was like, oh, no, no, if that was like some kind of like, weird, cuz I'm gonna tell you something. That sounds like he was being a jerk. But like, it got me to open up entirely. I don't know, if there was like some kind of like reverse mind trickery there. Because like, that was extreme. Because, like, if you give me a wall to talk to, I will talk to a wall. Yeah, this guy would just fall asleep. And I would say everything was on my mind. I would walk out feeling better. So I don't know. Like, maybe and maybe that's just like, you know, idiot savant where, like, you know, you just fall into a good thing, but, but you know, I don't know, I felt like growing up, I have a pride of a level of pride that I feel like I need to break down sometimes to go talk to a therapist. So like, when I was my pride, four years of no more medication, trying to refine myself learning more about myself, and kind of kind of trying to like relive some stuff that was missed as a kid because I was on medication. And I just didn't want it I was so busy and by the time I could go to therapy or should go to therapy, I had no money because like in a very quick time I went from live with my grandparents which was like a relatively privileged environment to living with my mom in not so relatively privileged environment. And that fell apart met my wife I live in an apartment the size of my room back here. I had a bathroom it was pretty much my whole heart my apartment. And that I did that for a while that was my wife and I lived he lived in a Columbia which is like a water town outside of Lancaster. And that's it. But yeah, I mean, I should have learned to like use like go to therapy and just kind of bite the bullet cuz I think it's helpful but like, I don't know like, I think my wife's like my wife is worse we're trying to get to like I think it's good for couples to have a couple counseling even if you're not telling Yeah, I think I was there I think it was great. Yeah. Like I think like I think even if you're if your marriage or relationship is good, like nothing hurts to just Yeah. Oh, and just get like a make sure everything's cool. Like the key

Michele Baci:

is to go before you need it. Otherwise like things could get Bad later.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, I mean, like, so I think that's the first step because like, we have kids right now and COVID so bad, it's gonna get bad again. So like, I think like, once things kind of like, lighten up again, I think we'll just start with couples counseling. And then kind of just to, I think we're, I think we're in a good place. But I think like, again, I want to make sure that I think it's again, so going back, we were talking about self awareness is important. And, yeah, I think, I think why I stopped going was because like, I dropped all of it at once, medication therapy and everything. And then I spent so long trying to find myself. And by the time, it all came back around, I felt like I didn't need it anymore. And now I'm kind of like regretting not going back just to kind of get like a mental checkup to see where I was. And I felt like, I felt like I've done the hard way for a long time about what not going to therapy, like I've had to like, work out my own issues a lot harder without someone to talk to that was just totally unbiased. So I think in the next few months, I'll probably start going back. So yeah, do you don't even know where to start? Do

Michele Baci:

you have insurance benefits you could use? I do. Luckily. Yeah. So look up a therapist and your insurance network

Skyler Glordano:

and just try Yeah, does i That's I'm probably gonna do that for sure.

Michele Baci:

And I can't recommend couples counseling enough. Like, I think my boyfriend and I just, you know, got stuck in quarantine. And I think we needed it. But the therapist mostly just opened up things I didn't know about him at all. And it really did strengthen us as a couple. So I recommend it.

Skyler Glordano:

And I'm going to take their recommendation, and I think I will do that.

Michele Baci:

Do it if you if you listen to therapy roulette. We're having a couples therapist on soon so

Skyler Glordano:

Oh, I did I didn't I did listen a couple episodes because I think a lot of our podcast recently was my wife's friend who has a podcast with comedian I'd never met him before. So I listen to like the first eight episodes of his podcast. Who I'm gonna be sitting down with

Michele Baci:

so yeah, it's smart. It's good way to get to know someone. Yeah,

Skyler Glordano:

I mean, because it podcast you just say it all. So

Michele Baci:

yeah, check it out. Later this month. Love the couples therapist on and let's spin the wheel if you have time just to answer a quick question. They're all gone now. So okay, if if he comes back? Okay, landed on. If you had to choose a superpower, what would you choose? And why?

Skyler Glordano:

Oh, I guess this is a good question. I don't know. Like part of me likes the idea of like, whatever Mr. Manhattan was on sounds cool as hell, like, documented. But uh,

Michele Baci:

he's like a space jet.

Skyler Glordano:

If I had a jet if I had a superpower, what would it be? No, I'm finishing up now.

Michele Baci:

He's He's a space alien. Right

Skyler Glordano:

doctor that if you had a superpower, what would it be? What's your superpower? Yeah, running and jumping. I think my superpower would be water breathing, or some kind of psycho communication. Like being able to like walk through walls or stuff like that. Sounds cool. Cool. I got one. Interfacing with technology. That sounds cool.

Michele Baci:

What does that mean? Like? Well, you

Skyler Glordano:

know, like technology. Yeah. Like, you know, like being able to like, lay a ghost. I don't know, like being like, I had this idea for a superhero that was like, that was like he could like mess it up. I want to call poltergeist and he can like go in through the Marvel don't steal this idea from me. I had this idea for a superhero that was like, his name was poltergeist and he would like mess with technology. He would go into like, you know, like the old movie poltergeist. The TV would do weird stuff. Yeah. So I thought it'd be cool. Like, that could

Michele Baci:

be cool. Definitely very helpful in the current age. So

Skyler Glordano:

yes, but like, I think I think Dr. Manhattan's like reality bending ability would be awesome. That'd be that'd be mine.

Michele Baci:

That'd be very cool. I love that a HBO version of Watchmen to that I

Skyler Glordano:

haven't washed it yet. I need to I hear it's a lot more faithful. I mean, I don't know. I think I think Zack Snyder's version was very faithful to the comic as well I think it but like I liked that like cuz it doesn't take place after the comic books. Though the hBo

Michele Baci:

hBo I think a comic book I think it just like an interpretation of the world during the comic, but not okay. Different story I think but I not

Skyler Glordano:

because I don't really like the alien squids in it like the alien square that like I heard that the alien squid shows up and that was like a big thing that was that was skipped in Zack Snyder's version. So

Michele Baci:

I think it's different from the movie. So yeah, movies,

Skyler Glordano:

the movies like its own thing, I think but like I do have to check it out. What show what so HBO? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could get my hands on that.

Michele Baci:

Do it. I'm not even a big superhero person. I loved it. So

Skyler Glordano:

I'm not here. Yeah.

Michele Baci:

It's good. It's good storytelling.

Skyler Glordano:

Yeah, I'm more of a Star Wars guy, but

Michele Baci:

there you go. I'm Skyler. Thank you. so much. Thank you so much for having me. Tell us where to find you and how to listen.

Skyler Glordano:

Oh, okay, you can check out a megastar seven on any streaming platform. And if you if you saw on the one you listened to let me know on Twitter at at omega star seven underscore pod, because I will get it on that podcast app for you. So you can check out my bands persona gray bottom shelf, from when I was doing music, and you can check out mega star seven on your favorite podcast streaming platform.

Michele Baci:

Alright, well, we'll definitely check it out.

Skyler Glordano:

Thank you for having me.

Michele Baci:

Thank you. Thanks so much for listening to Therapy Roulette. I will be back with a new episode in two Thursdays. But before you turn off your phone or switch around to another episode of something, could you leave me review on Apple podcasts it would mean a lot. If you don't mess with Apple. Just tell a friend about the podcast and that's your way of spreading the word and it really helps this podcast to grow. Just drop a DM or snap a tick tock or whatever the kids do these days just tell us a lot about Therapy Roulette because it's it's good and people need to know if you want to support us and donate to our caffeine budget and production costs. You can drop a few bucks on coffee.com it's K-O dash F-I dot com slash Therapy Roulette. If you don't know how to spell that still, it's in the show notes. So just click to the Episode Notes and the link is there to support us. A few bucks goes a long way and I appreciate it and my brain will get all jittery and then I'll you know want to talk to people and I'm an introvert. So that's like really good for me. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you again in two Thursdays

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